All entries for Thursday 27 October 2005
October 27, 2005
Now this is copy righted material from a book (by John Gray) "Men are from mars and Women are from venus". The concept of the book is that men and women were leading solitary life in separate planets when one day they met each other and decided to live together. Then amnesia sets in, and they forgot that they were from separate planets. Basically what the author is trying to clarify is that men & women are different and can live together happily only when they realise their differences and act accordingly.
This bit is probably only of interest to those who are in serious relationships and want to continue in that vein – probably not the right scenario iin a college context. Anyway I thought ..I'll just write this down for my benefit and where better to record it than in an onlnine blog.
- Ask her specific questions about her day that indicate an awareness of what she was planning to do
- Practice listening and asking questions. Give her your unsolicited attention.
- Be patient when she is sharing her thoughts with you. Don't look as if you are bored ..and/or do something else at the same time. Don't look at you watch as if you have a 1000 more important things to do.
- Resist temptation to solve her problems but instead empathise with them
- Bring her cut flowers, small boxes of chocolates, perfume and other small gifts as a surprise (not just on special occassions).
- When listening to her talk, use eye contact.
- Surprise her with a love not or a poem.
- Do little things to help her with the daily chores, if she is the one who does it regularly. Offer to help her when she is tired.
- Compliment her on how she looks. Notice when she gets her hair done and give a reassuring compliment.
- When u're going to be late, call her and let her know.
- When you are out of town, call to leave a telephone number where you can be reached and to let her know that you arrived safely.
- When her feelings are hurt, don't be defensive thinking that she is blaming you. But instead empathise with her and make her feel that you understand her hurt.
- When you need to pull away and go to your cave, let her know that you need time to think and that you will be back. And once you're back, explain to her what was bothering you without blaming her.
- When going out, ask if there is anything to be picked up from the store and then remember to pick it up.
- Give her hugs and tell her "I love you" atleast a couple of times a day. Display affection in public.
- Make the bed, clean up the bathroom, empty the trash, wash the car (her car and urs).
- Wash before having sex ! and/or put on a cologne that she likes
- Take her side when she is upset with someone
- Make a point of cuddling or being affectionate with her without being sexual
- Take her to her favorite shows, restaurants.
- Be understanding when she is late or decides to change her outfit.
- Pay more attention to her than to others in public.
- Buy her an outfit/clothes.
- Take short romantic getaways.
- Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it from time to time.
- Drive slowly and safely, respecting her preferences.
- Notice when she is upset or tired and offer to help. Notice how she is feeling and comment on it – "you look happy/sad today?" , "You look tired", "How was your day?" , "How are you feeling?".
- Take her dancing or take dancing lessons together.
- Treat her in ways that you did at the beginning of your relationship.
- Offer to do things for her ..like fixing broken things, change light bulbs, carry heavy boxes, carry groceries, wash dishes.
- When she prepares a meal, compliment her cooking.
- Touch her with your hand sometimes when you talk to her.
- When listening to her, reassure her that you are interested by making little noises like ah ha, uh-huh, oh, mmhuh and hmmmm.
- Give her a kiss and say good bye when u leave.
- Laugh at her jokes and humor.
- Verbally say thank you when she does things for you.
- Don't answer the phone at intimate moments together.
- Negotiate in a manner that shows her that you want her to get what she wants and you also want what you want. Be caring but don't be a martyr.
- Ler her know that you missed her when you went away.
- Ask her to add her thoughts to this list.
And last but not the least
- For heaven's sake dude, leave the bathroom seat down.