November 16, 2009

What's the point of my PhD?

I've just finished a chapter of my thesis. Most depressing chapter I've written so far. Writing about corruption and anti-corruption in Uganda left me feeling hopeless; stateless even. As prominent journalist Andrew Mwenda put it, in Uganda, Corruption is accountability. (Now I should put a link to his article here but I am not technology savvy enough so I will just copy and paste it):

http://www.independent.co.ug/index.php/the-last-word/the-last-word/3-the-last-word/2040-when-corruption-is-accountability

The long and short of it is that if corruption is accountability, what's the point of my thesis on the role of Commissions of Inquiry in Fighting Corruption in Uganda? No point. I have little wind left in my sails, but there's no giving up now. I'll have to figure it out somehow and hopefully, still make my modest contribution to knowledge. Thing is, who wants to be modest when you could be changing the world? Looks like my dream of changing Uganda will have to remain just that - a dream.


November 12, 2009

Reluctant Blogger

This is my second attempt at blogging.

I started a blog at blogspot.com in April this year but deleted it in August.  I'm jittery about sharing my thoughts and feelings with the world. I am not sure why I'm like this, but the thought of opening up myself to scrutiny  by strangers, especially if my thoughts are "improper" or controversial makes me think "why bother?" Could it be a long-standing fear and dread of any kind of criticism? If this is the case, it's high time I grew up. Confession - I don't even have a Facebook account. I have gallantly resisted numerous invitations from friends to sign up. A friend invited me to follow her on twitter. I signed up because I naively thought it seemed easier, but then found I was overwhelmed by all the endless @s and the short, clipped messages. I deleted my account within 2 weeks. I read in the Times some weeks ago that my aversion to this new trend is a sign of old age, or something to that effect. Well, at 33 going on 34, I am definitely not a member of the Facebook generation.

I don't know how long the current window of openness that I am feeling right now will last. I'm already asking msyelf exactly what my motives are for starting this blog and I can't seem to find a good enough answer. But surely, reflecting on the conclusions I am drawing from my research is a good enough reason? Keeping my fingers crossed...




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