All entries for November 2004

November 04, 2004

The Forever Living Loofah

It's funny how, when you move into a house and gain a permanent bathroom, you suddenly discover a lot more about your seemingly innocent hall-mates than you ever expected. For example: what shampoo they use, how often they use it, and how long they really take in the shower whilst 'washing their hair.'

This is how I discovered that I was not only living with four seemingly normal people, but also a 'Forever Living' Loofah, purporting to belong to one of the aforementioned seemingly normal people, supposedly for washing purposes. Had I known that this item had been lurking in my housemate's washbag all of last year, I would never have agreed to live with them.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the common or garden loofah, but the idea of a 'Forever Living' Loofah disturbs me. I like the idea that my loofah, after a period of dedicated service, will disintegrate upon the bathroom floor, or moulder away quietly on some high ledge (of the type that are always somewhere to be found in a bathroom).

What I don't like is the thought that my loofah will continue to look as fresh as the day it was bought, therefore giving rise to the idea that I am not washing well enough; or even worse, becoming rotten and bedraggled, but still retaining enough substance to write its incriminating memoirs, of how I used and abused it in sordid bathroom encounters.

Any loofah that claims to be immortal must, at some point in the history of time, gain sentience, and when this happens, the consequences could be great and grievous. And how do we know it hasn't happened yet? Loofahs must be kept in their place, for all our sakes…

November 03, 2004

Blankets Are Great

I like my blanket. It's soft, purple, and reasonably warm (an important attribute in any cost-conscious student house).

It also hides the fact that I had an attack of acute Can't-Be-Bothered-Anymore this morning when I was getting dressed, and the three items of clothing nearest to my bed didn't match in any way, shape or form. Which is kind of an incredible feat in itself, when you think about it. (And in case you're wondering, the blanket clashes horribly with all of them too.)

The other reason I like my blanket is that it allows me to go about my daily business whilst preserving the illusion that I am actually still in bed. (Maybe I am still dreaming… and it's not actually halfway through reading week, and it's not that I still haven't made any headway with my essays, it's just it's kind of hard to write essays when you're still asleep and the day hasn't started yet…)

Anyway, I'm going off the point slightly. Blankets Are Great. Especially the purple ones.

November 2004

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