All 5 entries tagged The Contents Of My Brain

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January 09, 2005

Relationships

Out of control
as if its not my decision
whether to be happy or sad
to get angry or upset

I feel like im on the edge of a enormous cliff,
the waves crashing below me on to the rocks
and its not up to me whether
I jump. or maybe its just
I jump without thinking.

Anyone else ever felt this?


November 22, 2004

no title

You are the light that shines down on my face every morning through my windowpane and makes me smile.
You are the gentle bandage that heals my aching wound which is making me cry.
You are the splashing water that surrounds me and washes my sins away leaving me pure and clean.
You're my teacher that always helps me to learn when I feel like giving up.
You're my thoughts, so soft and gentle, your my thoughts so harsh and rash.
You are my soul that keeps me going, that light which surrounds me cool and calm.
You are my heart that resounds within me that without I could not survive. my emotions that make me who I am.
You are my mind that ticks and ticks.You are my personality, my rationality, my devotion and words.
You are my map, my guide, my direction which without I am lost.
You are my home that you have created, my family, my love.
You are my safety that I cling to when I am scared and in need of care.
You are my peace when I need silence when I want is love.
You are my war with others when I am angry. You are their through thick and thin.
You are my happiness, my smile, my laughter. It is all part of you.
You are my wings that make me fly and the hand that catches me when I fall.
You are my love that makes me explode wirh joy. My ecstasy that I cant control.
You are my future. You are what I want to see.
You are my bestfriend that understands me that holds me up when im too weak to stand.
You are my warmth when I am cold and lonely, you are that coat that keeps me warm.

Yet…

You are my mountains that I must climb over to reach my goals and where I want to be.
You are my pain that stings and stabs my body and mind.
You are my tears that caress my cheeks when I am despairing.
You are my anger, my hatred, my spite and jealousy.
You are my danger that risk that keeps me on my toes.
You are my confusion when I am alone, lost and hurt.
You are my cold,that bites and freezes me still.
You are my downer of a hundred pills. My suicide.

You are the one I love but you of all people cause me the most painful pain


A few questions??

Why are some born givers and some take, take, take?

Why are you you and not me?

Who decides when its your time to go?

Why do we try to prevent it?

Should man really mess with what is meant to be?

Or is it meant to be that we mess?

When should we stop pushing?

Is the bottle half empty or half full?

Why ask questions that cant be answered?

…..

Who decided that we should not be together now?

Is this going to make us stronger or tear us apart?

Will you ever know how much I love you?

final questions by Alex Spencer


why do I have to have a title

If the world was just one person from their birth to their death.
Then all their memories would be people good or bad.
All their dreams amd hopes would be each minute, day,year.
All their smiles would be sunny days and all their tears would be rainy ones, which means all their frowns would be problems, stress and storms.
For all theirs aims shattered a generation dies but for each one gained a new one is born.
When they are in love there is perfect peace but when they are heart broken there is constant war to deal with.

x


To be happy?

Sorry its not so cheerful but….

Why does a person's happiness depend so much on other peoples opinions?
Why do we have to feel loved and wanted to feel we have a reason to exist?
I believe if only we can find a way of existing for who we are instead of what people think of us then we could be truly happy.

Why does the ego play such an important part of our lifes?
Why does it feel being pretty on the outside is more important than being pretty on the inside?

If I didnt care what people thought I could be myself but then I would still be happier if people loved me for being myself. So it is still a priority in my life!

I believe we can only be happy if we all change our outlook, our philosophy on why we act the way we do and why we care?

Why do we care?

Any thoughts?


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