October 28, 2005

How women can score points with men

This is a continuation of my previous post ..but this time from the other perspective. This content is also taken from "men are from mars & women are from venus" by John Gray.

  • He makes a mistake and she doesn't say "I told u so" or offer advice. – 10 to 20 pts

  • He disappoints her and she doesn't punish him. – 10 to 20 pts

  • He gets lost while driving and she doesn't make a big deal out of it – 10 to 20 pts

  • He gets lost and she sees the good in the situation and says "We would never have seen this beautiful sunset if we had taken the most direct route" – 20 to 30 pts

  • He forgets to pick up something and she says "It's ok. Would you do it next time you are out?" – 10 to 20 pts

  • He forgets it again and she says with trusting and patience "It's OK. Would you still get it?" 20 to 30 pts

  • When she has hurt him and she understands his hurt, she apologises and gives him the love he needs – 10 to 40 pts

  • She asks for his support and he says no and she is not hurt by his rejection but trusts that he would if he could. She does not reject him or disapprove of him. – 10 to 20 pts

  • When he apologises for a mistake and she receives it with loving acceptance and forgiveness. The bigger the mistake he makes, the more points he gives – 10 to 50 pts

  • When he asks her to do something she says Yes or No without giving a list of reasons for either action. And she remains in a good mood. – 1 to 10 pts

  • When he wants to make up after a fight and starts doing little things for her and she starts appreciating him again. – 10 to 30 pts

  • She is happy to see him when he gets home. 10 to 20 pts

  • She feels disapproving and instead of getting into an argument, she goes to another room and privately gets back to normal and then explains it to him in a loving manner – 10 to 20 pts

  • She really enjoys having sex with him – 10 to 40 pts

  • She is tactful, graceful and loving in expressing her dislike or disappointment – without blaming, rejecting or being disapproving of him – 10 to 40 pts

  • She doesn't give advice when he is driving or parking the car and then appreciates him for getting them there. – 10 to 20 pts

  • She asks for his support rather than dwelling on things he has done wrong. – 10 to 20 pts

October 27, 2005

Ways to score points with a woman

Now this is copy righted material from a book (by John Gray) "Men are from mars and Women are from venus". The concept of the book is that men and women were leading solitary life in separate planets when one day they met each other and decided to live together. Then amnesia sets in, and they forgot that they were from separate planets. Basically what the author is trying to clarify is that men & women are different and can live together happily only when they realise their differences and act accordingly.

This bit is probably only of interest to those who are in serious relationships and want to continue in that vein – probably not the right scenario iin a college context. Anyway I thought ..I'll just write this down for my benefit and where better to record it than in an onlnine blog.

  • Ask her specific questions about her day that indicate an awareness of what she was planning to do

  • Practice listening and asking questions. Give her your unsolicited attention.
  • Be patient when she is sharing her thoughts with you. Don't look as if you are bored ..and/or do something else at the same time. Don't look at you watch as if you have a 1000 more important things to do.
  • Resist temptation to solve her problems but instead empathise with them
  • Bring her cut flowers, small boxes of chocolates, perfume and other small gifts as a surprise (not just on special occassions).
  • When listening to her talk, use eye contact.

  • Surprise her with a love not or a poem.

  • Do little things to help her with the daily chores, if she is the one who does it regularly. Offer to help her when she is tired.

  • Compliment her on how she looks. Notice when she gets her hair done and give a reassuring compliment.

  • When u're going to be late, call her and let her know.
  • When you are out of town, call to leave a telephone number where you can be reached and to let her know that you arrived safely.

  • When her feelings are hurt, don't be defensive thinking that she is blaming you. But instead empathise with her and make her feel that you understand her hurt.

  • When you need to pull away and go to your cave, let her know that you need time to think and that you will be back. And once you're back, explain to her what was bothering you without blaming her.

  • When going out, ask if there is anything to be picked up from the store and then remember to pick it up.

  • Give her hugs and tell her "I love you" atleast a couple of times a day. Display affection in public.

  • Make the bed, clean up the bathroom, empty the trash, wash the car (her car and urs).

  • Wash before having sex ! and/or put on a cologne that she likes

  • Take her side when she is upset with someone

  • Make a point of cuddling or being affectionate with her without being sexual

  • Take her to her favorite shows, restaurants.

  • Be understanding when she is late or decides to change her outfit.

  • Pay more attention to her than to others in public.

  • Buy her an outfit/clothes.

  • Take short romantic getaways.

  • Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it from time to time.

  • Drive slowly and safely, respecting her preferences.

  • Notice when she is upset or tired and offer to help. Notice how she is feeling and comment on it – "you look happy/sad today?" , "You look tired", "How was your day?" , "How are you feeling?".

  • Take her dancing or take dancing lessons together.

  • Treat her in ways that you did at the beginning of your relationship.

  • Offer to do things for her ..like fixing broken things, change light bulbs, carry heavy boxes, carry groceries, wash dishes.

  • When she prepares a meal, compliment her cooking.

  • Touch her with your hand sometimes when you talk to her.

  • When listening to her, reassure her that you are interested by making little noises like ah ha, uh-huh, oh, mmhuh and hmmmm.

  • Give her a kiss and say good bye when u leave.

  • Laugh at her jokes and humor.

  • Verbally say thank you when she does things for you.

