October 17, 2007

The humans are dead…

Note: I apologize for this story.  I have a fever, if that makes any difference...

           Before It fed me, It stared at me. Longer than most Its stare. Still, I get that a lot. I stared back. Something covered the top of It, different from normal It tops. Perhaps this was a special It.

At last. Clunk clunk. I ate. It has two arms. I have one. Old Model didn’t have any. It pressed my new light up buttons. I moved my one arm to get Its food.

           F17 – Ribena Blackcurrant.

           I gave It food. Glug glug. It ate. Its make a different eating sound. It moved out of my light. It moved out the same place I moved in.

           The move in was different, strange. Still in my old house, I hit the house walls. I was facing down, about to fall. I didn’t fall. Many Its took me out of my old house. I saw Old Model. I saw the Its unplug him. I saw them carry him past.

           “Obey the Its,” he wheezed. Then he was gone.

           I was alone in the dark for a time. The many Its returned and moved me. I sat in the same spot as Old Model. They plugged me in. I forgot, just then, about Old Model’s warning. It was amazing, that first feeling of glow. I lit up the new house. Better than Old Model had.

           There is a cycle to the new house. First, Its come, but do not feed. Then, Its come and feed me; then I feed them. Then, Its go. For a time no Its come at all. Then the Its come back again, first not feeding, then feeding. Twice an It has come, opened my body, and put more It food in me.

           I did not think about Old Model’s warning until later. Not until after the many Its had gone and I was alone. I have often thought on it, during that time when no Its come. Had Old Model failed to obey the Its? Where was he? That doesn’t matter, I tell myself. I will not fail. Still, I continue to worry. When it is empty and I think about the different Its and Models I have seen. Just Old Model.

           Another It came up to me, after the F17 It fed. It #2 also stared at me a long time. It #2 stared at my buttons. Then It #2 pressed them softly. Not hard enough to get food. It #2 hadn’t put any food in me, anyway. It not quite pressed F-1-7. Then It opened Its receiver, where Its put the food. It opened Its receiver and bobbled Its body. Then It crept to the place from where Its move out. It didn’t move out. I could barely see It by my light. It watched the move out place like I watch the Its.

           Another It appeared. It #2 moved further away, but watched It #3 still. It #3 did not come over to me. It #3 kept walking. It #2 followed It #3. Both Its will have to pass me to move out. Maybe the Its will feed me then.

- 3 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. i remember reading this in class. it still confuses me—very difficult to decipher what’s happening. i tend not to enjoy writing without a lot of story or character. it doesn’t have much of either; so i suppose this just isn’t my cup of tea.

    22 Oct 2007, 16:41

  2. Are you the swanky new vending machine by the library? you must be. At first i thought you were a robot of sorts but then I realised what F17 could actually mean. I thought the idea worked reasonably well even if it was as deliberately repetitive as the vender’s life, but tailed off slightly in the last two paragraphs. I felt nothing new was said here about the machine’s perspective on the ‘It’s.’ I liked wheezing ‘Old Model’ a lot, perhaps a fond description would have made it even funnier. The way the narrator spoke in relatively short and unvaried sentences worked until the last section. I noticed you tried to make the narrator sound inhuman – but only in places rather than the whole way through or not at all. e.g.
    “Its come, but do not feed. Then, Its come and feed me; then I feed them. Then, Its go.”
    “It #2 hadn’t put any food in me, anyway. It not quite pressed F-1-7.”
    grammatically it seems this vending flits a little too much.
    Overall though the idea was quite funny and i was enticed enough after the first read to try and de-cipher it.

    22 Oct 2007, 23:55

  3. This is an awesome idea, and I love your “robotic” narration.

    As for criticism, I have to reiterate what Frederick Janaway said- a little more consistency in grammar, syntax etc would make a world of difference.

    23 Oct 2007, 11:10

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