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December 02, 2005

Arse over Tits– SPLIT DANCE

Its the end of term and christmas is near and this means our last weekend in the Tile Hill House has to end with a BANG. Our weekend started on thursday, we got ready, drank, sang, and hitched a ride in our pre-booked Central Taxi to the the colosseum. The previous activities set the scene for the glamorous sophisticated hobbits to strut there stuff and shake that booty plus hair to some good old rock…well, that was the idea.

Our brilliant organisation meant that we arrived not at 1.00am, but 11.20. The bar was busy upstairs so went ran like headless chickens to the main area downstairs. Please take note, that downstairs there were 20 people scattered alongside the two bars either side the dance floor, as it is always a NO GO to enter the middle at such an early time in fear of looking like a loser. Following this code of conduct, we brought our drinks and decided to move to the end of the bar. This is when my humiliating yet rather amusing incident happened, im not going to let it traumatise me out of society. I will be back at the colosseum…..

By sporting my cheap New Look black stiletto shoes, I found it difficult to stick to the floor. As a result, both my legs split apart and despite Lauren helping me to get a grip on the situation I remained in the splits for a million years!!!!!!!!!with only my mini skirt as a form of prevention from the whole hog. I looked across between John Travolta pissed as a fart, and the ungraceful Vicki Pollard. In the process I lent to my side in order to place my half cider on the floor, after committing social suicide it transformed into a quater cider.

Everyone could hear my big gob laughter and see my clumsy split dance. One particular lady near died from hysterics and told her mates. Sadist- if i had witnessed such an event i wouldnt have laughed (yeh watever). What is it that is so funny and satisfying when someone makes a tit of themselves???its because they been lowered to a proper loser non-status!

Even though I remaind in an awkward position for a significant period of time I still managed to not fall on my arse, which in itself is an achievement. However, my spectacular imprompt performance sabotaged the cool image I was going for… that never works!

The Tile Hill split dance abstract slag

I'd like to thank the loo-brush for not disowning me and supporting me through my hour of need! Cheers babe.

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