March 06, 2007

Part of the break up ritual

I received a text today from Rebekah asking me if she could come and collect her stuff this weekend. Unfortunately I have no credit to respond to her, this means she will have an hour or so of suspense, perhaps a little longer if I decide to venture over to the Battle of the Bands runners up final this evening which is a possibility. The answer to the text will be "no," but with a few more words as I feel obliged to be polite. You can't just shun somebody who was a part of your life for two years, even if cutting off contact forever is inevitable as part of the breaking up process.

Giving somebody all their stuff back is part of the breaking up ritual, it's quite a traumatic event. You find yourself searching your room for any items that belong to your former lover, putting them in a bag ready to present to her. This isn't made any easier when you know that the next time you see her will probably be the last. It's easy to find yourself thinking about the inevitable encounter, conjuring up scenarios about how it will go. You'll either look at each other completely coldly and with such distance and disgust or you'll feel an overwhelming about of love wishing that things didn't have to be the way they are. Whatever the reaction you know that they'll be tears at some point - whether it's during the encounter or a short time after. What I do not want to happen is her Mother to take her and for her to see me. Her Mother is hardly my favourite person in the world but I could imagine she might want to tell me how I have ruined her daughter's life and broken her daughter's heart. I pray this does not happen for I do not know how I would react, it could be that I tell her a few things I don't like about her which would be the wrong reaction. I do not want to make the last time I see Rebekah an all out negative experience. Part of me is considering slipping some sort of letter to her in the bag, but I am not quite sure what I would write - this will take some considerable thought. It will probably be a thank you for all the good memories together, even though I know we were not meant to be. That's difficult to type: we were not meant to be. After two years, two years of memories, of love, of special moments. Everywhere I look there is a constant reminder of Rebekah.

- 3 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Bumping into exes parents is the best thing man… the best thing. Gone is the social obligation to be nice to them. Think of all those months her mum was breaking your balls… giving you slightly feebler portions at the dinner table, making fun of that new hair-do of yours… or whatever this particular lover’s parent did to assert her lover-parentyness upon you. Think of how satisfying it’ll be to pass on the street and know that if she stops to talk to you then you are within your full jurisdiction to break wind if you see fit, and there’s not a damn thing she can do about it. Not a god damned thing.

    Men.

    30 Mar 2007, 20:30

  2. This is indeed true. Thank you for your comment, I felt it had the usual Phil charm and character about it, the one that you clearly use to attract all the ladies – the stallion that you are. It’s not easy being in high demand, you have to remember what multiple people like rather than just one and you have to make sure you call them by the correct name. Nobody likes being called Samantha if their name is Laura, it just doesn’t go down well – I know. The perils of being a young man; it’s a tough life.

    03 Apr 2007, 00:31

  3. natalie

    Your lucky that you go to actually give Rebekah everything back. My boyfriend and I (granite I am only going to be a freshman in college) dated for five years, he broke up with me before prom, and i didn’t even get to give anything back. My family is “too close” of friends with his for me to do that (says my mother). He the procedes to call me and try to be my friend. I am sorry, the only thing he has to put up with from my family is my three sisters hating him. My parents actually probably still like him alot.

    19 Aug 2007, 08:32


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