November 24, 2005
November 16, 2005
Keep ur eye on the blue thing in the door!
Ha ha, was reading the most hilarious blog today. It was this 14 yr old Welsh girl talking about the G-Unit gig shes been to and how she was down the police station because she had been done for drink driving! I was slightly surprised to find a list of jokes about chavs alongside her numerous Playboy logos, but the jokes were funny all the same: *
1. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α ¢нαν ιи α вσχ؟ ιииιт.
2. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α ¢нαν ιи α fιℓιиg ¢αвιиєт؟ ѕσятє∂
3. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α ¢нαν ιи α вσχ ωιтн α ℓσ¢к σи ιт؟ ѕαfє.
4. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ αи єѕкιмσ ¢нαν؟ ιииυιииιт.
5. ωну αяє ¢нανѕ ℓιкє ѕℓιикιєѕ؟ тнєу нανє иσ яєαℓ υѕє вυт ιт’ѕ gяєαт тσ ωαт¢н σиє fαℓℓ ∂σωи α fℓιgнт σf ѕтαιяѕ!
6. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α ¢нανєттє ιи α ωнιтє тяα¢кѕυιт؟ тнє вяι∂є.
7. уσυ’яє ιи уσυя ¢αя αи∂ уσυ ѕєє α ¢нαν σи α вιкє, ωну ѕнσυℓ∂ уσυ тяу иσт тσ нιт нιм؟ ιт мιgнт вє уσυя вιкє.
8. ωнαт’ѕ тнє ∂ιffєяєи¢є вєтωєєи α ¢нαν αи∂ α ¢σ¢σиυт؟ σиє’ѕ тнι¢к αи∂ нαιяу, тнє σтнєя’ѕ α ¢σ¢σиυт.
9. ωнαт’ѕ тнє fιяѕт qυєѕтισи αт α ¢нαν qυιz иιgнт؟ ωнαт уσυ ℓσσкιи αт؟’
10. нσω ∂σ уσυ gєт 100 ¢нανѕ ιитσ α ρнσиє вσχ؟ ραιит тняєє ѕтяιρєѕ σи ιт.
11. тωσ ¢нανѕ ιи α ¢αя ωιтнσυт αиу мυѕι¢. ωнσ’ѕ ∂яινιиg؟ тнє ρσℓι¢є
12. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α ¢нαν ωιтн 9 g¢ѕє’ѕ؟ α ℓιαя.
13. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ѕαу тσ α ¢нαν ωιтн α נσв؟ ¢αи ι нανє α вιg мα¢ ρℓєαѕє
14. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ѕαу тσ α ¢нαν ιи α ѕυιт؟ ωιℓℓ тнє ∂єfєи∂αит ρℓєαѕє ѕтαи∂
15. ωнαт ∂σ υ ¢αℓℓ α киιfє ιи ¢нανιℓℓє؟ єχнιвιт α
16. ωну ιѕ 3 ¢нανѕ gσιиg σνєя α ¢ℓιff ιи α иσνα α ѕнαмє؟ α иσνα ѕєαтѕ 4
17. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α 30 уєαя σℓ∂ ¢нανєттє؟ gяαииу.
18. нσω мαиу ¢нανѕ ∂σєѕ ιт тαкє тσ ¢нαиgє α ℓιgнтвυℓв؟ σиє, тнєу’ℓℓ ѕ¢яєω αиутнιиg.
19. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ 100 ¢нανѕ αт тнє вσттσм σf α яινєя؟ α ѕтαят.
20. нσω мαиу ¢нανѕ ∂σєѕ ιт тαкє тσ ¢ℓєαи α fℓσσя؟ иσиє, ”тнαт’ѕ ѕσмє υννєя gєєzєяѕ נσв
23. ωнαт ∂σ уσυ ¢αℓℓ α ¢нαν αт ¢σℓℓєgє؟ тнє ¢ℓєαиєя.*
However, the punchline came at the end as she moans about these jokes:
“dnt no if u found it funny cuz i sertainly didnt :( was very disapointed to see this on some 1ns space its jus so not funny takin the piss outta chavs”
Ha ha, had a laugh a minute on this blog!!
