All 25 entries tagged Vote Amnesia

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November 18, 2008

Correction

Follow-up to Restructuring from The Man From O.N.K.E.N.

We would like to apologise for earlier this week suggesting that former members of the Magic Department of the Amnesia Party threw their toys out of the pram and walked on us. If I remember correctly, they actually went to do some research on the physics of animal projectiles launched from a near-horizontal position.

In other news, the Amnesia Party would like to express its disgust at how Haringey Council forgot what they’d learnt from Victoria Climbie. You wouldn’t catch us forgetting important details like that.


November 13, 2008

Restructuring

We at the Amnesia Party would like to apologise for the delay to this entry. This was caused by us forgetting to write something.

It is with regret that the have to announce some restructuring, which means we have to make substantial cuts to our paid staff. Hopefully in this time of recession, our adjustments will allow us not to waste money on trivial causes that aren’t important.

Next to go was the Department for the Colour Blind, but that’s because the returned the red form instead of the green form. In any case, most of the members of that group are now in Switzerland living as tax exiles so they don’t have to remember to fill in self-assessment forms. We’ll put them into the Department for Foreigners for now.

Unfortunately the Department for Rugs also had to be cut. To be honest it’s not like we even wanted them in the first place, but they just kept coming and coming. It was enough effort just to get them to accepting new members. They accepted the end a bit better than we expected though.

We also cut the Department for Magic, as we realised they were just creating an illusion of being worth something. Thankfully we managed to get some of the staff in other areas of the party, but when those who weren’t invited found out, they got in a huff and quit the party entirely.

Finally, we had to ditch the Department for the Colour Blind, as they filled out the wrong colour form. For similar reasons, we decided to keep them away from the Department for Electrical Engineers.

Hopefully in this time of recession, our adjustments will allow us not to waste money on trivial causes that aren’t important.


November 06, 2008

Amnesia Party welcomes the new President of Americashire

Hey Jahn,

Can you get Luke to stick this up some time on Wednesday morning?

Cheers,

Mike


Mike,

Please edit as applicable and send on to Jahn for release.

Cheers,

Pat


People of Britain,

We at the Amnesia Party would like to congratulate Senator McCain/Obama on becoming President of Americashire. It is in times like this, where [stuff] is happening, where we need a bold leader who can do [stuff].

As a forward-thinking political party, we believe that the appointment of Senator McCain/Obama will be good for Americashire, because [reason]. We therefore congratulate him on taking up this post, and look forward to engaging in dialogue on the critical issues of today in due course.

Let us look forward now to an era of [something], where our great nation can work together with Americashire on the critical issues of today.


May 01, 2008

A quick reminder

VOTE AMNESIA.


April 19, 2008

London Mayor Elections

As you may be aware, the Amnesia Party is not fielding a candidate. This is because somebody spilt Onken on our forms, and by the time we had finished grieving we’d forgotten to get the application in in time. So, we’re left to look at one of the other candidates.

Firstly, we have the incumbent, who is I think is the Conservative candidate. He is the one who is currently the Mayor, and we can’t remember what he’s done for the city. But we aren’t dead, so we can’t be doing that badly.

Then we have the other guy, who I think is a Conservative. He is the one with the really bad haircut, and therefore we support him as our second choice.

Of course, you can’t forget the current mayor, who hasn’t done anything that we can remember as particularly bad. We made him one of our choices.

There’s some other guy, but we can’t remember who he is, which party he’s in or what he stands for. I’m not sure if he knows either to be honest.

However, we have decided to back the Green Party, whose candidate is a person. We believe any party that names itself after the colour it represents must be doing good, because they named themselves after the colour they represent.

So, if you want to vote for us, you can instead vote for.


February 27, 2008

Earthquake

It has come to the attention of the Amnesia Party that there was an earthquake in the West Midlands early this morning. Unfortunately, we’d forgotten that the West Midlands existed, having closed our office there in 2005.

Nevertheless, we believe that it is very important that our country is prepared for such natural disasters. We at the Amnesia Party believe that it’s very important that our country prepares for natural disasters such as earthquakes.

Therefore, we have resolved to draft a green paper on this issue about this thing, once we’ve remembered which drawer we put the green paper in.


