Favourite blogs for Lauria's blog
March 09, 2006
March 08, 2006
March 07, 2006
To examine how extent my improvement in English is, I went to London, though this would be the last time, to take TOEFL exam.
I departed from campus a bit earlier than usual attendance to the lecture, then got London around 10am. My test will start around 12.30pm so I first headed to 'Fortnum & Mason', which is famous for the taste and flavour of tea. As I've written before, this tea is loved by many people, such as Royal family…
Well, the truth is….I was just wondered what can be good suvenior to the people I owe to. The tea would be nothing special, just standard one, but many would be glad. So decided to buy.
After looking around for a while I chose some to bring them back.
Well, there's some time to start testing, I killed my time in Starbucks…...then started around 12am.
After about 3 hours, I've got appoximate score of whole, I was a bit relieved that I've had some improvement in Listening sections. On the other hand, due to insufficient practice of grammar and writing, there's no apparent difference compared with the one I took before, say, one year ago.
Anyway, some people said there's a special way to get good score on TOEFL. Even good English speaker can't get good result.
Anyway, it's fine…..I just also wanted to leave something which can prove that I have lived in English emvironment, kept myself among English. Indeed, this is just a indicater to know where my English is, so that I can more focus on my weaknesses.
March 06, 2006
Yesterday, to begin with, I played volleyball in Japanese team in Warwick cup…..The result was we first won the first game, but in semi-final, agaist Germany, we lost…...
I was not in good condition this day…...whenever I've got the chance, I always missed it….when in smash, in block, in reception…...It's good game indeed, but I was not satisfied with myself. I can say I didn't practise this week, and also realised that I need to practise more and more. I can easily forget the sense of playing sports, such as rifle shooting. At least, practising once a week would be my minimum requirement to keep my skills ok….just sustain the level….so it means if I want to improve more, I need to train regularly.
Then at 3pm, I went to Tesco to meet Godfrey; he always came to pick everybody who are coming to his home. There, I met Cherry, Stuwart, Serena and Adil. And then in his home, his wife Fran, Eva, Jil, Victor and Ville…..later come to join were Phil and Anne. There are sooo many people today, I forgot the name of dish, but Eva cooked served us with Polish dish which is like a dumpling stuffed with…..um….I don't know what, and she didn't even tell us…..
Then having tea and cake and snacks, we have spent several hours there. It's really enjoyable time for me to have a chat with some people.
At last, Godfrey prepared for me a card to say good-bye?, cheer-up? with every member's message today!! These days, I've received message card, including the one we made, so I could expect to be happened, besides Godfrey already told me he would have a party for me. Anyway, I couldn't receive the card without being a bit confused…..
I mean, this is like a dream…....long long dream. As people can't realise they are sleeping when they sleep, I can't imagine what'll happen, or even what is now happening. This is my usualy life, but only the huge difference is, these days, I have to say good-bye and it might be forever-apart…..even though I don't feel I'm going at all
It should be quite sorrowful when I say good-bye, but none of emotions came up to my mind….I am now in the contradiction…...
After the afternoon tea, I went back to campus with Cherry, as her flat is in lakeside, then I headed to the church straightforwardly without getting back to my room.
Tonight, I helped cafe connection, which serves for people coming to the church providing some snacks, some drinks, etc. And as usual? I served for drinks. After that, I joined Engage service…..
The style of engage tonight was a bit different, though I don't remember what they are…...we sung hymn, listen some story….everything in the church makes a set of completed atomosphere….
Through this year, I tried to reach the God who christians describe in their mind, but um…...I don't think I get close, or say, I felt it's quite a long way. It doesn't mean I can't accept the concept, but it's much farther than I expected. Surely I stepped forward to some extent, asking some questions to my friends and joining bible study course, but also more questions, or doubts arosed from what I've learnt…..
Well, it's interesting to seek into the bible and the core of christianity as the history proved, many people have been believing in Jesus and the God. I will continue studying in Japan, because this was my last visit to the church in the UK….
Then after Engage, I and Ville went to student cinema to see 'The chronicle of Narnia, the Lion, the Witch and the wardrobe'
It's an adoption from the quite famous fantasy novel written by C. Lewis(?), and later I heard he is a friend of Torukin(?), the writer of 'Load of the Ring'.
