May 27, 2006

Tips for Tom

Yesterday, I came across an interesting book called 'The Worst–Case Scenario Survival Handbook: University' and read a section of it that I thought would be very useful for Little Tom to take note of:

How to Vomit Correctly:

1. Be Prepared
Vomiting may be preceded by sweating, nausea, gagging, increased saliva, or the sensation of swelling under the tongue (or a shot of Guinness.)

2. Move Quickly
Get to a quiet bathroom or a private area with an appropriate receptacle, such as a toilet, rubbish bin, or metal bowl. If outdoors, look for a secluded area behind trees or bushes. Avoid public spaces (like cashpoints.)

3. Remove Tie or Necklace (or bow–tie.)

4. Open Collar
Unbutton your shirt at least two buttons and pull the sides apart. If you are wearing a jumper, remove it completely, if time permits. Tie back long hair (or long beards.)

5. Relax
Do not resist.

6. Target a Destination
Vomit into the receptacle (not around it). If vomiting into a toilet, grip the sides for support. (Do not aim for walls or ceilings.)

7. Wait
The first bout of vomiting may not be the last. Wait several minutes to make sure you remain in control.

8. Clean Up (yes, clean up)
Wash your hands and face, rinse out your mouth, and brush your teeth (and scrub the corridor carpet/the entire surface area of the toilet room.)

9. Return to the Party
(Or not, if you can barely stand, and will be sat swaying on a chair with eyes closed.)


- 3 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Very good.

    It works even without the bits in brackets.

    27 May 2006, 18:07

  2. Catherine

    my sister suddenly got the urge to vomit and her control was amazing! She grabbed the pint glass she'd just emptied and refilled it with her puke! She didn't miss a drop!

    It was pretty gross, but I was impressed none the less.

    27 May 2006, 20:29

  3. An impressive list Laura, but I doubt Little Tom will remember any of it when he next decides to down a mug of Southern Comfort!

    29 May 2006, 18:57


Add a comment

You are not allowed to comment on this entry as it has restricted commenting permissions.

May 2006

Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
|  Today  | Jun
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31            

Search this blog

Tags

Galleries

Most recent comments

  • Apology accepted Laura. I am hanging on every drunken breath Little Tom takes from now until the end… by on this entry
  • Lol Little Tom! Point wellmade. I hang my head in shame. by Laura Jackson on this entry
  • It seems that Laura can get absolutely trashed as well, as we found out last night. I hear you were … by on this entry
  • ew by Tom White on this entry
  • He loved it, 'nuff said. by on this entry

Blog archive

Loading…
Not signed in
Sign in

Powered by BlogBuilder
© MMXXI