All entries for Saturday 05 July 2008
July 05, 2008
There's a saying in Confucious philosophy: "ming bu zheng ze yan bu shun, yan bu shun ze shi bu cheng". The saying also has developed into a four-word term: "ming zheng yan shun". I think it can be translated as "Do what under the name you get, then you can get what you want." According to the saying, if you are not a man's wife and you want the man to be a long-term companion, you shouldn't have sex with the man because you are not on the stage to do so. While working, it is also inappropriate and troublesome if a person without an proper position gives orders.
I'm reading an article written around 1910, narrating the Islam culture at that time by an English journalist. I'm interested in the gender part, which says the girls deserve the worst while the boys deserve the best. However, according to the description, girls there didn't seem to think they have the worst. Like I guess fishes have never questioned the existence of water, they also felt comfortable to obey the rules in thier culture. Inspired by the article, I then try to read the newspaper from an outsider's point of view, and I've found some features of Chinese gender relationship.
I have a rough conclusion that it is very easy for a Chinese man to get rid of the girls he don't like anymore, and that when a Chinese girl like a man a lot, she will "automatically" do many things for him without asking for return or even asking for why. Besides, Chinese girls tend to believe that they should have only one man in thier life; it's an idol to marry the first boyfriend. However, Chinese boys often believe that they will find their "true love" after having several relationships. Hence, there's always an old story about a woman has been a man's partner and taken care of him for many years but the man eventually marry another woman. Moreover, Chinese girls also tend to believe that an unmarried woman's life is miserable.
Therefore, according to my rough conclusion, Chinese girls are actually in a bad position in the Chinese society. I think to understand the classic pholosophy in Chinese culture is a skillful way to prevent the "tragedy" if one lives in the Chinese society. I believe it's the same in other cultures......but to really understand other cultures usually takes patience for me:p