The context of the film was about ok….for as it's at first for children's novel, and even it's adopted into the film, it's still. I always found out that it's quite difficult job to put the whole story in only 2 hours. So the directer and the other staffs have to reduce some sequences, but have to make it comprehensive…..so I felt everything has ended with intermediate.
What makes more worse is…..the mannar of audience…..in the beginning, or even in the middle, some people whisper, and some people ate snacks so that I could hear the sound of rustle…...
During the show time, for a while, I though about why people eat and drink in the cinema…...and largely, American style? Coke and Chips in the cinema is distributed to all over the world. I really hate its way. I can, of course, see such situation in Japan as well…..
Critically saying, it's a bad aspect of human beings. Doing one thing, people also try to satisfy another desire…...'want to see the film, but I'm hungry and thirsty'.......
Is it cool way to see the film? Isn't it rude to the film maker??
After seeing the film, Ville told me that there're some indication of Christianity. I don't want to reveal all the context but….the title to the king and queen, resurection…...ya, surely there're some.
Why so many fantasy novels are often related to christianity? such as fantasy novel I've read; Philip Pullman's trilogy, and 'Load of the Ring' also include some essense of christianity…..
Well, Ville told me Torukin and Lewis are christian…..
Anyway, after seeing the film, I was a bit satisfied with the plot. Well, next time, I will try to look into deeply to look for some signs of christianity~
March 04, 2006
On Thu, international office's party, then stayed awake over the night to see off one of my friends, mai…...sleepless…..
On Fri, went to globe, was able to wake up around the globe, for I slept in the afternoon to put up with my sleep….
Then around 6.30pm, met some of my friends in pre-sessional; they organised the farewell dinner for us. Rita, Emily, Brian, Zaid and Lin came to see us, JYA. We were…me, Satoshi, Tsuyoshi, Miwa, Nami and Yuko~ Had a nice chat with them.
Haven't seen them sooooo long, and it's actually not enough to put over its gap for me…..I wanted to talk with them more!!!
And today on Sat, I went to Birmingham to see one of my best friends, Yeh-Jen, to say her good-bye…....and to buy some suveniour if there are.
Well, as for the shopping, I found some but not enough for all who I want to give. So I'll again go to busy suveniour, in the next time, in London when I get there to take TOEFL on Tuesday.
We had lunch in French restaurant~ the deco is nice inside, the price is acceptable, the dishes are tasty….we don't have big complainment on the restaurant, except for we were stuffed though we only had starter and main.
I bought some chocolate today, and some kitchen stuffs for myself. In Birmingham, unfortunately there's no good shop for tourists, so I'm gonna buy 'tea' in London; People say 'fortnum mason' is really famous and the flovour of the tea is soo great. To be honest, I haven't known it before my friends told me. This tea is also loved by royal family…...
I'll finish this today….....I'm feeling a bit sick tonight. I'll go to bed soon, though I want to go to laundry to wash up my clothes (not dirty!! haha)
I'll add more tomorrow~~
March 02, 2006
February 28, 2006
In this few days, I didn't feel well so couldn't even feel like updating this blog…..sorry~~
On sunday night, I had a headache and felt dizzy…...and on Mon, as I took medicine so felt better, though whole day I felt tired…...um…...it can be also said that just I lost motivation to do some things I have to/want to do.
Anyway, on Sunday…...
In the morning I played volleyball with some other JYA, Satoko, Nami, Tsuyoshi, and Hikaru, Ryuhei and Nozomi…..and later by accident there came Japanese girls with their host parents, so did play together…..
It's not serious game, so I can be relaxed compared with usual training….It's for only one hour we could have the sport hall to play, but it's really fun and good to do exercise in the morning~~
Then we headed to each directions, we, with Tsuyoshi and Nami, decided to play darts!! I brought a set of darts from Japan, and also bought another set here. And I have known Graduate Cafe has 2 darts board…..I haven't been there to play darts, therefore I thought it'd be good opportunity to do as the other seemed to have not played before.
I haven't also played darts at proper distance and proper height, so at first I couldn't even hit where I aimed…....but gradually It got better.
