January 07, 2009

Gruntled?

Disgruntled- adj sulky or discontented: the disgruntled home supporters. Disgruntlement n (Collins Paperback Dictionary)

Thunk for the day- adj gruntled- cheerful and contented: the gruntled home supporters. Gruntlement n. (Me)

Also, do we have tear bladders? If not, how can that much water be produced all of a sudden?


January 02, 2009

St. Peter's, Wolverhampton, New Year's Eve.

Haven’t shared any photos for ages. Chuffing Facebook.

I’m glad I didn’t use a flash for this one!

St. Peter

Less so for this one…

Castellations.

Aaah, the flash. Clever girl.

With flash. New year

And again.

New year

Saving grace, Z shaped lights!

Look at the Z shaped lights!

New Cross, New Year’s Eve. Check out the headlights! I suspect the length of the headlights could tell me something about the shutter speed or digital camera equivalent. If I knew the speed of the car. I don’t. I also clearly know nothing about digital photography!

New Cross, New Year

December 30, 2008

Sad prediction of Woolworths' demise etc.

Follow-up to You couldn't make it up! from Blogito Ergo Sum.

As members of my wider family work for Woolies I am the last to make light of a sad situation. However, seeing as everyone else has, here we go!

As I wrote in May, Woolworths didn't half (!) sell some random things. I for one can't remember going in Woolworths on purpose for years, merely finding myself wandering around in there on the off chance of seeing something I hadn't realised I wanted but was cheap enough to fritter away pocket change on. I think casual foot fall plus nostalgia was probably Woolworths' primary marketing strategy for years. However, they also needed a hook, for example records or furniture for people to purchase, thus making a steady profit, before they filled the spaces in their basket with cheap toys 'n' pick 'n' mix. A straw poll of my friends suggests that no one has been to Woolies on purpose for years, except as a thoroughfare to get from Dudley Street to the Mander Centre and even then a route only attempted by foolhardy rock climbers who took their lives into their own hands tackling those evil stairs only to be greeted with a wall of solid heat and the need to escape to the fresh air on the other side ASAP. Foot traffic alone was not gonna save Woolies, especially the ones that weren't even a slightly uncomfortable corridor.

The last few years had seen its final thrashings, which since I had regularly used my wiles as a child to garner regular pic 'n' mix and cheap 'Mommy, you always buy me something from Wednesfield' toys, was sad to watch. Weird sub licensed DVDs with pictures of the originals on the front? Yes, I've always wanted one of those... I'd rather whinge about not being able to afford proper box sets. The strange few months where they desperately tried to mimic Argos' successful 'theatre of the poor' mode, whilst maintaining their original way of doing things. It was time to jump one way or the other with both feet and they quibbled. Who wants weird half products/ services? From a shop that you were only in by accident anyway? Unwanted supply + no demand= no business. Oh, but it seems all of their decent supply was going to Zavvi. Ooops. Maybe they should have shut their doors and become a supplier? Seems they were good at that and they should have left the selling to shops that specialised in ONE THING! Were the Woolies business managers skiving Economics 101 along with their future accountants, chucking pennies down a wishing well?

In other news, I take back my remarks about no one wanting a tape deck anymore, as my family upgraded the stereo in the kitchen and I became all nostalgic about anything to tape recording. Must find modern, computer based equivalent so can make proper mash ups....

Finally, I have recently developed a problem with the ghost of Christmas present, which will be the subject of my next rant. Make merry folks, Jodx


December 23, 2008

O Little Town House of the Rising Sun

[media] [/media]

Go to the Youtube page to find other such gems as Smells Like the Night Before Christmas. Who came first, Bob Rivers or Weird Al? To some of you older folk out there this may be a shockingly naive question. However, as I've only just discovered Bob Rivers having accidentaly tuned into BBC WM and sticking with what I thought was Rising Sun, (your Honour) I need to find this out.

Merry Christmas everyone!


December 07, 2008

Ingenuity FAIL.

Watching something about radar yesterday my thought processes went thusly-

Brain to self-

Ooh, you know how sound waves can be used to ‘see’ stuff with sound… what about using light….. FAIL.


November 29, 2008

Arbeit Macht Frei.

The last person who propounded “Arbeit Macht Frei” was Adolf Hitler. This I should have noticed.

I’ve walked under that Auschwitz gate, and that I should have noted.

At some point I sat down and I waited patiently,
and life it passed me by.

I worked hard and I did as I was told graciously,
and life, it just drifted on by.

I valued long term over immediate gain,
and life, it was still walking on by.

I worried about what other people thought, and did my best to see them alright,
and still life walked past.

Good things happen to those that graft, I muttered, and worked until my fingers bled,
Still life it loped on by.

If I just keep on trying, then the good things will happen!
Life, still not stopped, walked on by.

Life got bored and slapped me round the face.
“Who are you?” I spluttered.
“Life, pleased to meet you. I believe we’ve met briefly in the past.”

“Oh yes, I remember, I was waiting for you to come back.”

“Were you?”

“Yes, and I’m quite cross that you’re late.” Arms folded, indignant eyebrow raised.

“Late?” Snapped life abruptly. “Late? I’ve always been here, right in front of you. But you never looked up from your books long enough to notice.”

“Fair point, but I had to, otherwise ‘bad things’ would happen.”

