January 31, 2006

Short story 3

Only Stars can tell
When I hurried into the hospital ward ,mother has already fell asleep .I came late here again.I take a chair and sit beside her bed .Mother is terribly ill of anemia duo to the hardship of life for those years .Looking at the ward ,almost everything is white ,horrible white ,white sheet ,white wall and most conspicuously a pale bloodless face.
Mother ,are you feeling tired ,I ask gently in my heart.Nobody responds ,only the bright stars in the remote sky were blinking continuously .It seems that they are telling me some stories about the past ,about the memories ,about mother.
The blood in the transfusional bottle is dripping ,one drop ,twe drops ¡­.
Seven oclock in the early morning in the winter and it was still dark outside .Wind was blowing strongly with some drizzle and it was freezing cold .In the empty street ,a young mother was walking hard agaist the bloody wind with her 5-year old child on their way to the kindergarten .Suddenly the young child negligently slipped up on the ground ,crying so loudly that the young mother immediately held him up and fingered his little hand with some vivid red blood .She touched the little hand softly and felt so distressed in her heart,The child was still crying ,making the young mother panic-stricken and at a loss what to do .Then ,she held him up closely in her arms and continued walking in the dark ,freezing cold street .That little child was me and undoubtedly the young mother was my deer mother.
The blood in the transfusional bottle is still dripping ,one drop ,twe drops ¡­.
In a distant place ,a middle-aged lady was pushing a bike forward toughly with a little girl sitting at the back seat of the bike.It was so hot that even the cicada on the trees were tired of singing .Sweat was dripping from her forehead to her cheek and neck.Please do not be amazed,the little girl was my younger sister,Amy, who was deaf at only 3-yaer old.How could she face her future life without listening to the wonderful world .No ,never.
Mother tried her best to cure my sister ,even if there was only a tiny percentage of success .
Persistently ,she carried her to the hospital which took 1hour to get there to receive therapy every Sunday ,no matter how cold it is in the wintter or how hot it is in the summer.Eventually,her hard work got rewards .When my sister opened her month and said ¡°mother¡±for the first time ,mother was sheding tears with a big ,satisfied and pround smile.
The blood in the transfusional bottle is still dripping ,one drop ,twe drops ¡­.
¡°Mother ,why don¡¯t you tell me to go with you to the suppermarket ?¡±I took over the big shopping basket in her hand and blamed.
¡°I know you have a lot of work to do as well ,¡±she was always caring about others ,except herself
¡°well ,it doesn¡¯t matter ,I have been used to that those years .Your father is coming back this weelend and I must cook something delicious for him .He must also be very tired these years of living in the military by himself.¡±After saying that ,there was a happy smile on her wrinkly face.
Mother ,are you feeling satisfied now :I have grown up and will go to the university next year ,Amy is an excellent student in the art school and father is coming back with his remarkable success in career .Mother ,all these outcomes belong to you ,my good exam results ,sister¡¯s prize in the national competition and father¡¯s military exploit badges.All of these are yours ,my deer mother.
Are you feeling happy and satisfied now ?I have no idea .
Only the stars are blinking in the remote sky.

- 3 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. A heart-wrenching tale. A much better attempt in that you have tried to develop suspense and have vividly brought about a child’s desperate attempts to make her badly sick mother talk. The child’s words in the last paragraph really move the reader. And the title of your story is quite apt. Well done!

    07 Feb 2006, 08:50

  2. I liked the your story, it is quite a moving story. For me this is the best than the other two.

    65 for story1
    70 for story 2
    75 for story 3

    07 Feb 2006, 21:19

  3. I agree.. It is a moving story.. I like how you use adjectives a lot.. like young child, little hand, vivid red blood, empty street. the only one i don't get is 'bloody wind'. hehe

    Story 1: 65
    Story 2: 68
    Story 3: 75

    02 Apr 2006, 04:18


Add a comment

You are not allowed to comment on this entry as it has restricted commenting permissions.

January 2006

Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
Dec |  Today  |
                  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31               

Search this blog

Galleries

Most recent comments

  • I agree.. It is a moving story.. I like how you use adjectives a lot.. like young child, little hand… by on this entry
  • I liked the your story, it is quite a moving story. For me this is the best than the other two. 65 f… by on this entry
  • A heart–wrenching tale. A much better attempt in that you have tried to develop suspense and have vi… by on this entry
  • This assignment wasn't supposed to be of so many words. The story has no title; it is difficult to k… by on this entry
  • After not having written a short story for a long time, your attempt "Father's Secret" is commendabl… by on this entry

Blog archive

Loading…
Not signed in
Sign in

Powered by BlogBuilder
© MMXXI