All entries for November 2007

November 28, 2007


I went riding last night. I fell off. It hurt – a LOT. Luckily the only real injury was to my pride, but as a physical reminder of my blunder I have a very special bruise on my right thigh, which is where I landed on the Pommel (front of the saddle) having jumped rather bigger than I had expected, and then I sort of just bounced off and landed on my back, and ended up covered head to toe in very wet sand. Not good.

I ache a lot today and walking is not the easiest thing to do.

I got back on though (with a bit of help) and did the jumps again, but I didn’t want to go on and do the course, so I just did a couple of the smaller ones and did some flatwork instead. When I got home I realised the sand had made its way right through my jodphurs and it took ages to scrub off!

It’s a shame I fell off really, because the actual jump was really good, I just couldn’t stay on at the landing! Such is life. Not put off though – I’m starting to enjoy it again and remember why I love Horses so much!

edit: here’s a pic of the monster bruise…

November 19, 2007


I’ve noticed over the past few days how differently people deal with grief. I don’t profess to know why this happens or what it means, but it seems to be that there are various different versions on a few categories that people tend to fall into.

First of all I’ve noticed the “normality” method. (obviously not a technical term, I just made it up). This is where you talk to someone who was close to the person in question and they seem as if nothing has happened, and don’t burst into tears or wail even if you mention the person. They talk around the subject, even crack a joke or two, and are very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. These are the people that worry me the most. You know that actually under the brave facade they are falling apart, finding it incomprehensible that this could have happened, and perhaps even in denile.

Then there’s the “Silent” method. This is where the person in question doesn’t mention at all what has happened and doesn’t want to be anywhere near anyone else who is willing to talk about it. As if they won’t accept it has happened, or that even the thought of it is too upsetting. They are the ones where when they don’t think anyone is watching them they have this vacant expression and a sadness to them that just makes you want to go over and give them a massive hug.

I’m not sure how to describe the next one…it’s where you get upset initially, then you calm down and think you’re fine, but find that things wholly unconnected with the actual grief will make you cry buckets, which links back to the grief itself. For example, you might be going along fine, then someone does something stupid – e.g. pull out infront of you or cut you up and instead of reacting with a blast on the horn, possibly a rude sign or just yelling loudly at them, you take it really personally and all of a sudden the world seems out to get you and you deal with it really badly. perhaps “repressed” would be one way to describe it.

It’s difficult to know how to approach people who are dealing with their own grief in all these (and more) ways, and I’ve always felt that sadness and grief are a very personal thing and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. I suppose it doesn’t matter how you do it, what’s important is that you get support, however this manifests itself – it could be a hug, some kind words, offers of help with everyday tasks, counselling or even medication. It’s so sad and life altering to lose a loved one, and it does make you think about how fragile the balance is between life and death. I think that it’s after the dust settles, once everything has been put in order that the shock stops and the real grieving process begins.

November 07, 2007

Thinking about the countdown…

OK I know it’s only early November but I’ve been thinking about Christmas, and not in the “ohmyGodit’sChristmasIneedtobuypresentswhatthehellamIgoingtogetARGHIcan’thandlethestress” sort of way, more in the “Ah, Christmas. Jolly good. That means I get 10 days of peace from work (bloody marvellous, I can’t wait to kiss this place goodbye for 10 days), I get to visit family, (hopefully) meet up with some old pals from home, drink copious amounts of mulled wine, sing carols and cheesy Christmas tunes until I go hoarse, plan gifts, write cards, decorate my office and my house, go to some lovely services, play the Christmas CD in my car that Lu has made for me (legend) and have various soirees involving sausage rolls, pass the parcel and quite possibly Kazoos.

I’ve bought a couple of presents already and have been thinking about other presents for people in some spare moments (not that I’ve had many of those recently) in the hope that I will be organised and not panicking in my 1 day off before Christmas when I might actually get to do some shopping…

I’m fully intending to do most of my shopping online, or quite possibly from Sainsbury’s. There’s a 95% chance this will be sufficient, which is just as well given that it’s rather too far to pop out to town in my lunchbreaks!

Christmas presents and all that stuff aside, reasons to look forward to the festive period include:
wearing scarves and gloves and large furry boots; getting really cold walking in the countryside and then coming home to a roaring fire and a cup of tea; fun nights in the pub; Christmas Lunch; Church; Random people dropping in for sloe gin; driving home with the Best Xmas Album EVER in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Vol XVIII blasting out; Christmas eve (favourite night of the year) and copious amounts of classic Disney films. Ah, marvellous.

A totally random musing aside, I’ve discovered that my friend Tom looks an awful lot like Simon Amstell. What do you think?


November 2007

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