All entries for Monday 09 June 2008
June 09, 2008
I am in the Library working (very intensely) for the dreaded looming monster that is our Algebra II exam tomorrow afternoon. It’s our hardest module, and it doesn’t seem to be going too badly, which is good news.
And now for a more serious entry than usual, with more than just a report on life, the universe and everything.
It’s strange – these exams are on some fascinating maths, but I have never felt so disinclined to work towards anything. I’m just not inspired at the moment, which is really disappointing. And as a direct consequence, the two exams I’ve sat so far this session haven’t gone well. It’s not a problem: provided the rest of my exams go OK (I’m discounting tomorrow Algebra exam from “the rest of my exams” because the module has literally about three times the content of any other module and it is unlikely to be a pleasurable two hours), I should score a 2.i and be on track for a good result.
I’ve been thinking a lot about life post-degree recently, which has, as well as providing a good distraction from revision, been very enlightening. When I came to Warwick I knew exactly what I wanted to do: work hard, graduate with a good degree, go and work in london ‘til I reached 35, then retire and do whatever I wanted (having worked like a dog for 15 years to acquire the means to do so).
It is, however, just like all things in life, not quite that simple. Being at university has, without a doubt, been an incredible experience (and I hope it remains to be), which I have enjoyed immensely. It has also been a vast voyage of self discovery, and very enlightening – the amount I have learned in the last 2 years (both academic and otherwise) is simply staggering. And that’s now not what I really want to do any more.
A financial career is now less inspiring to me: there are so many more exciting, interesting jobs I would rather do when I graduate. Some need a degree, some don’t (although whichever I choose, I still want to graduate with a decent degree).
It occurred to me about 6 months ago that what I really want to do is sing. It’s my passion, my favourite thing, what I look forward to every day. Although the question of whether I’d still love it if I did it all day every day or whether it would be worth keeping it as a hobby remains to be answered. There’s only one way to find out though. And I’d feel pretty rubbish if I got to 30 and thought “I wish I’d tried to get into singing as a career”.
The one other thing I’m wondering at the moment is whether to stick on the four year MMath course I’m currently enrolled on or whether to change to the BSc and graduate after three years. The four-year course has the obvious advantage that I get to spend another year in this fantastic place. Although lots of my friends will have graduated, and the workload will be greater, so I’ll have less time to pursue other opportunities. The trouble is, I see an opportunity, I always want to grab it. And I don’t always have the time to dedicate to it to do as well as I want to in it.
Sorry, that’s all come out in a bit of a random order as it tumbled out of my head, but I’m not doing an essay subject so I hadn’t done a plan before I started.
Still, that makes me feel a bit better. Here’s to some success tomorrow!
OK, back to the revision for now…