All entries for June 2005

June 26, 2005

Nike Thieves (the new must have shoe!)

Some members of the upper echelons of Nike must really loathe the company they work for. They've realised that, despite the sweatshops, many kids, young adults and aging businessmen trying to kid themselves that they're still relevant will still buy their products, choosing to turn a blind eye. After all, we all know who own Converse these days. Exploitation isn't enough.

So then, how to lose customers? How about a cynical and obvious attempt to target a particular demographic, combined with blatant theft? Why not rip off a Minor Threat album cover from the mid eighties and use it in a bid to convince the punk/skateboarder crowd that Nike is For Them.

What's best is of course that Minor Threat, Fugazi, and all bands involving Ian MacKaye, as well as the Dischord label, are the best example of a long term dedication to not "selling out". Dischord has lasted over twenty years on the philosophy of not ripping off your fans, and MacKaye is perhaps the least likely person to ever agree to allow any music or images he has created to be utilised for the purpose of advertising. Therefore, he's the perfect person to rip off if you want to gain the hostility of anyone already suspicious of big business and "the man", for it suggests that not only is capitalism enshrined in law, its chief representatives consider themselves to be above the law.

Let's hope these anonymous, brave executives succeed in the future, with even better acts of blatant corporate theft and arrogance. I salute them, and their cause.


"I'm happy to have them download the music, it doesn't bother me at all, because that's why I made the music, because I want people to hear it, that's it, that's the point…if someone's selling downloads and collecting money for our songs I would be unhappy about that but if they're trading it I don't mind, obviously if I make a thousand records or CDs or whatever, I like to sell a thousand. I don't need all the plastic. Obviously I would like people to support us, that'd be great. But at the end of the day, I'd rather people hear the music…if people lose their incentive to make music because they're not making money, they're not musicians. They're business people. Musicians don't have a choice in the matter, you gotta make music. There's no choice! It's not a fucking job description, there's no choice! You make music because it's what you do and the idea that it's sort of like saying that, "Well, this person is an artist, they're a painter, but because they can't sell their paintings they're going to quit." If they do, they're not artists! They're business people." (Ian MacKaye, 2004).

June 24, 2005

That Friday feeling (wooh)

Friday night tv: going downhill for years?

Jo Whiley: Satan's number two?

Hot weather: a bit horrible really?

Moonraker: worst film ever made?

Meg White: extremely effective drummer?

Blur: shite?

Hate is passé

Hate lists are pretty much the lamest, least original way in which to waste the space of a blogging provider, but I'm fully rage-consumed right now. So then, things I hate so much right now:

1) The people behind the closure of the humanities café, whatever its called.

2) The people complaining about the aforementioned café's closure, as if it was the central hub of every humanities student's university existence (I have never once been in there).

3) People who go to Wimbledon to sit on Henman Hill.

4) People who express hatred for Tim Henman, when it's his fans that they really hate.

5) J. Jacques, creator of the shittest piece of internet rubbish that ever existed, Questionable Content.

6) Mike Skinner from The Streets.

7) This fucking heat, that's currently making me ill, but that I will still no doubt miss in a few months time as part of a bullshit short-term nostalgia trip.

8) People who would welcome the Smashing Pumpkins reforming.

9) People who write things on online blogs/messageboards who I would love to verbally assault due to their being complete captain cluelesses, yet I can't because I'm trying to limit the number of people I've offended/pissed off in the last year to three figures. You don't know who you are, but I goddamn wish you did.

10) Basically, anyone who has done anything which has incurred my wrath recently, which really could be anything, as a single misplaced butter atom on a slice of toast would currently cause me to flip out.

June 18, 2005

Live Aid: nice and all, charity is good etc, but…

…surely anything that gets an arena full of people jumping up and down to the likes of Status Quo, The Boomtown Rats and Phil Collins is inherently evil..

Midge Ure's girlfriend moaning about Midge not getting to perform in front of the royals: DIE DIE DIE.

Likewise anyone who ever said "hello Wembley".

A nice timely reminder that the whole world, not just Britain, was entirely taste-free and ghastly during the eighties.

June 14, 2005

God help humanity

The Audioscrobbler top 10:

1. Coldplay – Speed of Sound
2. Coldplay – Fix You
3. Coldplay – Square One
4. Coldplay – Talk
5. Coldplay – What If
6. Coldplay – White Shadows
7. Coldplay – A Message
8. Coldplay – Low
9. Coldplay – Swallowed In The Sea
10. Coldplay – Twisted Logic

Even taking into account the way the chart is calculated, it's rather disheartening.

The seven questions of the day (sponsored by Current Events™)

1. Counterfeiting should not be a crime because it's so awesome? Discuss.

2. Should the release of white doves to signify a not guilty verdict be made part of standard courtroom procedure, along with the likewise release of hideous bubonic crows for guilty verdicts?

