December 02, 2005

The Stella Awards

Writing about web page

Via Popbitch: The Stella Awards are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck, who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds for millions.

This year's runners up are:-

  • Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas. Won $14,500 after being bitten on the arse by his neighbour's beagle. Mr Williams was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun at the time.

  • Amber Carson was paid $113,500 by a Philadelphia restaurant after she broke her back from slipping on a soft drink… which she had just thrown at her boyfriend.

  • Kara Walton of Delaware sued a nightclub and won $12,000 after falling from a bathroom window and knocking out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.

But the winner is:-

  • Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma who purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago. On her first trip, she drove on the freeway, set the cruise control at 70 mph and went out back to make a sandwich. She crashed. Then sued for the manual not advising her not to do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company then changed their manuals on the basis of this suit.

- 6 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

[Skip to the latest comment]
  1. If anyone ever asks, "what is the greatest weapon at humanity's disposal," the answer is clearly stupidity.

    02 Dec 2005, 15:23

  2. Absolutely.

    02 Dec 2005, 15:56

  3. Paul Bonsall

    Popbitch? There's a more reliable take at this link
    Litigious nonesense is a blight, but nothing saps your faith in humanity like a good old urban legend, eh?

    02 Dec 2005, 16:48

  4. John Dale

    Er, yes; that's why I included the link to the actual Stella Awards site, not to the chain letter. To clarify; these examples aren't real, but the examples found at Stella Awards are. These ones are meant to be funny, not true; sorry if that wasn't clear.

    02 Dec 2005, 16:59

  5. naz

    Thanks to these people a packet of nuts warns us "This product may contain nuts

    09 Dec 2005, 19:45

  6. Steve

    What about these?

    The Anti-Stella Awards (2007)
    By now, you have heard of the “Stella” awards, given each year
    for the most ridiculous lawsuits supposedly filed in the
    preceding year.

    Here are a list of the crazy judges and courts
    throwing out legitimate cases and the insane reasons they gave
    for them. You didnt think the craziness was always on the side
    of the lawsuit filers, did you?

    1. Mrs. Kenneth Bruce sued her doctor for malpractice
    after all, he left a surgical clamp and three sponges inside her
    when he finished his operation on her in Dallas in January 2007.
    His defense? The patient had signed a release and waiver,
    promising not to sue. The problem is that Bruce never signed the
    release because the nurse forgot to ask her to before surgery.
    The Court ruled that if she had been asked, she would have
    signed, hence: She constructively signed. Suit thrown out.

    2. David Richards bought a handgun in Memphis and left it
    sitting on his living room table. During an argument with a
    friend, his friend picked it up and shot him with it. Richards
    sued the shooter (you thought he was going to sue the gun
    manufacturer, didnt you?) But a judge threw out the lawsuit in
    February, stating that Richards had assumed the risk of gun
    ownership and “everyone knows” that guns are more likely to be
    used against their owners and family members than anyone else.

    3. Tim Stevens went to a fast food restaurant and bought a
    cup of coffee for himself and large diet soda for his friend. A
    moment later, his friend noticed that the soft drink tasted
    funny. It was laced with cleaning solution. His friend sued the
    restaurant, but a judge in Kalamazoo threw out the case in April
    because, “You didnt buy the drink from [the restaurant], it was
    a gift from your friend. Sue him.”

    4. Todd Ryan of Atlanta came home from work this past
    February, just in time to see his next door neighbor chopping
    down the trees that ran near the property line between their
    houses three feet into Ryans property. In all, the neighbor
    cut down 7 trees, all over 100 feet tall. When Ryan sued, the
    Judge asked him if there were “No Trespassing” or “Private
    Property” signs on the trees. When Ryan told him there were no
    such signs on his trees or anywhere else in his subdivision
    the judge threw out the case. “How was he supposed to know whose
    trees they were?” the judge asked.

    5. Thomas Marks of Cincinnati bought a 2007 Corvette brand new
    from a dealer. Shortly after purchase, he noticed the heater
    didnt work. He later found out that the dealer—to repair
    another cooling system—had stripped the heater core and a few
    other parts out of this Corvette before it was sold to Marks and
    forgotten to
    replace them. When he returned to the dealer, they told him it
    was a “warranty” problem; GM obviously told him it was a dealer
    problem. When Marks sued, the Judge asked him to show in the
    documentation where he was promised a “heater.” While Marks
    could point out the options he was promised, he could not point
    to a heater (any more than he could point to a steering wheel or
    a glove box) on the purchase agreement. Case dismissed.

    04 Nov 2007, 16:38

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