April 25, 2006

Student / Staff Lovin'

So in an attempt to spread the love between lecturers and students after recent disputes VC Dave V-L decides to form a student / staff bowling league. Its the night of the big final and a bunch of Chemistry students (and lecturers) are up against English for the big prize. The grandstands are going mental as the action builds towards its climax. Dave V-L's entertaining a group of Singaporean businessmen with Budweiser, hotdogs and sexy dancing girls. Kat Stark's there too (cheering for the lecturers). Everywhere lecturers and students are getting on and putting recent disagreements behind him. Brian Duggan's almost in tears.

With one shot to play the English students and lecturers are trailing by 22 points, but they can snatch victory by clearing all the pins on the last shot. A lecturer puts down his Yeats Collected Poetry, steps up and adjusts his spectacles. He seizes a 14lb bowling ball and moves towards the end of the lane. The auditorium falls silent. Dave V-L grabs one of the Singaporean businessmen by the arm to shut him up. Brian manages to stifle a sob.

The ball starts to lumber down the lane, agonisingly slowly. But the chemistry crew are concerned. The shot looks good – slow, but good. The English students start to search for erudite metaphors to encapsulate what might just about to be the most transcendent moment for staff / student relations in the history of Warwick University. But suddenly the lecturer grabs a football from a nearby member of the First XI and hurls it down the lane. It collides with the bowling ball just as it's about to hit the pins. In the melee of balls and skittles, audience members crane their heads to see what's going on. The dust settles. Every pin is down, except one. It rocks and teeters for a moment but doesn't fall. The aghast students stare at the lecturer in disbelief. He turns to them, and shrugs.

"Sorry guys – I'm on action short of a strike."


- 4 comments by 3 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Christopher Rossdale

    And the award for contrived pun of the month goes to….....

    Nicely written though!

    25 Apr 2006, 11:44

  2. Mathew Mannion

    Good times

    25 Apr 2006, 14:34

  3. ha – if i hear that phrase again i'm going to throttle something.

    25 Apr 2006, 21:10

  4. ha ha ha genius. I found that way funnier than i should've. I bet your shakespeare essay lies untouched in a corner tho

    28 Apr 2006, 10:21


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