All entries for Wednesday 17 May 2006
May 17, 2006
I have had a revelation. A blinding flash of inspiration, that came to me this morning as I lay in bed looking at the pile of books looming on my desk, and thought I'd really rather not, thanks. And then, my gaze stretched to the wall beyond, and the picture on the wall. I could do that, I thought. That, there, is my vocation. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.
Yes, that's right. I don't need my degree. Not at all. For I am going to give it all up and become a Preraphaelite model.
And here, should you still doubt the wisdom of my decision, are five good reasons why.
- I will get to lie about all day in bed, probably somewhere nice. And even if there is no bed, there will be many many cushions.
- I will never ever need to use hair straighteners ever again. I can let my hair free to curl and wave and go crazy in the way it loves to do, all the time, and I don't need to feel ashamed next to all the other eng lit girls with their perfectly straight and shiny hair in manner of Pantene advert.
- I can spend all my time in flowing skirts and dresses in pretty colours. No more jeans.
- There will probably be a a few lithe young men in strategically draped grecian robes hanging about the place. This can never be accounted a bad thing.
- My big hips will be attractive and desirable and will be magically transformed into things of beauty by the artist's brush, befitting goddesses and heroines of literature.
However, there are also, as with any career choice, a few downsides to consider.
- Loss of feeling in arms from prolonged lying around in ravishing poses.
- Possible pneumonia from floating about in little clothing in rivers emulating Ophelia and the Lady of Shalott etc.
- Problems with maintaining a vacuously attractive and wistful gaze, as as proved in my exam yesterday ('Mathematicians are reminded they may NOT take string into this exam'), I have difficulty keeping a straight face for long periods.
- Men staring at me for any length of time borders on being a little creepy, especially whilst I'm asleep.
- Wearing trailing skirts continually, whilst tempting, may pose a bit of an issue in rainy English weather. May become so waterlogged whilst, for example, buying groceries, that I can't physically move.
Hmm… Maybe I'll stick with the revision a little while longer. After all, the main thing is that I have options, I suppose.