All 2 entries tagged Chocolate

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August 06, 2008

Brief Public Service Announcement

If anyone is ever unsure what to get me for a birthday / christmas present, can I direct you to this website

To quote:
“The Nestlé Raisin and Biscuit Yorkie is probably the best chocolate bar ever, but strangely they’re simply not available in enough shops.

So we created a shop, a shop that only sells Raisin and Biscuit Yorkie bars. That’s right! Your one stop shop for Raisin and Biscuit Yorkie bars is here.”

And yes, I know Nestle are evil, but they taste so good…

June 05, 2008

New Chocolate Review!

or “This sort of post is why I struggle to be taken seriously as a writer”

KitKat Senses
KitKat hit the new flavour jackpot some years back with their Chunky Peanut Butter flavour, and have recently launched KitKat Senses. Apparently it’s aimed at young women, but sod it, I love Galaxy Ripples and if we’re going to start basing sexuality on your choice of chocolate bar then I should have been born an hermaphrodite dammit. I’m equal opps too: if you’re a girl and want a Yorkie, GO FOR IT. The raisin and biscuit flavour is rather nice, though once I got one with no biscuit in which was a bit weird. The KitKat Senses bar has plenty of biscuit in the form of your traditional KitKat wafer though, in fact it’s around twice as much as a Kinder Buneo which it rips off with impunity. As such, the Senses bar isn’t as tasty as its progenitor as the wafer and chocolate totally overpower the hazelnut cream. With a Buneo you can bite off the top and scoop out the filling separately on occasion for a varied taste experience (if you’re a a bit odd). Doing so with a KitKat Senses bar just gives you a small amount of bland, dry paste. The one thing they would have over the Buneo is that they’re more filling. Or they would be if there wasn’t only one in the pack, compared to the Buneo’s two individually wrapped bars. The latter of course, having the added advantage of allowing you to choose between either eating extra chocolate or giving one away to that pretty girl in the office in the hopes of fostering a future a romantic relationship. Or at the very least some kinky chocolate sharing ‘friends-with-benefits’ arrangement where she buys you Galaxy Ripples in exchange for Toblerone.

Kinder Bueno White
Not to be outdone, Kinder have hit back at at Nestle by going somewhere they can’t possibly follow, oh yes my friends, they made a Buneo White. Remember the KitKat White? I do. I still get gustatory flashbacks every time I bite into a piece of burnt toast. Nestle have a proven inability to ‘do’ white chocolate and have recently stopped trying. It’s telling that as far as I know Nestle still make the White KitKat (in the traditional, non-chunky, 4-finger design) but NOWHERE SELLS IT except one newsagents in Edinburgh just opposite the the Gilded Balloon. They also have Space Raiders and Irn Bru chewy bars.
Kinder can do white chocolate though, but since the texture and the filling were always the main draw and the drivers of the taste in a Buneo, and they went light on the chocolate anyway, there’s not really a big difference between the milk and white versions. Should you fancy a bit of variety, by all means try it out. It’s a little lighter and the chocolate enhances the creamy flavour rather than providing a sharper counter-point, but it’s mostly the same bar. If KitKat ever released a Senses White though… well lets put it this way: if you and Alyson Hanningan / Johnny Depp (delete according to sexual preference) are alone starving on a desert island with only a Senses White left to eat, forego a last night of passion before the final bit of food is gone. Instead, put a bullet in them and start the cannibalising there and then instead. Don’t make them eat the Senses White first though either, that’d be cruel.

Galaxy Dark
No, I’m not making this up. I’m quite aware the very title is a contradiction in terms. Remember when Wikipedia was down for a few days some months back? (of course they do Dean, because everyone else uses it for six hours a day like you do) That was because someone wrote an entry about Galaxy Dark and the servers all crashed like in Wargames when Matthew Broderick makes the computer play itself at Tic-Tac-Toe.
See, I’ve always believed there was a scale of chocolate, which had dark chocolate at one end, goes through Dairy Milk in the middle, and has Galaxy at the other end. As you move from left to right the cocoa decreases and the milk increases. Galaxy Dark smashes this to pieces by having a lot of cocoa and a lot of milk. Clearly the result is going to be… well fairly pedestrian actually. It’s not bitter like dark chocolate, so you end up with something like a particularly strong Dairy Milk with the traditional, slightly burnt, dark-chocolate after-taste. It’s certainly worth trying as there’s nothing quite like it, but you probably won’t ever eat more than one. It’s just too unremarkable.

Creme Egg Twisted
So we save the best until last. I love Creme Eggs. That four months between my Easter purchased stock-pile running out and them relaunching the following January is hell, if by ‘hell’ you mean ‘my only chance to lose some weight’. There was an attempt some years back when Cadbury were re-branding everything as “Dairy Milk XXX” (where XXX is Crunchie, Caramel, etc – it wasn’t some strange porn chocolate) to make Creme Eggs available all year round with the Creme Egg bar, which was a Dairy Milk with Creme Egg fondant in it. It was rubbish. As any Creme Egg fan will tell you “the ratios were all off!” – there was too much chocolate and not enough delicious treated sugar. Cadbury’s lack of understanding of the Creme Egg connoisseur saw it quickly disappear from our shelves, but just after Easter this year they gave it another shot. Creme Egg Twisted takes the Creme Egg bar, pulls it upwards and twists it a bit, getting the ratios a lot closer to an actual Creme Egg. In fact each segment of the bar is like eating a Creme Egg Mini, but with a slightly tougher texture to the chocolate. It’s not quite right – there’s still a little too much chocolate for me, though Cadbury appear to be attempting to fool us by putting more chocolate and less fondant in this years batch of Creme Eggs anyway, in the hope we won’t notice the difference. Well, I’m on to you, you… chocolate connivers. It’s still a bloody nice bar though, and certainly the pick of of the latest releases, if a tad dear at 46p.

Dean has a strong stance on journalistic integrity but he also really likes chocolate. So if you want to send him free chocolate to review then he’s willing to negotiate. The ‘contact me’ link is up there. Dean would also like to assure people that he didn’t just spend an hour or so writing this purely to wind up his friend Kate who has given up eating chocolate

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