All entries for November 2005

November 27, 2005

Dont pick up, pick up, a Godiva Taxi…....

Taxis

The Hobbits had the usual dose of red wine and cocktail's in a pan, followed by the Noland's, Prodigy, and the Futureheads. In a hyped up mood for the night ahead, mainly induced by alcohol. We waited for an HOUR for a taxi-the number was 02476 22 22 27 to pick us up.

(Godiva taxis firm) dont use them they are RUBBISH. When we complained the woman passed herself off as Fred, somehow i dont think that was true! She underestimated the tile hill lady's cos were be onto her tomora!!! It might be the day of rest, but were onto those 'Fucking Animals'-said Paul Valentine in the Boar. Dont BLOODY USE THAT NUMBER.

My mate, the Loobrush, suggested going to the Colosium in Central Taixi's car. This was a wise move, because although the doors were shut when we arrived, we used our charm and sophistication (yeah watever) to enter rock haven. Eg, big bouncer hugs, works every time. Mwhahahahaha.

Yes-our dreams came true when they played a number of ROCKING ALL OVER THE WORLD, bands; The Killer's (were not worthy),Baby Shambles (cool, even though Pete Doherty is a knob head), The Jam, and The Simths, to name a few…....

At the end of the day (big bro 6, 7, or 8)......fate had it's way, and it was one of the BEST nights ever. Despite, an attack from an odd Italianiano non Stalieniano man, get to spec savers is all i can say. We can remember the tunes which is a minor miracle from the lord Jesus christ!!!!!!!

Lots of Love,

ex-K2 Rules-peace out,

The Lady's of Tile on the Hill. xxxxxxxxxxxxx


November 23, 2005

Public announcement: An apology to Emma Holt


Public announcement: An apology to Emma Holt

Dear Emma,

The last entry 'Diary of Progress' was meant to be an article of humour, but it has obviously backfired. The main issues related to our obsessions with cleaning, eating, and affection. Lauren is constantly pottering around the house with cleaning equipment, whereas Amy and Emma, on the other hand, happen to be a little less enthusiastic to the point where we let Lauren do all the work.We often stuff our faces like pigs, and it is not uncommon to discover the three of us around the kitchen table having a chat with Sainsbury's economy white chocolate close at hand. We could not survive in this world without the sweetness of chocolate! We also speak of the fact that we happen to be psychologically damaged and incapable of affection. 'Diary of progress' was simply a play on words and we our both very sorry that you have been offended. It was NOT our intention to upset you, and we hope you can accept our apology.

Take care,

Amy and Lauren
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


DIARY OF PROGRESS

Chores:
9am: Lolly: i have finally started the loo cleaning. toilet brush is in hand. bleach is ready. god, the stress.
9.14am: Amy: well done you can clean faster then a concorde taking off on the run way.
11am: Lolly: i had a break for two hours to eat a custard cream. They looked so good so i smeared them all over my body. i shall persevere with cleaning now. Sigh.
11.44am: Amy: I just had a chocolate digestive, then came to check on the progress and you had only cleaned the seat.
2pm: Lolly: i know but i can't bear it, i need to make progress but i can't, i can't, it's too much…the shit of life! thanks for the encouragement amy, have u made progress?
2.14pm: Amy:I havent made progress it's going so slow like caprice on a fishing boat. I have fixed my hair straighteners, put my face on, for my pimp daddy coming round.
3pm: Lolly: oh well done, well done. im makin progress. r u still makin progress now, i need updates every two seconds
3.44pm: Amy: goodun, well done you have a gold star, my highest form of praise, plus a big mama hug, and lots of kisses, i'll get you some chocolate to pig on. You star of royal david city show the two other girlies how the cleaning works.
5pm: Lolly: 223 germs deleted. good god! It goes on and on.
7.38pm: Amy: another trillion million germs been killed Northern bint?
7.42pm: Lolly: i met a germ called johnny and the lyrics just came home to me – "ride johnny ride" on the loo brush, away…
11.55pm: Amy: Thats my girl you ride those dirty germs away, GOLD STAR, no hugs you might smell after a long hard day of cleaning.
1am: Lolly: oh yeah im used to riding those dirty sods, the dirty fuckers in my life…HUG HUG HUG MY BABY BOO BOO HOUSE-GIRLY HUG
1.56: Amy: GET CHOCOLATE OR YOUR DIE
2AM: Lolly: HUG


November 22, 2005

FINCHY BOY

OI, WHOSE U? R U FROM AMERICAN PIE?
MMMMM…APPLE PIE….

JUICY MAMAS


SYCHOPHANTS

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HUGS

LOVE

KISS

x

PS FECK OFF…..DRINK


a walk in the park…

Lolly: something to look forward to this week: wrapping up warm and going for a walk in my favourite park. The little details of every little thing there and just being in all my favourite spots, helps to relax me, restore my strength somewhat and clear my head (though the good few hours is hardly enough for that!)

This has been a helpful remedy this last term and I thoroughly recommend natures restorative powers: though it cannot remove the fundamental problems, it can illuminate the darkness for a short time and temporarily stop the tears…


November 15, 2005

WANTED

WANTED

Do you require women?

Who look like hobbits,

and live on a Hill,

Who take out the trash,

and do the cleaning,

Who analyse the world,

and provoke thought,

and like to do THIS in their spare time…................

Attend functions

Dance


Grrrrrrrrrrr

Drop us a line- and leave your name and number and were be in touch. Thanks.

Please note our following requirements:
No wankers
No boring farts
Ex-convicts
or closet gays (its just not convenient)

Another addition to The Crazy World of Hobbiton

Bins on Fire, rolling down the road, like a rolling stone…what if god was one of us?

Loo-brush and The Oxxxxxxxxx


November 14, 2005

mermaid

link

November 09, 2005

AUNT FAN….

HEY AUNT FAN, IM AUNT FAN…GODDAMN Y'ALL IM AUNT FAN…C Y'ALL AROUND FUCKERS…BURN BRA'S…LET LOOSE…LOOK OUT SHAKING BREASTS (CYNDI LAUPER)

LINDA FRENCH GARDEN AND TREVOR HORN…VIDEO KILLED THE PORNO STAR…? NO NO IT HASNT WE R HERE, THE HILL WHORE HOB HOES (STANDARD RATE…A MERCEDES BENZ) XX


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