June 05, 2008

day 35

day 35

I think learning to think in another culture's way is just like commiting suicide and then reborn. I like the feeling of developing a new self though it is impossible and is in fact not wise to totally forget my culture. Sometimes I think of my experience of feeling in love when I was in Beijing. It is now just as if something happened in the previous life...so far away...both him and me at that time are so far away from my present self......though I still remember how I feel; it is just like a dream and has nothing to do with my reality.

I remember I liked him because I liked his reaction. He was much older than me but his reaction was always funny. I often slept with smile when thinking of how he reacted to my text...yeah right we only met once face to face but we somehow texted everyday. During the process, I kind of learned his way of thinking...and I accidentally found it was quite helpful to my academic progress...maybe it was because he was a collage teacher.... Besides, I found it became easy to talk with male friends and some older male strangers with his way of thinking. I found myself became more eloquent when talking to men! I also found that my male friends and even some of my father's friends started to take me seriously instead of saying:"well, she is just a little gril." It is interesting that people sort of like or admire people who think in the same way like themselves.

My romance ended up quite sudden and annoying. It was all because he said he was married when I wanted to meet him face to face again.  Well...at least I was still young and I'd learned a lot. I guess I just have to accept the fact that life is really unpredictable!! It's very comfortable to be an open-minded person.    

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