November 14, 2005
October 26, 2005
October 24, 2005
Writing about web page http://www.jobpredictor.com
Just a little advice for my friends with this useful careers website:
Eleanor O'Donnell your ideal job is a Prostitute
See, you could even write your own book like this nice girl, critically acclaimed 'A STUNNER!'
Anna, your ideal job is a traffic warden
Well ud get to piss people off all day, think that would suit you down to the ground! Anyway, looks like fun!
Karl Nikklas, your ideal job is a Drag Queen
He he, I do believe i have some pics on here of you dressed as a girl, uve got the diva quality and the experience, no prob getting gigs, can I be your makeup artist??
Benjamin pearson, your ideal job is an office bike
Have NO idea what this is but sounds like it would suit you down to the ground!
Beatrix Martinez Gatell, you ideal job is a concrete mixer
Forget about film, feminism and faires, this IS GUARANTEED to be your ideal job, at least you get to meet lots of half naked boyz – but remember to always make sure they put a hat on their hard head!!! (deliberate play on words!)
Rahcel Hull, your ideal job is the rear end of a panto cow
Oops a DAISY!! Sorry Rach, maybe its destiny but at least you have another year to think about careers, maybe jobpredictor.com will have changed its mind by then – heres hoping!!
Well, my ideal job is a chef, so with a lack of better advice from uni careers people, as we speak I am filling out applications for Mc Donalds, Burger King, Whimpy and KFC, but it appears im over qualified, they are only looking for microwave operators – well f@*%k them then!
October 22, 2005
October 21, 2005
OOOH Lordie, what a quest!
The story began this evening at 8.15 pm, our obsession for the OC took over our senses! Rachel and me decided that we MUST watch some, we had cake and wine, but no OC. Now, we've gone a couple of days without watching any because we had episodes up to 219 and had watched them all.
After phoning the blockbusters in Leamington and Kenilworth and all to no avail, we decided to turn up at Red Fern to rinse Tammy and Zoe's DC++. After ringing the bell continuously it seemed that they had better things to do than obsess over he OC. And so, I decided to call Ambrose, from the first year who I have only spoken to a few times. However, we thought we were in luck, he was in, so we bumbled over to Rootes to download it, armed with blank CD's. But, damn and blast it, we couldn't work it, even after raiding various Rootes kitchens and enlisting a guy who seemed to be clued up, DC wasn't working (gone are the olden days when we could always count on good ol' Dc!)
Determined not to give up there, we texted Andy to get Jess' number (who I had on good authority, had the missing episodes!) Her housemate answered as she was at the shop–awkward conversation, I sounded like a complete OC junkie, the conversation was along these lines, after intros I said 'I know for a fact that you have the oc episodes that we're dependent on, Jess said I could copy them sometime but what she doesn't know is that I'm on m way to yours now–hope thats ok!' He was very friendly and helpful so we dashed across town and when we arrived he had already started copying them for us–such a nice guy!! I think he understood our pain, empathy was our friend tonight!!
Ran out of petrol on the way home but luckily Rach had her wallet and a petrol station was at hand. So here we are, two hours and many miles later, with our wine, cake and episode 220–peace at last…so thats us set up for the night and tomorrow morning, very happy compared to how desperate we were earlier, this is a little taste of just how bad that felt:
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the OC lovers come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message our OC dreams are Dead,
Put crépe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
OC was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought that the sunshine would last forever: 'I was wrong'
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
But no, complete happiness has been restored to our lives!!
Mmmmmwwwwaaaahhhh, we love you all!!
October 18, 2005
Day 2 and the gummy bear is growing ever larger, by the minute, as we speak. Sooner or later he's gonna get too big for his 1/2 pint glass cage and im going to have to re-house him! he's growing on me too, hes even cuter and distorted so I don't want to eat him anymore!!
His name is Billy-Bob!