I usually throw darts in my room, laying the darts board on the chair. So I have to also sit down to adjust the height…. Anyway, we did some games, 'Count-up', just add up the score; '301', substitute score from 301 to finish exactly to zero; and 'Bowling', similar rules as bowling there are some big differenece…..
Then to have lunch, as we didn't feel like cooking, we went to Xanana cafe on campus. On sunday, the lunch is very British one, Carvery; we can choose turkey or beef with some vegetables.Having slow dishes, we spent more than 3 hours?.....just talking not special, trivial topics…...But I really like this kind of time as if the time flows slowly…....
February 25, 2006
I cooked crokette as my dinner though I started around 9pm…..it's late dinner as usual for me.
Well, I had to kind of sacrifice myself to cook it…..I burnt myself on my finger…..to peel out the skin of potato, my palm was almost burnt….
There was nothing in the morning, or in other words, I coudln't do anything…..slept until noon.
Then I made an appointment to play pool with my friends, so started around 2pm until 4pm. This time, it's a practice rather than playing for fun~ haha….. Well, we enjoyed a lot…...I lost some times, won some times…
Then from 4.30pm (In fact, it's from 4pm!!! so I was late), there was men's volleyball training. I tried to catch up with the other, and…..um….as usual? there're just enough people to do practice match, or say, there're not enough people turning up today…...
Well, in the game, I could sometimes assist the other, could points some by smash (though it's not good), well, couldn't do blocking…..Anyway, through the training today, my condition was so nice!! In the smash practice, I found somewhat proper timing, in the serve, there're less mistake, moreover I could do both good one and tricky one.
Um…..the problem is …..I can't keep my condition well all the time…...hahaa…...
On the way back to my room, one idea came in my mind.
If I return to Sapporo, everything also return as usual…....I would stay in my room alone, cook every meal in MY kitchen taking some ingredients from MY fridge…....taking shower in MY bath…...will go to lab to meet my physics friends…....all of my surroundings will return to similar view to in last April or before…...
I would feel the stay in Warwick is as if a part of my dream during my sleep…....
I don't know whether I want to go back or I want to stay here longer…...
Only the thing I can say is…..This is not the nightmare at all….so I don't want to be awake…....However…...I'm really eager to wake me up and see the bright sunshine!!
Now I want to see more worlds and also actively cut into new worlds!!
Um…...but want to sleep more….............................zzz…...
February 24, 2006
There was the farewell party organised by Japanese society in Mika's house in Leamington. Meeing at the bus stop in front of Rootes social building, we headed to Leamington with many other, JYA, some Waseda students (they may be called JYA as well, but to differ them from us….I don't know how to say in other words….), and some Japanese society members on campus.
Before that, I went to Globe cafe, which might be the nearly last one…..as I was thinking of leaving campus on Friday in week 10. It's a bit tiredsome to get up in the morning and catch a taxi and a bus to get to heathrow so that I was another idea in my mind. On Fri, I would have accommodation in London, so that I don't have to get up earlier and it would not be messed up…...
Well, I, later on, decided not to do in the way…...for no matter how it's tiredsome to go to Heathrow, I want to meet Globe members on the last Fri, and on my last night in the UK (Well, I might be back, but so far I don't have any ideas in my mind…..)
In globe, the theme today was Pancake day!! It is similar to? or same as the crape, but put suger, juice of lemon, sirup, etc. you can put anything you want….
But whenever I tried to get some, it's already gone. I couldn't even bite a bit…...um…...It's OK~~ I'll cook it by myself!!
After having a chat with some members there, I left there to head to the party.
In the party, I think we could feel ourselves at home. Mika's flatmates have gone to Edinbourgh, so only us, Japanese people there in the house. We played drinking game, in which I had to drink much….., sang Japanese songs, and just had a chat till midnight.
It's fun to meet some friends as haven't seen them so long…..Well, compared with usual social, it's do a bit empty?.....Only 5 JYA, some Waseda students and some Japanese society members…..
I know most of the othe JYA, I mean all except for me, are busy on writing essays and doing assignments…...but it's a bit pity not be able to see them.
Well, we still have time to meet somewhere at some points…..We'd organise, or are invited to the party in our rest of days in Warwick.
