May 13, 2007

Horns of a dilemma

I always cite one of my pet hates as people who can't make a decision. I mean, everyone has big choices to make and being unsure about them is completely understandable, but it's when you ask someone what they want for dinner and they go 'I don't mind'. Want to watch something on TV? 'I don't mind.' Then they look pissed as hell when you choose something for them and they don't like it. Well, you should have expressed a preference in the first place. My first boyfriend was like that and it drove me to fucking distraction.

So generally, I am pretty decisive because it gets shit done when noone else will make the call.

However, when it comes to my career I am notoriously incapable of deciding on anything. And here I am with yet another decision to make.

Wednesday night, 5 of us booked our flight to Warsaw, Poland, to go backpacking round Eastern Europe for a month and generally fuck around like the shameless little troublemakers we are. It is very, VERY, exciting. BUT...I applied for a marketing/PR internship for a language school in Bilbao, Spain for the summer. And last night they offered me the job.

This isn't quite as straightforward as it seems. Because this job offer is the first thing I've heard from them since I sent my CV. Didn't invite me to interview, didn't call me. Nada. Just offered me the job, and said could I come a bit earlier (answer: no). Also, and this might be quite telling, they didn't give me any details for the job: what I'd be paid, where I'd live, etc. As if I'd just go, 'oh, OK!!' and rock up in Bilbao on July 2nd knowing fuck all about it.

So I'm gonna email for more information, but I think it's fishy. Thing is, there are two different trains of thought here - there's what I should do and what I want to do. I want to do both, actually - go to Spain AND go to Eastern Europe - but I probably (everything being legit) should go to Spain for the following reasons:

  1. I'd be earning money, not spending it.
  2. I'd get to learn Spanish which I've wanted to do for 3 years.
  3. Live in yet another foreign country - always good on the old CV and bloody exciting as well.
  4. Spanish men (shameless I know, and they're all proper pervs from my experience, but you need to have something to look at when you're working don't you?)

But I want to go to Eastern Europe for the following reasons:

  1. I'd finally be going travelling and not just talking about it/saving for it.
  2. I'd get to piss around on the continent with my best mate, and 4 of my other mates as well.
  3. I'd get to see all this AMAZING stuff and do stuff I've never done before.
  4. Probably look good on my CV as well, provided I leave out any drunken escapades.
  5. I'm getting on a bit, and the cost is gonna skyrocket once I get to 26.
I should have known they'd bloody email me as soon as I put my £55 for my flight. I'm secretly hoping the decision will be made for me. I can make decisions in every other area of my life, except on what I actually want to do with it...but don't tell anyone that I've bollocked for saying 'I don't mind'.

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