November 27, 2005

story 2

Lily is a timid and gloomy girl ,it is nearly impossible to find any smiles on her face although she is only 16-year old , a cheerful age belongs to all kinds of wonderful things ,love friendship,happiness and confidence about the bright future.But it seems that all of these had been fading away from her since 2 years ago,her mother suddenly died of a traffic accident.Everything has changed from then on.,she became qiete and depressed .It seems that everything in her life is covered with black color.

This day ,she is walking on the compus towards the teaching building where she is going to have the evening self-study classes as usual.It is dark and cold ,wind is blowing strongly on her slender body ,made her tighten the coat unconsciously.Some vague but cheerful songs coming from the nearby residences ,she looked at those bright windows and the nice pictures through that:children are playing and singing with their parents happily.She smiled but with bitter.Ever,she also had that kind of experiences when mum was still alive .But after mum died ,father became very irritated and careless about her ,or even beat her up when he got drunk..
She turned her eyes off the peaceful and clolorful pictures ,heaving a sigh slightly.,feeling extremely longly and helpless today and expecting something unusual and unforgettable to happen .

But it is till a dull day ,just as usual,nothing special.Everyone has their own business and own friends .She yearns for friendship and love so much ,but she is too shy and not dared to talk with others and always hiding herself in the corner of the classroom..
She went into the classroom quitely and carefully ,lowering her head and holding several textbooks in front of her body
.

To her surpride that there is no one in the classroom where used to be busy situations i.e.chatting ,playing ,singing etc.She felt curious and demanded to know what had happened.£¢Maybe they all went out to attend a party and enjoy fun.she thinks .

However she just feel that something special would happen although she doesn¡¯t know what that is and why she may have such strange feelings .
She goes to her seat ,openthe books and begin to concentrate on study.
Suddenly ,all the lights go off,it is completely dark arround her .Scare is gradually approaching her heart ,making her could hardly breathe.what is going on .She wondered and demanded to get out of the room and look for the reason.But she just cannt move by herself.
Just when she decides to going out ,the rest of the class pop into the room with some of them holding a very big and well decorated chocolate birthday cake in their hands ,singing the song ¡°Happy birthday to you ¡°with their genuine and beautiful sound all the time.
She is so surpried that couldn¡¯t even believe this is true¡ªsuch kind of situation only happened in her dream and long long time ago.She is looking at those smiling and blessing faces,surrounding by all kindes of carefully prepared gifts ,and could be able to say nothing except thanks to all of them .
Now she feel herself like the real birthday princess and will no longer be the lonely pitiful victim but a happy and lucky girl because she knows that she is never forgotten by others ,instead ,friendship and love would enrich her injured soul forever and forever


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  1. What a strong contrast between her gloomy feelings at the beginning since her loss of beloved mother and warm feelings at the end.
    Nice story. Wonderful writing. Keep it goiing!
    Perahps the story can be titled 'An unforgettable birthday' or 'Precious moment'?

    27 Nov 2005, 23:43

  2. o it's lovely!

    28 Nov 2005, 12:25

  3. Another lovely story. Keep it up :)

    28 Nov 2005, 12:36

  4. You like to create a suspense, in both your stories. Again, i am attracted to read to the end.
    Only a little piece of advice. Before the final surprised is revealed, the story could be made tighter. i feel it a bit redundant.
    Still, your story makes me feel very happy!

    02 Dec 2005, 07:42

  5. It is a cute heart-warming story! I felt, if it showed a little her relationship with classmates at the beginning of the story, and in contrast with the big surprise, it might have been more efficient. It is really lovely!

    03 Dec 2005, 18:59

  6. Hi,

    wow, I hope it does. It can be difficult after such a miserable time to carry on. The ending is great because you showed that she found a way out of her crisis by her own and get back on her feet.

    Cheers

    Christian

    13 Jan 2006, 02:51

  7. This assignment wasn't supposed to be of so many words. The story has no title; it is difficult to know where it is headed/what its purpose is. Other than that, I would like to say like the rest of them: a cute little story.

    You might like to go to the following link to work a bit on grammar.

    27 Jan 2006, 23:51


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