My (nearly) tragic Easter
This weekend I have been greatly disturbed, shocked and not a little disappointed. Having been for a delightful holiday in Cornwall there was no food in the house to speak of except four tins of tuna and unnamed frozen lumps in foodbags. Leaving the lumps in the freezer for more financially pressing times, I journeyed out to Tesco with my mother. It was Easter Saturday. We jauntily threw bread, eggs and milk into our trolley in preparation for the next few days when all shops are closed to allow staff to gorge themselves on chocolate shaped bunnies (surely, the very heart of the Easter message). Without a care we pressed on through the aisles, little knowing what awaited us…
A little background detail. I am (don't judge me too harshly) an only child. As my parents' one and only little darling, I was plied with all forms of chocolate at Easter time. Obviously eggs, but also bunnies, chicks, and many other completely unrelated cute animals all lined up for my delectation. After a brief time of soul searching, I learned to ignore the pitiful gaze of those cute little creatures and became heartless, nibbling and biting, deaf to their pleas for mercy. I would even leave the head for last. I was without doubt the most well practised and widely feared destroyer of novelty chocolate in the west of England.
Ten years on, you can understand my distress when I rounded the corner of the fifth aisle and note a terrible absense. No Easter eggs. All gone (well except a kitkat one which are frankly rather vile and shouldn't be allowed to besmirch the good name of chocolate). What had happened? Usually there is a glut of the things and they end up getting sold a week later for 27p with a free hat thrown in.
Easter dawned and it was not without a certain degree of heaviness that I rose. I'm twenty years old, but there was a part of me which wanted to stamp my foot and cry. No Easter eggs on Easter day, it was a travesty! What was the point of having Easter if it doesn't come laden with Cadbury's? I trudged downstairs, trying to maintain a jolly facade, when I saw it on the kitchen table. My heart leapt! An Easter egg! Nothing special, a good old Roses Easter egg. Struggling not to weep with joy I inwardly blessed my Grandmother for remembering me in my time of need.
So my friends, The moral is, buy 'em quick, you never know when they'll sell out. Oh, and anyone who had one of those Cadbury's ones with chocolates inside an egg, inside (the genius of it all) another egg, can you let me know what they were like? The sheer brilliance of the idea gave me hope for the future of humanity.
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