3. George Best: wtf?

4. Is Independent Woman one of the greatest songs ever?

5. Poker on terrestrial television: utterly wonderful?

6. Not being in Coventry: even more wonderful?

7. Saddam Hussein's looking very smart and dapper, isn't he?

June 13, 2005

Next week: buy guitar (or something)

So yes: I have decided that the next week shall see the end of my policy of fearfully avoiding positive choices, and instead will mark the beginning of a policy of instrument-ship.

I have tried this before, to the extent of scrawling "learn the play the guitar leanr to play the guitar" repeatedly then leaving the notes scattered about my room in the hope that my pro-active self might influence my lethargic self, from beyond the grave so to speak.

Am inspired by Prolapse, Gorky's and Bikini Kill, as well as less cult bands such as Computer Cougar. Plus of course, by the non-guitar sounds of Aesop and Del tha Funky Homosapien, et al. And the sound of That Petrol Emotion, who rule and I am sure would stil rule if I listened to more than one song by them (VP, for the record). All rule. Etc. Must learn instrument, the alternative is far, far worse.

Will attempt to compile a summery time album tomorrow of good stuff, then persuade a housemate to copy it onto cd as my own burner is a spent force. It will feature the aforementioned, plus of course others, for no band may feature more than once.

I can see my departure being delayed until Tuesday, but I will endeavour to do my best and depart upon the Monday, which is itself already over four hours old.


It only takes one slacker to attack alacrity

Yes, it appears that I've lied again, for this title is a tribute to the rather wonderful lyrical prowess of the man known as Aesop Rock (who is neither Shellac nor Prolapse).

But returning strong is the spirit of Prolapse (i.e. I've just stuck an album of theirs on my headphones), so I guess I should allow them lyric space also. In fact, that's the whole point of this.

They trickle it doon and wi sup it aw up
This mug wullny take it, am full tae the brim ye see
Ah counter ma ailin' position with brains
If that disnae stope then back tae the wife n' weans
These guys are aw lousy wi other guy's fleas
The circle is growin' wi relative ease yi know
There's only wan thing that's left for tae dae
Dissect an bisect it an' separate the strays

Ah'll clean up the precinct wae gall n' wae verve
It's thame that's the wankers
They'll get what they deserve
You keep yer eyes open an' don't let them stray
Come hell or high water this dog 'll have its day

Ah'll clean up the precinct, ah'll craze it wi cracks
The wae that wur goin there's nae lookin' back yill sae
Ah'll tread on the toes that hide in the boots
These cunts are all cosy inside their new suits yi know

Ah'll carry out everythin' expected ae me
But ah cannae very well turn a blind eye tae it
If you are the cause ae whit ah hive tae be
Then at least come oot an admit your part ae it
At least come oot an admit that your part ae it
admit that your part ae it

Ah'll clean up the precinct wae gall n' wae verve
It's thame that's the wankers
They'll get what they deserve
You keep yer eyes open an' don't let them stray
Come hell or high water this dog 'll have its day
Come hell or high water this dog 'll have its day

Excuse me sergeant ah've somethin' to say
There's a lot of people doon there
They're no doin' it the right way
Wi give them backhanders
They release yi oon loot
And thats aw this dae yi know
"OK, give me their names, give me their names
And ah'll get them right now"

"Well ye've got Healy, ye've got Brenderson
Ye've got Henderson an' McFarlane"
Get out of my office…
What do ye take me for?
Get out of my office…
It only takes one little person like you
To ruin a great establishment such as this
We don't like men of your calibre around here

Ah'll clean up the precinct wae gall n' wae verve
(unknown rant)
out! out! (unknown shouting)

If I ever see you again… Just keep from out from under my feet ok
… Ye've got aw ye're trainin' an' aw ye're skills
… An look at yi, ye're a bloody disgrace!

Prolapse – Serpico (from the Pointless Walks to Dismal Places album

And here's the good bit: every entrance is bricked up…

…goodbye, and good luck.

Yeah I lied a few weeks back: I'll be using Prolapse lyrics as titles, rather than Shellac.

Am aware that I am ploughing my own obsessive little niche with my frequent devotion to Prolapse. Don't care. They are (were) AMAZING. I will freely send MP3s to anyone who wants them, for I am a musical missionary (albeit only for Prolapse). God, "musical missionary" is such a hella lame term. Whatever.

So, the completion of a seven week period of essay/exam stress has given me the freedom to again partake in my favourite activity: wallowing in obscure bands and petty alcoholism-to-be. Sadly, from tomorrow onwards I will face three months of broadband-less existence, and thus my band-collecting enterprises will be curtailed. On the bright side, I will doubtless shortly proceed to the fine record shops of London and spew my meal-lessnessly-saved money on aural bliss. Praise be to be alive.

June 04, 2005

Chelsea make friends again

Spurs have suspended sporting director Frank Arnesen after they revealed Chelsea made an approach to the Dane without their permission.

Suspended three point deduction to now come into effect? Maybe even an increase in the suspended points as well? Or will the FA bottle it again?

In further news, Northwich have been relegated from the Conference on a financial technicality, despite overcoming an earlier ten point penalty to finish nine points clear of relegation.

Great to see the FA principles of consistency and equality being applied.

June 2005

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