The time was already passed so fast and it's around 1am….so we decided to get back to campus…...However, very British incident happened. Some were catching a bus going home, but some tried to get the taxi, and I was in latter group.
First we called one taxt company, and they said they would send a taxi in 30~40 mins…..though, no matter how long we waited, we didn't get any call which reminds us taxi coming…..So we called to the taxt company…...they said they wouldn't send a taxt any more tonight…....
Second taxi company resulted in the same…..they said they would send in 10 mins, but didn't come…...
It's really unbelievable if living in Japan. In Japan, we are trusting each other, so if people say YES, they will complete their task…..
Anyway, there was no progress if staying in the house, so we finally decided to walk to the city centre to find some taxi….and we did….
I got home at 3am in the morning….....
We learnt we can't trust any transport in the UK…....
February 23, 2006
I've got the cardboard boxes and been leaving them in my room.
It will always remind me of the fact that I'm leaving soon, though it's at least 2 weeks later.
Nothing has changed yet, but I think all of us, JYA students, might listen the sound of steps of ending getting closer. Almost everyday, I have something to do, and it's often called with 'the last ~'.......
I went to 'Club night', which is volleyball practice, but is open for anybody who are interested in volleyball. I don't want to, but somehow, by instinct?, I began to count something…..like I would be able to attend 'club night' only 3 times including today…...
From last week, one of my friends started joinning this practice, though this week, she was a bit late. I met her in Godfrey's house several weeks ago, then later I knew she has played volleyball in her high school. Thursday practice is always open for anybody, even who hasn't joinned in society.
Well, she hasn't played since, so…..now I have to, a kind of, take responsibility to tell some skills? clues? to be good at playing…...um…...I'm not confident on this yet, as I know I'm still not good…...Well, it's also good for me to teach? tell how-to, as I wrote before…...a few month ago?......It can be a sort of revision for me to teach the other people. Well, at this time, it's a bit worse for me becasue I have to explain in English. It's quite difficult to tell some feelings, intuitive sense…....
Anyway, to some extent, I might have done well…...
I didn't ask her….but I hope she has enjoyed the time. Well, I can join CLUB NIGHT only 2 times…....
February 22, 2006
In the mornig, I finished lectures and tutorial as usual. Today, strangely nobody except for me was coming to tutorial, but it turned to be fortunate for me to talk with my tutor face-to-face. We've talked for an hour about my life so far, and my plan from now on. It's good time to make sure and recall what I want to do. Again I could see clearly my way I'm heading to.
Then at noon, I had lunch with Ville. He first asked me to do as we haven't had before?, so we did. We went to Rootes social building and had lunch in restaurant. I've got spare-rib and rice with cooked vegetables. It's Ok….
We've chatted for several hours till 3.30pm, later having a cup of coffee…then we were apart…
Then after coming back from library to copy some pages from textbook, I picked up cardboard boxes to pack everything up for sending them to Japan. I've STILL got lots of days to go, but I can start packing things which I don't usually use often, such as previous problem papers, clothes for summer, etc.
Once I've got boxes…...it really makes me feel sad, and feel lonliness…..it's not because I'm leaving…..but because of the things yesterday, I suppose….....
I'm now listening music sooooo loudly with headphone. I can be alone in my world where I don't have to think anything, although I know it's just an imaginary world I can stay for a moments…......I can just float in an empty place…...
At night, I'm going to visit Phil's house to have dinner together.
I've been there before, as I wrote in Christmas vacation, just before I and Ville were going to Ville's home, so I remembered the way to get Phil's house. So I decided to visit on foot.
It took 40 mins though, and it's a bit tiring though, it would be good for my health…...but the tonight, it's really cold, so I need to put gloves on my hands.
These days, it's getting colder and colder…...
There were already Misa, Mia, Anne and Phil, then later Victor came to have dinner together. We had Shephard's Pie, which is Mushed potato with minced beef and vegetable sauce. It's commonly baked in oven, putting all the things in layers.
Then, we did one game, sign; a person stands in the middle, the other people surround him/her. Then at first we have to decide my own 'sign'. It's a kind of baton-passing game?....first, do my sign, then do another's sign, so that I can pass the responsibility to another person. The person standing in the middle try to find the person who currently have that responsibility…...um…..difficult to explain. Anyway, if he/her is found, swap him and middle-person….then just carry on~
It's really simple, but we enjoyed it for a while.
