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June 19, 2007

The End of Mitch's Blog

Dear all faithful readers (yes, both of you)

This is just a short note to inform you that I am moving blogs. My new address is now:



June 13, 2007

The Countdown To Japan Begins

So, exams are officially over, my bank balance has been officially exhausted and the summer is officially beginning. However, for those of you who don’t know (for the record, these people must be far and few between) I’m not spending the majority of this summer England-stylee, but rather in the Nihon manner. I’m off to Japan. On 4th August. That means very little time left in this country and then I bid it farewell. For an entire year. Today I resumed my gym regime (I may have mentioned that I’d done this, but only in a half-assed way – from here on in, it’s every day, baby!) and tomorrow I’m going to start learning Japanese. I’ve learnt a few introductory phrases, but tomorrow is the day I turn Japanese native (ha!).

I’m shitting myself. Yeah, I’ve done something similar in Germany, but 1) Germany is closer, 2) it’s an easyjet destination and so easily reached and 3) I spoke some semblance on the language and had had experience of the culture previously. Japan is, as yet, an unknown entity. I do know stuff about the country, but I have no way to prepare for just the culture shock of having to live my life so differently from how I’m used to. And the heat. Wow, the heat is just going to kill me, especially as I arrive in the midst of summer. Surely it’ll only get better from there, but still! And then I’ve received so many official documents from the Iwakuni Board of Education (by whom I’m employed) and I’m worried that they’re going to be really strict and that I’m going to have a shit time and not have time to explore Japan at all. I also want to go abroad from Japan to see a bit of Asia as I’ve never actually been on that continent (Israel doesn’t technically count). Then there’s the whole US Marine Base. Iwakuni is home to a lot of US Marines who, apparently, one is strongly advised to avoid when they’re drunk. The last thing I really want is to get knifed by some squaddie!

I’m not really worried about the whole friends issue, because I’m quite a sociable chap and I’m sure that I’ll establish a strong friends network once I’m there. I’m more worried about the Japanese. I’ve never really had much experience of ‘them’ as a ‘people’ and I’m really worried that on my first day I’ll make some huge social faux pas and be shunned from society because I didn’t take my shoes off and leave the toe end facing the door. Oh, and I’ve got to dress smart for school. OK, Germany was weird because I didn’t have any dress code at all, but smart! All I’m thinking is the heat. It’ll be OK once it gets a bit cooler, but the other day, for the Woscars, I was wearing a shirt and trousers and I was more than a little uncomfortable. People say that you should take what the other teachers at the schools wear as an indication as to how to dress – I’m just going to have a really uncomfortable first day, because, as they say, you can only make one first impression, and so I don’t want to turn up and have someone tell me that I’m dressed inappropriately.

I’m pretty sure most of my worries are run-of-the-mill, but they’re still worries nonetheless. Anyway – hope exams have gone/are going well!


June 10, 2007

The Musical of Musicals: The Musical (Unashamed Plug)

I wrote a rant on here yesterday about people that call themselves pro-life. I decided not to publish it at all because I figured that it would be too much hassle.

So, I’ve finished my exams and am sat around most days listening to musical soundtracks. In fact, this isn’t as ‘recreational’ as it may sound, even though I am enjoying myself, it’s research for a show called Musical of Musicals: The Musical which is on as part of the Warwick Student Arts Festival this year. I’m in it! There’s a cast of four and the same story is told five times in the styles of Rodgers and Hammerstein (The Sound Of Music, Oklahoma!), Stephen Sondheim (Sweeny Todd, Into The Woods), Jerry Herman (Hello Dolly!, La Cage aux Folles), Andrew Llyod Webber (Evita, The Phantom of the Opera) and Kander and Ebb (Cabaret, Chicago). If you don’t musicals, it’s still actually really funny. If you do know musicals well, you’ll love it. And you get to see me try my very best to act…

I hope that everyone does well in their exams.


May 20, 2007

The End of an Era

Well, Bat Boy is over. What has been 3 years in the making, 7 months in the production, the show has finished to raptuous applause and an audience reception I could never have dreamt of. With comments about the professionalism of the cast and crew greeting me after every performance, I can honestly say I’ve never been so astounded and flattered.

