December 20, 2005

Things That Get My Goat: Fitt the First

It's nine o'clock tonight, the roads are getting a bit icy, visibility's a little poor and my tyre treads and my demisters on my dear little Clio are not exactly what you'd call state of the art. And I'm on a university campus 20mph road, with the odd pedestrian/bicycle that will suddenly loom out at you, and flashing lights everywhere telling you to go slow.

So what speed am I doing? Just ticking over 20 nicely thanks, Mr Arrogant Tosser Backing Up My Arse Honking His Horn Every Thirty Seconds.

Listen, if you want to play it risky, then just overtake me already. I'm not going to break the law because I'm not confident that if somebody did walk out in front of me in these conditions, I could stop in time, and just because you want to act like a bloody boy racer lording it round campus in your little souped up mini, there's no reason why I should have to endanger people too. You want to play it oh so fucking cool, you swing out round me and take your chances, and if you're not man (and please please don't fail to note the poisonous sarcasm in my voice here) enough to do it, then just stop honking your little horn and get over it.


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  1. I've not had the pleasure of someone doing that behind me in my few years of driving, and not because I'm the one doing it either.
    How can someone managed to get so pissed off on campus though? It's not that big. Although 20mph does seem very slow most of the time. Not when there are loads of the buggers running round during term though :S

    20 Dec 2005, 01:01

  2. I know! It's not exactly the mean streets of South Leam! I don't expect that sort of thing on campus.

    And probably, I'd be unconsciously doing a bit more than 20mph when campus was quiet like that, but when I genuinely can't see that far ahead and the road's a bit slippy anyway, I'm not risking it. Usually, people like that will just overtake and whatever happens after that is their own stupid fault, but what got me was him just sitting up my backside and making a big noise about it. Tosser

    (And I'm not just presuming it was a him – I checked in my mirror. Hard to miss someone when he's sitting that far up your backside, really.)

    20 Dec 2005, 01:15

  3. You get a crick in the neck trying to see them though :S

    20 Dec 2005, 11:44

  4. Campus is a slow place to be a motorist. There are lots of pedestrian crossings and bus stops and car park entrances and other things that make it very difficult to whizz around in your car at the speed of light. If the gentleman behind you had any sense, he would have known not to have driven onto campus in the first place if he was in a hurry. Either that, or he should have allowed more time for his journey, knowing that certain delays would be inevitable.

    Having said that, I have myself received a ticking off in the past for driving around campus at too rapid a pace. Guess we're all guilty of it sometimes…

    20 Dec 2005, 18:50

  5. I imagine certain men drive like that because they are compensating for a lack of size of a certain body part. It's easy to check as it usually protrudes from their foreheads.

    27 Dec 2005, 12:13

  6. Thank you for making me laugh out loud for the first time today. :-D

    27 Dec 2005, 20:06

  7. I don't know why… but that affects my grammatical eye

    29 Dec 2005, 01:23

  8. What, my comment, or those two charming and immeasurably witty comments that higher powers have obviously managed to spot and remove?

    (And yes, if you mean the last two, my grammatical eye was shrieking in its socket too.)

    29 Dec 2005, 11:26

  9. Well either will do I suppose

    29 Dec 2005, 13:30

  10. That's annoying – what a gimp. I mainly just wanted to appreciate your title though: Fitt the First. Love it! When can we expect Fitt II?

    I started a blog by the way- woo hoo!

    xxx H

    02 Jan 2006, 17:41

  11. …I left it open for whenever I next have need… probably the start of a whole new section!

    Found your blog. Knew you'd crack eventually. :-)

    03 Jan 2006, 11:35


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