Finally, Phil gave me birthday present!!! it's a set of DVDs with his hand-writing message in Japanese!!! I didn't expect him to give me present, as it's nearly 1 week after my birthday….and some might already forget it….Anyway, I was really happy~
Then it's already around 10.30pm…..we might not be able to get campus if we missed the bus….so we decided to go back…..
February 21, 2006
Everything is going to be finished….....or I rather feel, everybody seem to finish them…....
I still feel the day of leaving is far away, and still I've got enough time…..or, nothing has changed around me. I haven't even started packing…. My room is as same as usual…..Well, recently I frequently heard my friends was going to have last something…...They always put 'the last'.......
By saying so, I felt like they are trying to finish everything they have touched, they havce met, they have loved…...
I can't behave in the way. Nothing has changed …...well, some of my international friends kindly invite me to dinner or lunch. So actually, I also feel the end is not just there, but created by the other people and every other stuffs.
The goal is not just coming, but for them, they are going to the goal
I don't know which is good…...but I feel sad when I see the other is running (I feel in this way; not walking to) to the end of the day. In addition, everybody seem to be changed a lot, even compared with just a few weeks ago. I know they are busy to looking to their next dream, so we should greatly welcome those fact. In deed, I'm also heading to my dream; I now startd reading some textbook and papers associated with my interest and possible topic I'll do as my dissertation.
To be honest, around myself the pass rate of the time is quite slow as far as my nerves feels, but the time in my friends seem to run faster…..for they are really hurrying to do anything. They always talk about that they are busy, they have to finish something…..
I don't know 2 and half weeks is short or not…....Well, some are leaving in week 9, so it's almost in 10 days….
At night I heard that we were just going to drink in Varsity with some of my frirend, but it's also my and Yuko's birthday party!! Some gave me presents and a message card!! It's really happy to be hold the party, and indeed, almost all of JYA and also Rita and Emily came to see us!! I'm really a happy man as many came for my party!!
But…..I'm also sad to be honest…...
I know I'm quite selfish and I of course know the other people have their own thing to be done. They can't spare their time fully only my and Yuko's party…..but…...um….....I'm really selfish and childish…...
Some have left in the mid-time of the party…...
Well, some were still be with us until we left the Varsity. It's really fun to talk with my great friends!! I really want to make much more memories we spend the time together~ the easiest but the best thing we can do now.
We are starting to walk on each way heading their shinning future…..tooooo bright to look into clearly…...
By the way, I have read an amount of textbooks and papers from last week as I said to today, then I checked it today, then noticed if summed up all, I've done more than 250 pages of textbook and some papers about Quantum Field Theory. In addition, I've read some scientific magazines (Scientific American and NewScientist), though of course not all the pages but only the parts I'm interested in.
Well…...250 pages is just one fifth or much less…..for I have two textbooks: Quantum Field Theory by Michio Kaku and Relativistic Quantum Fields by Bjorken and Drell. 200 pages of former one (out of 750 pages) and 50 pages (out of 400 pages) of the latter one…...
Um….still on the middle, but I think I can be proud of myself a bit??
February 20, 2006
Mornign to evening, I felt so tired maybe because of the volleyball yesterday? and the physical training in my room…...
Anyway, I slept again in the afternoon after lectures. I had lectures in the early morning from 9am to 10am. Then that's all today. So after coming back, I slept to take a rest and to recover from tiredness….Well, I don't know it has worked or not….but feel better than in the morning.
These days, the weather was so changable; suddenly it got warm, suddenly cold. rainny, sunny…...I have to take care of myself!! I don't want to have the last memory of England as having a cold or in bad condition.
I have never seen 'Swede' in Japan, so I don't know how should it be cooked. Well, I quess it looks like 'Kabu' in Japanese, so tried in the way we cook it sometimes.
The real taste and the sense of dental are quite similar, so it tastes good. Well, the difference would be slight taste; it tastes also like sweet potato when cooked in my way.
