All entries for Saturday 04 February 2012
February 04, 2012
Tutor was Samantha Tarren.
Notice the feeling of not wanting to work on something. Evaluate it. Query the reasons for existence. While working on something, query those feelings, too, for completeness’s sake.
Note feelings of annoyance/anger/frustration when they arise, and why. Note consequences. Query whether this human emotion known as “sadness” would be more appropriate (knowing me, the answer I’ll likely come to is “no”!).
One thing that (likely?) had an effect on my lack of feeling sadness would be my dad’s refrain of “don’t get sad, get mad! Getting upset never helps anything.” – and I think he was right. Depression just interferes with discussing the issue and fixing it; and generally interferes with contemplation. Then again, the latter also applies to anger, which can also lead to impulsiveness, although I’ve also been able to focus it into improving my work – but then I’ve been able to do that perfectly well without that consideration simply from the knowledge that it was wrong or imperfect as it stood, so who knows in the end?
Enough meandering, we’ll see how this plan goes.