All entries for Friday 27 May 2005
May 27, 2005
I thought this evening I had been the victim of a happy slapping attack, and would thus shortly be guest of honour on a Trevor McDonald ITV special.
Sadly I'm pretty sure nobody was filming it, so I guess I was just punched in the head by a random drunk.
No tabloid tv five minutes of fame for me then. On the bright side my brain has yet to haemorrhage, so I guess I'm unharmed.
Goodbye to any chance of anything half watchable in the middle of the night on Channel 4, for at least the next two months. Original comedy? Groundbreaking drama? Repeats? Why bother, when you can simply fill up the schedule with five hours of security camera footage showing the extroverted pondscum of British society being asleep.
Seriously, I can accept the fact that the moronic and voyeuristic need television that caters towards their needs. I also know that attacking Big Brother for being a horrible signifier of how widespread puerile celebrity culture has become is a cliche. It's pretty much true, as this extract from the pre-launch fever highlights:
"Eleven of the thirteen are single
Two are gay, two are bisexual
One a former paratrooper
Three are foreign
One is a former windsurfer
One has breast implants"
Still, a million and one columnists and talking heads have already debated this fact, simultaneously gifting this freak show more respectability that it deserves. It's a boring issue now.
However, it must be noted that Channel 4 is a cut above most other channels. It has a remit to provide an alternative to the existing terrestrial output. It does not have a remit to try and out-ITV ITV. It already dedicated virtually all of its E4 channel to covering Big Brother, so why does it need to dominate the post-midnight airwaves as well? Jesus H., THEY'RE ALL ASLEEP FOR FUCKS SAKE. Put something good on. Even Channel 4's tactic of flooding its late schedule with any sport it can find, whilst inferior to its policy of a few years ago that involved actually showing original programming as opposed to repeats, would be preferable to PEOPLE BEING ASLEEP.
Whoever scheduled the last series of Big Brother desperately needs a blunt instrument to the head, repeatedly. Sadly, I feel the same will be true of this series.