Um….....it's always difficult to try new vegetable and other ingredient. I want to try every things here…...as long as I have much time…
February 19, 2006
In the morning I went to play volleyball, though it's not same as usual but with some deaf people. I did a month ago followed by britsh sign language lecture.
At this time, there were also some of volleyball members coming to play, and there're also many deaf players! It's really fun to do volleyball not thinking of whether we can speak or not. It's not big deal when we started to play.
Well, it's a month ago when I leaned the way to introduce myself, and also some easy expression in volleyball…...and I didn't revise well…...I forgot most of signs…..so at first I couldn't even talk with people…..also I was afraid that I don't know how to start talking…..Well, at last, by gesture or any other way, I could? somehow tell a bit what I want to say…....
In volleyball, we often have to say loudly, 'Mine', 'Over', 'Out', etc…..but in this volleyball, it makes any sense…...I have not known of deaf volleyball so far, so I don't know at all how people contact each other in the match….they would do some signs, but like the cases above, especially we want to direct immediately….
Also people are only guided by their eye-sight. They can only rely on what they can see…
Um…...It's really difficult sports if people have some disabilities with their body.
It's not really focused about the 'Paralinpic', always held soon after Olympic games…..but I think they are really great!! Even healthy body can't beat them frequently.
I also feel I'm not really experienced with this matter…...I don't know how to contact people, what kind of words are preferable…....
I should look more different aspects of the life and the societies…..There're mountainous sorts of thing I have never known, seen, tried…...
February 18, 2006
Haven't played pool so long (well just 2 weeks), so we decided to do with my friends. Beisdes, one of my friends has just come back from Japan yesterday, so we called him as well~
After laundry, we had lunch with, then started playing pool. At the moment, we were only 4, Mai, Tsuyoshi, Shogo and me. We devided ourselves into 2 teams and played 5 or 6 games. At first I was not good at pocketing balls, though I don't know. But as the game went on, began to recall the sense of pool, so that so-so I did well. It's really enjoyable time to do something with nice friends!!! Nothing special, but really relaxing time indeed.
We might not have much time to have such a slowly-passing-time with my friends here…....um….....
Then we finished playing pool, and we were to go back each accommodation…....but as usual, we decided to meet up again at night to have dinner, also they said it's my birthday party as well. Um~~ thanks!!
Met at 6pm, then started cooking. At the end, we cooked Paellia, tomato and avocado salad, 'Hijiki no nitsuke' and salami roll. As wrote yesterday, I cooked Paellia with seafood, chicken and vegetables, Salad, though just cut vegetables in dice stirred up with seasonings, Salami roll with avocade tartar. Then Mai got the responsibility to cook Hijiki… At the dinner, Nami joinned, so her and Tsuyoshi largely helped me cook them …. THX!!
Have uploaded some pictures taken in dinner by me or Tsuyoshi.
After that, having icecream, we've had good chatting, trying a kind of game. There's a list of sentences which saying about things which are quite familiar to the place people came from. It's a kind of silly nationality checking lists, so we tried each hometown, Kagawa, Chiba, Hyogo and Hokkaido. My hometown ( in fact I don't know where is my hometown as I moved many times. But I want to say Sapporo is) is in Hokkaido, but somehow there're many description about it. It finally took 1.45 hours to explain all the thing…....it's so tiring…..but so funny when listening the others.
Finally broke up around 1.30am…....
It's really fun to do this any times…...hope to have again quite soon. I've got really good friends!!
February 17, 2006
Everything was just as usual and nothing special there in daytime….went lectures, glove cafe and went to practise volleyball.
Except for many people gave me many messages for me in the morning, in glove and after coming back from practice.
I could manage to reply nearly all the messages I've got today…....it's a bit hard work…..
For today is my birthday…....I might expected something special happen, but also wanted to have just an usual day.
No party, no special food, but got lots of precious messages for me, which I never expect to receive. I rarely told my birthday, as the most reason is because it'd be a bit embarrassing situation…...for in this few years, I used to spend my birthday alone not being noticed by anybody. So to be honest I was a bit afraid that I don't know how to react if my friends give me messages….
Some messages were encouraging, so they also make me moved. I can say it's the best present for me, and of course it's much much better than anything else I can receive.
Words can be superior than any things…..And it's only enough for me to receive those kind, warm, generous messages for my birthday…..
