All entries for October 2010

October 22, 2010

A football–idiot looks at Rooney

I don’t understand Wayne Rooney.

Not in the same way most of you won’t. You don’t understand why he’s doing what he’s doing or whatever. I’m just too much of a football ignoramus to understand what’s going on.

But what I can tell you, is what it looks like to me.

A man isn’t happy with his job so he’s thinking of leaving and getting a job somewhere else.

For some reason, this is controversial. Surely the right to leave ones job any time one wants is a fundamental human right? I mean, if you can’t, it’s not a job. It’s forced labour. Obviously if you’ve signed a contract it might have a no-compete or such in it to make that a bit more difficult, but you just have to follow the rules of the contract. Which is exactly what seems to be happening here. Why is this a problem?

Oh yes, he should be showing ‘loyalty’ to his club. He plays for Manchester. Which is funny, as he doesn’t come from Manchester. Not many players there do. Lots of them don’t even come from the UK. Kind of hard to show loyalty to a club when it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a name. It could be called Ahfisashda for all it matters.

He also has the right not to put in the effort if he can’t be bothered. Of course, the club employ him, so have the right to fire him if he’s not performing well enough. But they won’t do that.

I’m not that dim, I know why. It’s just utterly fucked up. It’s because they paid someone else £millions for ‘him’ and want to be able sell ‘him’ after. And we all thought human trafficking was illegal.

The figures are arbitrary, players are assigned ridiculously high values which in no way reflect their actual worth, and pay them to each other for ‘ownership’ of the player. Only in team sport does this happen. You don’t see Google going to Microsoft and offering to buy their top coders or managers. Of course not. They go direct to the employee and make him a better offer. But for some reason, sport has to be different. We have to introduce massive sums of money in to the proceedings, probably to ensure that no other, smaller clubs can set themselves up and impinge on proceedings as they’ll never be able to afford it.

But as Rooney is so wonderfully demonstrating, these monies that the clubs exchange between themselves, and that the players never see, are utterly meaningless. If a player can’t be fucked to play for a club, he won’t be any good, and liable to just sod off. They’re a created fallacy.

Aside: why on earth would any player have any loyalty whatsoever to a club when the clubs can just buy and sell them like cattle.

Try and take a step back, out of football land, and see how ridiculous it is. Watch this video and imagine that he’s talking about anything other than football. It’s hilarious. No clue who he is, but he gets all angry and annoyed about the fact that he can’t just buy players and make them do what he wants. He’s probably still mourning the end of slavery.

Of course, I’m not going to waste an entire blog entry just talking about football. What’s interesting is this creation of a fake monetary economy based on nothing but invented figure is what we’ve all been chastising the bankers for for the past couple of years. Rooney is basically a human sub-prime mortgage, unwittingly drawing attention to the fact that the entire system is silly and people are panicking as they’re worried it might collapse.

The irony of course, is that those most vociferously attacking him and defending the system, likely also slagged off the bankers for doing the same thing.


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