January 17, 2008

Important correction to Import annoucnement

Writing about web page /lblackwell/entry/important_annoucnement_part/

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

Citizens of America,

Following yesterday’s press release by the Amnesia Party of America, I would like to issue the following correction. The phrase:

A vote for Amnesia is a vote you’ll never forget.

should have in fact read:

A vote for Amnesia is a vote you’ll never remember.

We would like to apologise for any confusion this hasn’t caused.


December 22, 2007

A New Year Message from the Amnesia Party

Follow-up to A New Year Message from the Amnesia Party from The Man From O.N.K.E.N.

People of Britain,

We at the Amnesia Party hope you have had a very Merry Christmas and are looking forward forward to a prosperous New Year in 200?. It has been a long and hard year for all of us with several events changing the world’s perception of itself, for example… stuff.

We at the Amnesia Party will never stop striving for something to happen, and this year we shall throw our weight behind the Government for the introduction of ID cards as soon as possible. However, we believe that things should go one step further and that rit… rot… reticle… cretin… eye scans should be used as a more efficient form of ID. This is because it is quite difficult to forget where one has put their eyes, and it would mean that another piece of plastic which can quite easily be lost down the back of the sofa along with the passport, the loss change and the contraceptives would not be of concern. Moreover a nationwide ID system would help make it a safer place for me, for you me and for me. Moreover, we also think instead of ID cards we should introduce retinal scans so that the cards don’t get lost.

With all the best for all our followers and supporters in the Next Year,

The Amnesia Party


September 21, 2007

The Amnesia Party's Guide to a New Year

Dear John,

I am glad you are reading this, because this will help you prepare for a new year of university. Here are some simple guidelines for keeping everything OK for the new year.

  1. Make a list of all the things that you need to do before you leave home.
  2. Make a list of all the things that you need to bring with you from home.
  3. Make a list of all the things that you need to buy when you arrive.
  4. Make a list of all the things that you need to do before you leave home.
  5. Make a list of all the things that you plan to do outside lectures.
  6. Make a list of all the things that you plan to do inside lecture.
  7. Make a list of all the things that you plan to do before you leave home.
  8. Make a list of all the lists you just made.
  9. Make a list of all the lists of lists you just made.
  10. Make a list of all the things that you need to do before you leave home.

Once you have done this, you need to make the following lists:

  1. Make a list of all the things that you need to do before you leave home.
  2. Make a list of all the things that you need to do after you leave home.
  3. Make a list of all the local pubs, clubs and eateries.
  4. Make a list of all the books you need to buy for your course.
  5. Make a list of all the things that you need to do before you leave home.
  6. Make a list of all the names of people you meet.
  7. Make a list of all the lists you have just made.

Finally, make a list of all the lists you have just made.

I hope this helps. :)


March 12, 2007

La Partie d'Amnésie en français

And so a lot is appearing in the news about the Education Minister John deciding that all children from age 7 and above have to study a foreign language in the hope that it will leave British children less disadvantaged compared to foreign workers who are usually proficient in at least one language. Whilst we appreciate the principle and think that it could potentially be a very good idea we at the Amenisa Party hold some reservations.

First of all, if you introduce more things into the curriculum, then it means that children have more to learn. And if you have more things to learn, it means you have more things to forget. Is it thus a fear of the Amnesia Party that if you introduce more things into the curriculum you will end up with having more things to forget and children will therefore be forgetting more things.

The second concern is where this will be placed in the already hectic timetable structure. There are enough things for teachers to have to fit into the short day without having to make more time for enforced learning. We fear that eventually primary school children will be subjected to a timetable system just because so many specialist teachers are required in specialist areas, not just like language learning but also things like physical education, and this will inevitably drag the fun out of school and lead to forgotten timetables.

Indeed, we at the Amnesia Party don’t believe in textbook learning for those under the age of 11 as this is generally uninvigorating for this age group and leads to things being forgotten or worse still not even being remembered. Education at this age group should be fun, as this is the best way to motivate students, and subjecting them to an hour of textbook grammar is going to inevitably lead to apathy towards language learning, the forgetting of the grammar and worst of all complete apathy towards language learning.

Our final concern is that if you start to pack out the curriculum with more and more subjects, then you start forcing children to learn more and more. And if you’re trying to learn more stuff, you’ll inevitably end up forgetting more stuff. And this is not good, because.

Consequently we at the Amnesia Party cautiously welcome the measures being taken by the Right Honourable Lady as long as their implementation doesn’t do bad stuff to our children.


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