All entries for Monday 29 January 2007
January 29, 2007
Sorry for the bad pun, but my hair is starting to grow at last. It's no more than a light covering, growing from the back up, but at least my head is warmer when I go out. My wig is great, but the wind whistles through it, so having some hair really makes a difference. This picture shows my mother and I just before Christmas on a good day, I would like my hair to look like this in the future.
I am still working on self-compassion. Meditation and stillness is something that is really important to me. Some days I can get a few seconds of stillness, but at other times it becomes difficult. I am working on developing a self-compassion visual image. Light and warmth are at the centre of my image. It is fun trying to capture the essence. Not easy, although I have found images that help me on the way. My energy levels are up and down. I have good days whenI don't collapse on the sofa in a stupor, not drinking, just a complete loss of energy. I find it really strange how it happens. Trying to balance my expenditure of energy so that I keep some in reserve is something I am learning.
It is so much better now that I am having the Herceptin only. It means fewer visits to the hospital. Fewer blood tests and fewer waits to see the consultant to tell him I have few side effects. I find going to the hospital really stressful, so it is good to only have to go for the Hercpetin. Even better that there are no immediate side effects from it.
Energy is building up, which is great. Althought talking to the clinical health psychologist it can take up to a year to feel normal after chemo. Mind you , I am trying to change normal to be more calm and able to be more in the now.