All entries for Sunday 06 February 2005

February 06, 2005

and while we're newslettering

Here's a blatent plug for Tuesday's comedy event from the same newsletter as the elections stuff. Do come along, its a fun and different night out (for you and your friends!)

Chortle Student Comic 2005
This Tuesday (that’s the 8th of Feb, date fans!) sees the return to Warwick University of the Chortle Student Comic competition. Those here last year may remember that we hosted the final and based on a combination of audience vote and a decision by professional industry judges, it was won by our very own Lloyd Langford.
This year we’ll be hosting the midlands semi-final with a number of upcoming student acts from the area including Simon Bird, Ben Travis, Matt Whitely, Bullet and Gunn, Ben Poole, Lovdev Barpage and William Claringbold.
Presiding over the competition will be the brilliant Gary Delaney. Finalist in a number of competitions himself, including the Daily Telegraph Open Mic competition and BBC New Act award in 2002, he’s no stranger to the world of comedy competitions. If you ever thought the term ’fantastic pun’ was an oxymoron then this is the man to prove you wrong. Think Jimmy Carr style gags crossed with Jack Dee’s could-care-less stage manner and you’ve probably got a vague idea what he might be like. Then of course there’s the acts themselves, anyone of which could win the competition and go on to be the next Harry Hill—this is your chance to see them before they hit the big time.
Tickets are on sale at Advance and online now at the same price as the regular gigs, last year’s show sold out so get them quick!

Probably the last elections post

I wrote this for this weeks Comedy Soc newsletter, those of you down with the rockin' comedy beat (err.. yeah) will have seen it already, but for those that do other things on a Sunday night (like work I guess, or the RAG quiz) here's a little sardonic look at the elections. Written, incidently, before I knew the results:

Well the elections are now over (until the next lot) and the results will be out so we’ll know who’s lost and wasted 2 weeks of their life, and who’s won and will be wasting an entire year.
A bit harsh? Maybe—but I’m sure you’re as sick of them as me by now, incidentally I hear the final figure was 60% – that’s not voter turnout, but the percentage of the world’s rainforests destroyed to produce the candidates posters and the elections booklets.
You’ve probably noticed a certain candidate going around campaigning dressed up as an extra from ’Maid Marrion and Her Merry Men’, complete with sword and shield. Like me you probably assumed this was an original, if tacky and possibly misguided, gimmick, in order to make an impression on the voting public. It would seem this is not so, as I witnessed said candidate in full knightly fair at 11pm at Crash on Friday night: 5 hours after the polls had closed. It would appear to be less election gimmick and more a disturbing fetish.
I personally found the most amusing poster campaign belonged to Kat Stark, less because of amusing policies, but more down to the fact that all the photos of her on various publicity that see her staring oddly into the distance have an almost messianic quality about them: add an ephemeral white glow and we could re-name the campaign ‘The Second Coming’ (which wasn’t intended as a gag about the fact she running to be a saab two years in a row but if it works for you…). Her published polices didn’t include ‘all union e-mails should be written in at least 5 different colours’, but I’m sure it must be in there. Interestingly one of her policies is ‘Freedom of Speech’ which will undoubtedly be of interest to the poor blogger who upon making an off hand comment about how everyone should vote for RON (that’s the option to choose if you think all the candidates are morons) for everything, found themselves on the receiving end of a hand-smacking e-mail from our current union President: see, somewhere there’s a policy that says you’re allowed to say you think someone’s worth voting for, but if you think they’re all useless twonks then you have to keep your mouth shut: democracy at work folks!
One could now draw a comparison between our elections and those in Iraq, but that would be crazy as despite voter intimidation and death threats, the Iraq elections managed a turnout of 72%, which I’d wager is more than the average turn out here. Perhaps the Iraqi fundamentalists should have dressed Iraq up as a campus instead of going with the old intimidation techniques—it would appear to do wonders for voter apathy!
I try to vote fairly based upon policy, however I do have a few rules which I find useful when narrowing down the field. Obviously too late for this election, but feel free to bear them in mind, should you not be in your final year and thus have to go through it all again:
a) Never vote for a candidate that uses ‘txt spk’ in their promotional material. Especially if it’s a play on them representing ‘U’ and the ‘U’ in ‘Union’.
b) Avoid candidates that change the spelling of words to better fit their slogan: eg. ‘Kim Kan’, ‘Spredd the Love’, ‘You’d be inZain not to’, ‘Chris-tal Clear’ and this year’s worst, ’Shaw to Succeed’.
c) Never, ever, ever vote for a candidate who is standing solely upon his ‘wacky’ hair (and there’s at least one every year) unless they are John Lumley.

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