“Explain that to him.”

Life pointed a finger down the road. A cloaked figure, polishing a scythe, leaned nonchalantly against a lamppost which lit the entrance to a previously unnoticed tunnel .

Life continued. “We were beginning to think you were waiting for him. Shall I tell him to go?”

“OK”, I said, “but that slap, it really hurt you know.”

Life smiled. “You think that was painful? He’s been polishing that scythe for 25 years.”

Thanks/ apologies to Markus Zusak. I don’t usually go in to true life confessional mode but I don’t usually do a lot of what I’m doing so what the hey. JodX


November 25, 2008

The Other Wombles.

Disclaimer- I'm off sick and technically shouldn't be doing anything fun like blogging. But, yes while I am unwell, I am still able to type, and thought I'd share this with the world to cheer it, and myself, up.

The Wombles. Making good use of the things that they find, things that the everyday folks leave behind. Fair play. Early proponents of recycling. But t'other day I had a rather disturbing thought. One of a far more late night nature. Of 'The Other' Wombles that we don't see. The ones that only come out at night. The ones that clean up the kind of things that are also, and unfortunately, strewn in parks and commons. The Wombles that, shrouded in darkness and shunned by the other, more discriminating Wombles, clean up the beer cans, the condoms, the needles, the burnt out cars, that if we are to believe, are never cleaned up by our sanitised little friends. Therefore, "The Other Wombles" or "Wimbles" as I like to call them, must be cleaning them up at night. One wonders what they make out of this foul detritus. I am yet to think up words for their, obviously minor, theme tune and associated names- initial thoughts are Chernobyl, Beruit and Kosovo.


November 15, 2008

Frounds of jam.

engrish-funny-the-frounds-of-jam
more the engrish!

Courtesy of www.engrishfunny.com

The Frounds of Jam! The Frounds of Jam are calling! They are coming to get you! They are wise! They wear cloaks! They are frounds! Of jam! Jam!

Or is “The Frounds of Jam” a place? Beyond the Frounds of Jam lies the Jerulb of Haruzalah! Betwixt the mountains of Garang! On the great spice route to the Yings of Chutney!

Or is it a time? Like the Eides of March? Lo! T’is the The Frounds of Jam! Beware.

Could it also be a nebula? One of those purple swirly ones that look a bit like jam, maybe the swirly purple bits are always frounds.

Either way, I bet the Frounds of Jam are quite sticky. Sticky I tell you. STICKY!


November 10, 2008

The Mighty Boosh vs. Rich Hall: a very brief comparison.

Control factors- both comedy shows with live music. Both feature alter egos. Variables- Boosh- NIA last Saturday.  Hall- Wulfun Hall last night. NIA- naff all atmosphere- it's too big. Pigeon and I found ourselves calculating the volume of the arena and wondering what would happen to someone who lost their balance on such narrow steps with such low barriers from the dizzy heights of where we were sitting. Heaven help the poor soul. JF unable to focus on stage- couldn't see Noel- he's to thin for me to resolve properly!Wulfrun- cooing over the art deco quaintness, being terrified of the art work on the wooden panels. Four rows from the front, just off centre. Interval- Boosh- queued for chips to keep warm and a bandana for Pigeon. Wulfrun- queued for a pint and some peanuts (and a coke for Pigeon- she's the responsible adult...). Boosh- kind of funny, kinda like the TV series. Pigeon assures me they lost it after the first series. Hall- laughed until I cried funny. Boosh- music- never heard the word punk used so innacurately. Teenage girls with too much money screaming at the front at the we think we're better than we really are and could really be a charts band 'serious music'...- Crenshaw- jaw dropping awe at the wonder of how anyone in the world can play a banjo as fast as his banjo man (I once owned a banjo for a minute in 1989- it was my Grandad's- another story) End of show- Pigoen and I make a quick exit during 'music' set at 10.15, run accross Brum in the pouring rain. JF home and in bed by 11.15 and considers this to be a result. Hall- stays to sign copies of his CD much the silent amazement of the assembled 'Frunians (in joke) Seems like a nice bloke. Verdict- saw Hall in my Warwick days, will do so again. Boosh- have dipped toe in popular culture for experimental purposes only. JodX P.S._ and the only place he name checked was Heath Town. Random!


September 28, 2008

Goldilocks and the 3 bears couldn’t have really happened shocker!

I like porridge, although I can only eat it sparingly because it makes me ill. To make very thick, somewhat chewy, porridge (the runny stuff may as well be Weetabix) I add one cup of oats to one cup of milk and ‘some’ boiled water. I then gently bring it to the boil and let simmer. When thick enough, I switch off the gas, make a cup of coffee, go and switch the telly on, come back, scrape porridge into a bowl et voila.

After that, it’s hot for about 5 minutes then it’s cold as the grave and looks a bit like one as well. Then it starts to congeal and turns bilious yellow.

No way in hell did those three bears have time to go for a walk expecting to come back and find their porridge edible. Either they ate very runny porridge that was basically boiling water- eugh, or they ALL like their porridge cold. (Or there is the outside chance that I eat very thick porridge that nobody else in their right mind would eat and my evidence is baseless) You decide.

Randomly, does anyone else think that Brad Pitt is George Clooney’s picture of Dorian Grey?


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