After coming back from practice, I was so tired that I didn't cook anything but have microwaved stuff…....It's the poorest for my dinner in the UK…..ha~ Actually I was planned to cook Paellia(?) so I have all prepared to start…..Well, I'll have tomorrow to celebrate by myself!!
February 16, 2006
To wonder that I'm not good, I can't do it, etc…..It sounds bad, but it, in turn, means that there is an ideal view in your mind, so that you struggle to get over them. And struggling in the gap between the real and the ideal is a proof of your efforts. That's why You can be proud of yourself!
Even though it is invisible now…..definitely your efforts will bear fruits!!
From the blog I always see as there're lots of impressive words, but sometime which make me consider a lot. They always pointed out what I didn't do, what I haven't done enough….but those are really really necessary in daily life. I would little by little upload those words, though I didn't ask the writer about it…...It may be Ok~~?
What is my ideal??
It can be said some are my dreams, for example, I want to be a…..etc…. Or even some things in daily life, such as to be kind to the other people…...
There're many thing I want to do, I want to say, I want to try…...as if I'm really mean….but when thinking of the effort…...did I make enough effort for them? I just chasing my dream and ideals, but not making any efforts?
Part of myself want to leap into new world and try new thing without worrying about anything, such as my pride, my looking, expance, critiques, etc….but of course (large) part of myself want to stay in steady, stable, relaxing, no-conflicting world…..like my head is facing to the new things, but my feet are directing to the opposite way. I don't know which is good; shoud try immediately new things…..or another…
Or can be said…..there would be right time to start each challenge. If I tried it too earlier for very time, I would fail to do…..or if it's too late for it, how does it work? Is that problematic?......um…...don't know. It may be easy to complete it as the time has already come so that I've prepared for it to finish. Or it might be tooo easy…..not challenging…..
And of course the things which I think it important now might be, in the future, useless and worthless to try…..
Um…....when the right time to start??
The answer may be …... just keep going…...make any small effort everyday…..as long as I don't give up doing it, though the progress is so slow, there may be the chance. At some points, I may notice it's the time, so I can go further.
The date has changed…...What am I gonna doing 1 year later?? I may be struggling with my dissertation and application to postgraduate.
I will enjoy every day in this next one year…..it's my 23rd year to go and it's my final year in my University. I wouldn't regret on my choices…..because 'I' made a choice…..
February 15, 2006
There is one thing my friend talked to me when I told about my dream; I want to do many things at once in the future as my job. As I told before, I want to keep on studying Physics, then do Master and PhD…..if there's any post availble, want to be a professor….. though I also know it's not a straightforward way to reach there…... And want to learn much on cooking….. Skills, taste, creation, imagination….. I have to learn many many things as I'm still a beginner on cooking. Just enjoying myself cooking something I want to eat.
Furthermore, I want to expand my view on anything. I think my sight is quite narrow so I can just see what's happened just around me.
Well, at that time I told about these, my friends said that people are waiting for the specialists. There are few truely specialist in the world….. No matter how little his knowledge on the othe things, it's enough because he is a specialist…..
I agree his words…... I know it's really steap way even to be a specialist in one field of study. But is it really impossible to be a specialist in two or more fields of study, genre, jobs ??? Nobody denied it so far…....I can prove it in the future…..
Well, in fact, it's difficult to define the border of the specialists….. when he can be? and how extent he should be ? Nobody might not able to define it properly…...
This week and the last weke, I often feel strange feeling…...sometimes really want to see people, sometimes really NOT want to see people and want to be alone…....and this is still continuing…...
And such days when I don't want to meet any people…..I did see lots of friends…....vice versa…...
I'm not hating them, or rather, I like them…...but why I felt in that way??
Finally words I found when browsing websites…....which impressed me quite much.
We often remember what we've done to the other, but forget what has been done to us. On the contrary, we remeber being hurt by the other, but forget that we hurt them.
We are really selfish…....
As we can do many things, we become to forget thankfulness for the other people…...
I've hurt many people physically mentally…...by words, by physically…...
But from now on, at least, I will remember what the other've done to me and will say ''Thanks''. I want to be such a person…...I can return heartful of thanks agianst the other's kindness.