Friends – The One Where Geordie's Room Was Reeeeeally Diiiiirty
Oh my god!
I was doing some revision on the floor (as you do) when I suddenly noticed how very very raaaaaank my diiiiirty diiiiirty room was. To be fair I don't remember the last time I cleaned it and I am a filthy individual at the best of times.
So I decided to clean it (pretty much cos it beat doing further revision which was making me angry and sad inside). I'll spare you the horrifying details but now the floor is blue and not the strange grey colour it had become…in fact all my room is now in colour whereas it was in greyscale before – I thought it was my eyes.
I'm going to turn into one of those old men who when they die they find them lying in their arm chair surrounded by squallor! You know the type; turds everywhere, empty packets of crisps etc and drink all over the place, more dust in the air than oxygen and a massive overgrown ecosystem of ungodliness in the bread bin. I'm quite looking forward to it and I'll laugh heartily at the idea of someone cleaning my abomination of a bathroom whilst I'm in my cold, cold grave. You've got to have something to look forward to.
Incidentally I put socks on my hands to dust cos I didn't have any dusters. The technique is both effective and hilarious.