November 28, 2005

Cryfield Christmas


The kitchen 4 Christmas Song

On the first day of Christmas Cryfield gave to me a kitchen 4 family

On the second day of Christmas Naomi gave to me 2 trolley fines

On the third day of Christmas Andy gave to me 3 leopard print thongs

On the fourth day of Christmas Ann gave to me 4 bin liners

On the fifth day of Christmas Vivek gave to me 5 kitchen meetings

On the sixth day of Christmas Kitchen 2 gave to me 6 fire alarms

On the seventh day of Christmas Quoc gave to me 7 sleepless nights

On the eighth day of Chistmas Vez gave to me 8 hot chocolates

On the ninth day of Christmas Seb gave to me 9 tiramisus

On the tenth day of Christmas Poppy gave to me 10 juggling balls

On the eleventh day of Christmas Ivan gave to me 11 gigs of porn

On the twelfth day of Christmas the corridor gave to me 12 crazy men


November 03, 2005

Some Kitchen 4 quotes

“You got 21 you fucking idiot” Ivan(playing black jack)

“Drop your trousers and I’ll take my shirt off” Ivan to Andy

“They taste like sperm” Ivan

“Even I believed in Santa – AND I’M JEWISH” Andrew

“I’ve not been the same since I got whooped by a lesbian” Mark

“You’re so lucky I’m not getting physical with you” Olivia

“Quoc, you’ve got hospital corners you freak” Andy
“No I fucking haven’t, you put in the hospital corners” Quoc
“Like fuck, you had hospital corners before!” Andy
“I don’t fucking know what the fucking hospital corners are!” Quoc

“It’s like there’s a party in my mouth and everyone’s just vomited” Andy

“In the year of our Lord – twelve, twelve, one … ” Olivia

“When I became a ninga…and learnt 15 ways to kill a man” James

“Hockey’s for women you DICK” Ali

“I’d say pants were not involved…because he removed them”Ali

“Wow, the world is so much less painful with my eyes shut” Dave

“It’s like sex in a sandwich” Andrew

“I hate speaking to people” Andrew

“Ivan you hound” Ali
“What’s hound” Ivan

“Deceptive broccoli burned my tongue” James

“Ivan we’re not having a threesome” Olivia

“I need the toilet” Poppy
“Pft, I’ve pissed myself twice already” Andy

BANG “I’ve laid an egg, a metal egg” Andy

“And then I wrote the Saga of the one-eyed newt” Lauren
“What’s this, your dream?” Thea
“No, my general studies exam” Lauren

“Oh my God, who killed captain Gunt!” moves to re-arrange balloon head POP Dave

“When I’m drunk I like to get naked” Andy

“I hear she sucks, I’d fuck her” Olivia(she would like us to point this is taken out of context and was actually about snap)

“I cant listen to you when you’re spekaing” Olivia

“I’ll cover you in sauce, and throw you in a penguin enclosure” Andy

“It looks like a vine so it must be grapes” Andy

“Unless she’s just a dog and then she should just be locked up and put down” Dave

“Stop milkin’ it” Ali(genius in context)

“How big is your black ball” Verity to Andy

“Anyone seen Poppy?” James
“Um, have you checked Mark’s (AKA THE ADULTER)’s bed?Ali
“Mark better watch his ass the swine” James

“The service is great in the north and really bad in the south except for London” Mark
“Yeah in Brussels the transportation system is excellent but the buses are even better in France” Olivia
“…in the Ukraine we have buses” Ivan

“You know what, I haven’t touched my balls yet” Mark

“I’m not a simple person who can be made to come WAHWAH ARGH don’t quote that” Andy

“Do you do the guy part or the girl part?” Olivia

“I NEED their informaation” Seb(note German accent)

“I mean this in the nicest way but I don’t want to put my feet in your crotch” Poppy

“creeping chickets” Olivia

“she looks like a bottle of water” Drunk James

“Biscuits….giggle” Drunk James

“Call them Andy, save some time” Amie

“I wanted you to try my meat” Ivan

“Hooray for the feeling….eurgh, sticky” Poppy

“I’m sober. I’m sobaaaa…..” ::throws up:: Quoc

“Ivan body hair is normal on men” Amie
“Not if you live in the Chernobyl fallout zone” Ivan

“Mine’s bigger than yours Ivan” Mark

“I smell some steroids here” Ivan

“It helps if you’re obese” Ali to Mark

“I bit my finger eating toast” Mark

“Who’s milk has just come out??” Quoc

“Holly?...It’s his ‘squash’ buddy” Amie about Seb

“You’re losing your meat” Seb

“I’m not a lesbian” Luci

“Or you could both be dogs together and we could watch” Olivia

"mmmm, I love the smell of balls" Andrew

"I was just checking she reached the bottom" Andy


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