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July 02, 2010
Being assertive; this is my aim goal. I worked hard into it, and I got it. Nowadays, I would put forward my agreement or disagreement whenever it happens. I would not rather just listen and taking in other people's opinions or decisions, but making my own judgment and decision in opposite. This skill had indeed improved my confidence in speaking and eliminated my inferiority towards other people gradually.
I always had the slogan 'falling tail' in my mind whenever I tried to speak to people. It was very useful and effective. Instead of raising my intonation at the ened of my words, I would rather end my sentence in a calm and cool manner. As a result, the people are really listening to your words. However, sometimes I did doubt that whether my friends could be angered by the way that I was speaking to them. I was quite 'aggresive' sometimes in making my decisons.
As for appearance and personality, I tried to maintain a cool and 'smart' personality. I know that the chance of accepted by other people would increase if a person is acting smartly and confidently.
February 06, 2010
Things did not change much here...I am still not being assertive enough, but I do try to make it...
I am still very quiet in class, afraid to speak up...I am not outspoken enough in CLASS...However, it's not that I did not want to speak up sometimes, it's because I was always out of ideas, as I was not a brilliant person....so, I did not know what to tell other people..
I did not change much in my ways of speaking...The intonation is more a less the same as before...but it's improving a bit, I guess...just time matters.....
---mei ling (0936627)---
January 24, 2010
THREE main changes that I am going to make to my behaviour:
1. Intonation and Volume
- Change my speaking attitude and apply the "LEVEL Head, FALLING Tail" pattern.
- Lower my volume whenever I want to be assertive.
- Try to be outspoken and straightforward.
- Volunteering to pour out opinions in class.
3. Stand for my own rights.
- Negotiate with others and firm with my own arguments.
- Learn to say 'NO'.
--mei ling (0936627)--
January 23, 2010
18th January 2010
Tutor: Bev Walshe
Am I being assertive before this? The answer is NO! That was the main reason for me to attend this worshop. I want to learn the SKILLS and figure out whether I could do it or not.
Passive? Aggresive? These two aspects are part of assertiveness.
-Low self-esteem -Outspoken
-Inactive participation -Proactive
-Shy -Dominating others
-Quiet -Bossy/ irritating/ annoying
-Low confidence -Over self-confidence
Frankly, between these two categories, I fall into the 'Passive' one. I was not confident with myself and I would rather sit down and listen to other people. Sometimes, I would like to contribute too, however, failed to do so when I saw other people are a lot better than me. Besides that, if ever I faced a difficult situation between others and I, I would tend to agree or just follow whatever THEY think is the best. I did not have the courage to stand for my own rights.
Fortunately, this workshop offered me VERY USEFUL TIPS to change my attitude. Firstly, I must be aware of my body posture (eye contact, feet parallel, weight firm, face forward, straight back, level shoulders). Secondly, INTONATION and VOLUME are very essential when we speak to someone. It did not neccessarily to talk 'loud' in order to be assertive. "LEVEL Head, FALLING Tail"- this is a vital concept that everyone must apply. It will give the impact of assertiveness with the least emotional and intentional information. The practices in the workshop really gave me a good chance to see how actually an assertive person looked like.
Furthermore, I found out that those people who are outspoken and assertive are not being rude or mean. It depended on our ways in judging their behaviours. Different individuals would have different perspectives. Therefore, be positive!
Overall, a person who is assertive is the one who can express his/her words and needs without dominating others. Respecting the others is very important and one must be able to negotiate and resolve conflicts/ confrontations that might happen. Those who wants to be assertive also need to be confident and believe in themselves!
--mei ling (0936627)--