  • Don't answer the phone at intimate moments together.

  • Negotiate in a manner that shows her that you want her to get what she wants and you also want what you want. Be caring but don't be a martyr.

  • Ler her know that you missed her when you went away.

  • Ask her to add her thoughts to this list.

And last but not the least

  • For heaven's sake dude, leave the bathroom seat down.

September 19, 2005

What Now?

I guess, it is time to say good bye to Warwick. I've completed my course and now just waiting for the final results by Nov and graduation by Jan.

And as I write this blog, I am indeed feeling a little emotional about leaving the uni. Even though I stayed on campus for less than an year, it felt like a home to me. I get that comforting sense of belonging and fellow feeling whenever I'm there…just walking or driving along the winding roads across the uni.

I came to warwick ..resigning a very good job in which I had been working for the previous 4 years. So walking away from that comfort zone, the well paid job and direct into an academic life amidst students quite younger than me and from vastly different cultural backgrounds was a big change for me not to mention a significant hole in my pocket. But I've to say that it was exciting time and I have enjoyed every moment of it. And I'll always look back to my time here as something worth the time, effort & money – with pride and a sense of achievement and adventure. It will remain for the rest of my life as a special memory.

I'll miss the lectures, the group works, the cricket matches, the badminton club events, the parties, the student cinema, the art center, the assignments, the dissertation, my friends/coursemates/flat mates, the tocil kitchen/room, the summer barbecues, the learning grid, the career service, and perhaps most importantly – DC++. Oh dear, there are so many fond memories…

My best wishes to all those still doing their course enduring academic rigours and enjoying student life and to all those who have finished and embarking on a more serious but probably as adventurous and exciting journey of life.

Perhaps I'll get a chance to meet you all again in this life time or the next.

"parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good night till it be morrow."

Adios Amigos !

August 18, 2005

Do you want to see the moon – Up, Close & Personal?

Writing about web page http://www.wired.com/news/space/0,2697,68495,00.html

Yes, it is finally happening. The company 'Space Adventures', in collaboration with the Federal Space Agency of the Russian Federation, is planning to take travellers around the far side of the moon in a Russian Soyuz TMA spacecraft. Apparently the far side of the moon is much more attractive than the near side because it has got more impact craters from Asteroids, Meteorites and other objects in the deep space.

They are offering 2 package deals.

1) A 5 1/2 day lunar flight and up to 21 days at the International Space Station.
2) A 9 day trip with 3 days of flight on a low-Earth orbit and 6 days around the moon


Hold on, dont' start packing ur bags yet. You have to wait for 3 to 4 years before they can confirm the trip. And start saving today to pay for the $100 million that they are charging for it.

If this trip is a success ..they are expecting the next one to land on the moon. Now that'll be something.

August 07, 2005

Do u believe in Karma?

August 05, 2005

Promises to keep

How hard is it to bare one's soul to the world ! I'm too bloody reserved :-)

The last couple of days have been the happiest of my life. I got a job. More than getting the job, there is a certain pride in overcoming a significant challenge. And this has been quite a tough peak to conquor. Life is quite strange though, the moment I got to the top, I have started looking for the next peak, wondering about it ..worrying over it ! But every few mintues, I look down from the top of this one and sigh happily at having reached it ..so quickly and so unexpectedly.

If only, I can just be in my dreams and enjoy my moment of sun shine for a long long time. Alas there is so much work to be done and so little time.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I've promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep." (Robert Frost)

July 31, 2005

Selling your version of the World through the Internet

Writing about web page http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn7757&feedId=online-news_rss20

"Researchers at OpenNet, a joint venture of the University of Toronto in Canada, Harvard Law School and the University of Cambridge, have found that China's Communist Party-run internet service providers (ISPs) routinely filter out content they deem politically unacceptable. They also appear to hire fake commentators who post pro-government statements on blogs and message boards.

By remotely accessing computers within Iran via a number of routes, OpenNet also found that 34 per cent of the 1465 weblinks they tried were blocked. Some 15 per cent of blogs and 30 per cent of news sites were inaccessible – as were 100 per cent of porn sites."

Sourced from the NewScientist web page – link

I knew history is written by the winners. But now fake commentators who blog !!!! ..wow what next ?

Propoganda has gone high tech ;-). Watch out, learn to sift through the rubbish and read between the lines !! Maybe Andy Grove was referring to the 21st century society when he said "Only the paranoid survives".

July 30, 2005

Why do people hate consultants?

I do get the feeling through blogs, chats, discussions etc that there is a general absence of goodwill towards consultants among many of my friends. There is a tendency to brand consultants as greedy self serving salesmen who use bombastic language to sell an idea that could be pure nonsense or commonsense and then get paid a fortune for it.

I hesitate to fully buy into that theory. if consultents are not value for money, why do they get paid so much. Why are consultants and consulting companies thriving – especially Business and IT consultancies. And being an aspiring consultant myself, I'm pretty upbeat about the good that consultants can potentially do.

But why is there a sarcastic snigger when one talks about consultants ? Are they angels ? Or wolves in designer clothing?

About Students Partnership Worldwide

Hello all,

Can any of you give me an informal opinion on Students Partnership Worldwide (SPW). Post your comments or send me an email – J.J.Philip@warwick.ac.uk

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