All entries for Monday 13 June 2005

June 13, 2005

Next week: buy guitar (or something)

So yes: I have decided that the next week shall see the end of my policy of fearfully avoiding positive choices, and instead will mark the beginning of a policy of instrument-ship.

I have tried this before, to the extent of scrawling "learn the play the guitar leanr to play the guitar" repeatedly then leaving the notes scattered about my room in the hope that my pro-active self might influence my lethargic self, from beyond the grave so to speak.

Am inspired by Prolapse, Gorky's and Bikini Kill, as well as less cult bands such as Computer Cougar. Plus of course, by the non-guitar sounds of Aesop and Del tha Funky Homosapien, et al. And the sound of That Petrol Emotion, who rule and I am sure would stil rule if I listened to more than one song by them (VP, for the record). All rule. Etc. Must learn instrument, the alternative is far, far worse.

Will attempt to compile a summery time album tomorrow of good stuff, then persuade a housemate to copy it onto cd as my own burner is a spent force. It will feature the aforementioned, plus of course others, for no band may feature more than once.

I can see my departure being delayed until Tuesday, but I will endeavour to do my best and depart upon the Monday, which is itself already over four hours old.


It only takes one slacker to attack alacrity

Yes, it appears that I've lied again, for this title is a tribute to the rather wonderful lyrical prowess of the man known as Aesop Rock (who is neither Shellac nor Prolapse).

But returning strong is the spirit of Prolapse (i.e. I've just stuck an album of theirs on my headphones), so I guess I should allow them lyric space also. In fact, that's the whole point of this.

They trickle it doon and wi sup it aw up
This mug wullny take it, am full tae the brim ye see
Ah counter ma ailin' position with brains
If that disnae stope then back tae the wife n' weans
These guys are aw lousy wi other guy's fleas
The circle is growin' wi relative ease yi know
There's only wan thing that's left for tae dae
Dissect an bisect it an' separate the strays

Ah'll clean up the precinct wae gall n' wae verve
It's thame that's the wankers
They'll get what they deserve
You keep yer eyes open an' don't let them stray
Come hell or high water this dog 'll have its day

Ah'll clean up the precinct, ah'll craze it wi cracks
The wae that wur goin there's nae lookin' back yill sae
Ah'll tread on the toes that hide in the boots
These cunts are all cosy inside their new suits yi know

Ah'll carry out everythin' expected ae me
But ah cannae very well turn a blind eye tae it
If you are the cause ae whit ah hive tae be
Then at least come oot an admit your part ae it
At least come oot an admit that your part ae it
admit that your part ae it

Ah'll clean up the precinct wae gall n' wae verve
It's thame that's the wankers
They'll get what they deserve
You keep yer eyes open an' don't let them stray
Come hell or high water this dog 'll have its day
Come hell or high water this dog 'll have its day

Excuse me sergeant ah've somethin' to say
There's a lot of people doon there
They're no doin' it the right way
Wi give them backhanders
They release yi oon loot
And thats aw this dae yi know
"OK, give me their names, give me their names
And ah'll get them right now"

"Well ye've got Healy, ye've got Brenderson
Ye've got Henderson an' McFarlane"
Get out of my office…
What do ye take me for?
Get out of my office…
It only takes one little person like you
To ruin a great establishment such as this
We don't like men of your calibre around here

Ah'll clean up the precinct wae gall n' wae verve
(unknown rant)
out! out! (unknown shouting)

If I ever see you again… Just keep from out from under my feet ok
… Ye've got aw ye're trainin' an' aw ye're skills
… An look at yi, ye're a bloody disgrace!

Prolapse – Serpico (from the Pointless Walks to Dismal Places album

And here's the good bit: every entrance is bricked up…

…goodbye, and good luck.

Yeah I lied a few weeks back: I'll be using Prolapse lyrics as titles, rather than Shellac.

Am aware that I am ploughing my own obsessive little niche with my frequent devotion to Prolapse. Don't care. They are (were) AMAZING. I will freely send MP3s to anyone who wants them, for I am a musical missionary (albeit only for Prolapse). God, "musical missionary" is such a hella lame term. Whatever.

So, the completion of a seven week period of essay/exam stress has given me the freedom to again partake in my favourite activity: wallowing in obscure bands and petty alcoholism-to-be. Sadly, from tomorrow onwards I will face three months of broadband-less existence, and thus my band-collecting enterprises will be curtailed. On the bright side, I will doubtless shortly proceed to the fine record shops of London and spew my meal-lessnessly-saved money on aural bliss. Praise be to be alive.

June 2005

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