All entries for Thursday 12 October 2006
October 12, 2006
As previously, I spent a foul week feeling sorry for myself as I started to ache. My legs are particularly bad and I don’t manage to get much sleep. All right for me as I am not working, but my poor husband is also getting sleepless nights as he often keeps me company with a cup of tea in the middle of the night.
Not only is ther the physical pain, like a really bad dose of flu, but I feel quite depressed. I must say it is really helped by acupuncture and also the active chi therapy, like reiki. Both are about building up energy and believe me this chemotherapy uses it up. I have horrible mood swings that my family have to put up with, they are very good.
I still try to do too much when I am feeling OK, and I know I need to rest more. I had some notion of returning to work, but that has been knocked on the head as I am emotionally and physically not ready for it. I have agreed with occupational health that it is unrealistic as I am often tired and emotional, no, I have not been hitting the bottle!
Energy is like a yo-yo, and my brain is somewhere off with the fairies. Some days I find reading really difficult, even the simplest of detectives. It is also frustrating when I can’t do the Sudoku’s I can usually manage. I have to make sure I don’t start things I can’t finish. So very short term goals. I am doing a lot of baking because it is really satisfying and achievable, so our house smells wonderful and I am exploring new recipes. All healthy cakes with organic ingredients. Even the children are eating them.
Another week to go before the next chemotherapy, Number 4, so over half way which will be a relief, although I know the effects are likely to be more intense.