All entries for Sunday 09 January 2005
January 09, 2005
I regret not telling you when I know you should have known.
I regret not ringing you just a simple call on the phone.
I regret not thanking you for the times you fought my fights.
And I regret not showing the regret I have, that I should have shown that night.
I wish I was so strong that my tears would not fall as they do
I wish I could tell you how much I feel and how I do respect you.
I wish I wasnt the one who couldnt speak their mind
And I wish you understood that I dont mean to be unkind.
I want to say that I love you and everything you do for me
I want to say that I know what you go through and I do see.
I want you to know you are my bestest friend
And that ill love you forever right to the end
But I cant say im sorry or that I know im wrong
As ill cry and I hate to cry it makes me feel so unstrong
So until the day I can tell you this I will just have to write it down
That im sorry so sorryabout all ive done to you
And for the fact im so weak and not so strong
Out of control
as if its not my decision
whether to be happy or sad
to get angry or upset
I feel like im on the edge of a enormous cliff,
the waves crashing below me on to the rocks
and its not up to me whether
I jump. or maybe its just
I jump without thinking.
Anyone else ever felt this?
It was more than a kiss before we had kissed,
His voice an answer to my unspoken prayer,
A flower unexpectedly blooming in winter,
A whispering longing for something I did not know was there.
He was my direction though I thought I was not lost,
His beautiful face, my guiding light above,
A flower, my gift from heaven lasting forever,
It is an emotion too often described as endless love.
When in his arms I melt into nothing,
But his touch soothing my worries away does not last,
The flower already dying,
My endless love disappearing fast.
My tears run for what seems forever,
A word depicting my lie a worthless lie.
My flower, a blood red rose
Is withering in a last goodbye.