All entries for Tuesday 23 October 2007

October 23, 2007

The Graduate Bar Assignment

Here is week four's assignment, as I understand it:

          I’m dressed to KO, since I just did the laundry yesterday.  My jeans even smell nice. Look out, boys, all your base are belong to meI look around as I step through the door and see that most of the tables are taken.  It’s cool.  The situation is under control.  I can always ask some good-looking guys to make room for me at their table.  Speaking of which, a bishie is at the bar.  Perfect.  I need to get a drink anyway.

          As I approach the bar, another girl, scantily clad, moves up to my guy and flips her hair.  I don’t think so.  Light-years too early, Rikku-look-alike.

          “Hey, do you guys serve synthehol?” I ask loudly at the bar.  The bishie turns to look at me.  So does Rikku-girl.

          “No,” grunts the bar stooge.

          “Then I guess I’ll just have to get a coke, thanks.”

          “I’m helping someone else right now,” says the stooge, “so you’ll have to wait.”  He turns away.

I turn and give the bishie an “oh-brother” smile.  He gives a strained smile back.  Does that mean he likes me?  Does that mean he thinks I’m BIFF?  Should I just turn back to the bar and not look at him again?  I can see the other girl giggling inanely on the other side of him.  I can’t be pwnd like that.  She is just too stupid.

          “So,” I ask (after all, he smiled back – that is practically an invitation!) “have you ever played Metal Gear Solid?”

          “Uh, no.”

          Uh-oh.  He is the non-communicative type.  Does that mean he doesn’t play video games?  Or just that he hasn’t played that video game?  Is he more into FPS or multiplayer?

          “Oh, not a TEAG type of guy, huh?  That’s leet.What do you play?”

          “Uh… rugby,” he says.

         Oh.  Oh no.  He is one of those “athletic guys.”  I met a girl on mIRC who dated an athletic guy once to see what they were like.  All he talked about was football.  He hadn’t ever played a video game and thought that “html” was a type of sandwich.  What’s worse, his idea of a date was to let her watch him work out.

          I send the Rikku bimbo a telepathic message that says “He’s all yours” and turn back to the bar.

          A short guy in jeans and a t-shirt smiles at me on my right.  His shirt says “Old School Education” and has a picture of an SNES on the front.  He could be leet.

         “Are you the girl who asked for synthehol?”

         “Yeah,” I admit, hopefully.

         “Does this look anything like Ten-Forward to you?”

         “No,” I laugh, “but who knows, the invasion might have happened while I was re-playing FFVII.”

         “Oh, a classic!” he says.  “I don’t have all my systems here, so I’ve just been re-playing Oblivion.”

         “Cool,” I say.  Now that I’m talking to a nice guy (could he be some kind of haxor alpha nerd??It’s too early to tell), I don’t know what to say.

         “What do you say I buy you your coke and we go over to the stools and talk binary?” he asks.

         I want to say “74k3 m3, !m j0v2z!” but I settle with a “Sounds good.”  A new bar stooge has arrived and SNES boy orders two cokes while I smile goofily at him.  I can’t seem to stop myself.

         “I’m Zak, although my real friends know me as ChronoPulley.”

         “I’m misashi-j0, aka Sara,” I say as the bar stooge puts our cokes on the counter.


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