'Oh look, a severed bloodied Barbie head…'
'...next to a hacksaw, isn't that nice?' Which is what I would have said on opening the cupboard under the stairs, apart from the fact it was 11pm, there was nobody else in the house, and for some strange reason, words failed me at this point.
So yes. That is as good an introduction to our house as any. I am living with her, him and One Who Blogs Not. And we also have apple trees, pear trees, and roses in the garden, and a mains drainage system in our living room. It is a lovely house of… loveliness, and also between us we seem to know about half the people in the street.
None of them has a severed Barbie head and a hacksaw though. Nowhere else in Leamington will you be offered a cup of tea and the chance to meet the Barbie Head of Doom. It's nice to know we have something unique to offer the neighbours.
And now we have internet, and thus my university life is complete. I can now give term my permission to begin.
Oh yes, in case you're now too scared to step inside the house, I should add that we worked out that it was probably red paint. Probably.