All entries for Friday 30 October 2009

October 30, 2009

Musings while on a train.

I have been on many trains of late and luckily(?) remembered to write some of my most recent thoughts down.

As a Primary School Teacher I don't often get to the use the language associated with University and, more specifically, my Politics degree training. So I thought I'd have a go at seeing how this language could be used (abused) in a Primary Classroom context.

(To be read i the voice of Joyce Grenfall)

"Billy et al. stop chattering!"

"Fran. You do not have hegenomy over the crayons. Share please."

Worksheets.

"Anne, you know the answer to question 1; Ben, you know the answer to question 2; Cate and Deirdre likewise 3 and 4. If you set out the worksheets using the division of labour model you will get it finished more quickly and be able to go out to play.

Henry, you know all of the answers yourself and you can wear the neo liberal hat this afternoon. What? You don't think it's fair that they'll get the same marks as you in half the time? Aaaah, Henry, you see, while they remain unable to complete the whole worksheet, you; my dear boy, will do better in the test.

Pardon? You'd rather go out to play now? Think of your future Henry! If you forgo playtime and complete your sheet you can have all of lunchtime in which to frolic with your friends. What's that? What if it rains? I don't know Henry, stop asking questions. I have too much paperwork to complete in order to proceed down my own chosen career path. What Henry? Is that why no one is in the staffroom Henry? What do you mean am I happy, Henry?! Don't ask silly questions boy, if you are going to do well in that test you are going to have to forget happiness and complete that worksheet, otherwise you will have to stay in at lunchtime too.

Eh? You've seen a gap in the market Henry? What do you mean you'd like to go back to middle table and write the date on each worksheet for them Henry? What a waste dear child! You're too bright to be merely writing a date over and over again and wasting time with playtimes. You don't know what's best for you. Think of your future Henry! Now go and sit on top table and complete your worksheet and show me how good you are. Good boy."


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