October 27, 2004

snails redux


are snails evil?

Snails- useless shits that eat all the nice plants in your garden, yet the garden is as weedy as ever. the point? snails are useless and really dislike you.

One Fact, you walk slower when you think. the harder you think the slower you walk.

But the walk REALLY slow. taking the above fact to its logical conclusion snails should be the smartest mofos in the history of the universe, having time to contremplate both quantum physics and european law at the same time.

Snails coulld get a first in your exam, but they wont, they hate you and your garden, snails are evil QED


- 3 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Okaaaaaaaaaaay. Got to admit they make a really satisfying crunching sound when you step on one though (by accident of course!)

    27 Oct 2004, 09:20

  2. the other interesting thing is that they wait around on pavements on rainy and dark nights, on the exact same nights that one would be rushing around not making sure that they avoid the damn things

    27 Oct 2004, 15:09

  3. it's blatently obvious that life on earth evolved from snails, who are actually extra terrestrial organisms who crashed here billions of years ago and with a wisdom of such magnitude, they deliberately stay on the planet earth and get themselves squashed to cover up the fact that they are actually stuck here so that all the other inferior life forms don't think they're stupid and worship them as 'Ye Holiness and All Powerful Molluscs'.

    28 Oct 2004, 18:26

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