After the last showing on Saturday night, a lot of people stayed behind to put the Studio back in order and then we headed over to the Union for drinks. The crew gave out thank you mementos and awards and received cards and presents.

I woke up today and have been at a total loss. I have nothing to do. Nothing to plan. Nothing to organise. And no one is ringing me! OK, I have an exam tomorrow but I’ve been unable to even contemplate starting it.

I feel empty. We did a great show. And now it’s over in a matter of days. When one thinks back to last Sunday which was when we did our first run through with costumes and some props, I have no clue as to how everyone pulled it out of the bag. All I can say is that I am truly grateful to everyone who was involved in the show and who put a lot of hard work and effort into it. It really showed and I’d like to think that Bat Boy will live longer than just the 5 performances that we did.

Consequently, I’ve been bursting into spontaneous floods of tears throughout the day in a pathetic display of emotion for the lapsed event. Re-reading the card I got from the cast and just thinking about how amazing the experience of directing a (fucking succesful) show leads me to cry. If it could be guaranteed that I would feel this content with every consequent show I were to do, I’d seriously consider going into it as a profession.

I’ve just written that I’m happy. I am. But I’m also more depressed than I’ve been in a long time, and let me tell you, it’s a weird feeling – a cross between relief, happiness, sadness and dread because of the exam tomorrow.

To any members of cast and crew that are reading this: thank you.


April 23, 2007


I am a newbie to the area of the Fens, but inspired by Naomi’s passion for her home county, I feel that I should be doing the same for my new county. Often overlooked as a flat wasteland, Cambridgeshire may be lacking in rolling hills and deep, carved valleys, but in its simplicity is an ignored charm. Nestled in amongst all of this is Oxburgh Hall. On Easter Monday I toured this country estate, in awe of the beauty of the place.

Oxburgh Hall - The Courtyard

Owned since the 15th Century by the same family, the house boasts extensive grounds, an orchard, a chapel and a moat. it also has the only ‘priest hole’ on view to the public. When Catholicism was banned in Britain, aristocratic families would have services at home. However, there were frequent raids by the law enforcers of the time and therefore getaway holes were provided in which the priest could hide until danger has passed.

Oxburgh Hall - The Moat
Oxburgh Hall - The Garden/div>
Oxburgh Hall - The View
Oxburgh Hall

The landscape is very flat around this area of the country as it used to be completely submerged in water. The drainage engines that helped reveal the fertile land are on display in their own museum, located opposite my house. My house is the oldest house in the village of Prickwillow. Formerly located on the bridge crossing the River Lark, the occupiers of the house collected the tolls paid by those wanting to get to the other side of the river. My house is called the Toll House and even though the bridge is long since gone, replaced by a newer construction, the house stands still, despite being almost 200 years old.

My Room With A View

The city of Ely, the second smallest city in Britain, lies 5 miles from Prickwillow. Home to Ely Cathedral, an imposing gothic-esque style structure, Ely attracts thousands of tourists each year and is thriving in the summer months. With lots of green areas and a modest shopping centre, when busy Ely is a bustling environment in which to be. Ely Cathedral - RearviewEly Cathedral From A Distance

Ely Cathedral - Rearview

The landscape has a way of making you feel your insignificance. The lack of hills allows for stunning skyscapes, impressive cloud formations and amazing night skies. To look out across for miles is humbling and allows for personal reflection and has the ability to put things in perspective. Whenever things are getting too much, to gaze out at such beautiful desolation clears away insignificant problems.

The River Great Ouse
Weeping Willow
The Fens
The Landscape
Easter Sunday Walk

To leave you all with what I face everyday, the following image is the view from my house, overlooking the river.

The View From My House

March 27, 2007

The Extents To Which I'll Go When I'm Bored

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
“to Central German which uses a ch element, e.g. Mädchen. Thus,”

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can…what do u find?
My wallet

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
God knows – something at Christmas time

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
some kind of ruckus in the kitchen

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I just walked home from playing badminton

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

9. What are you wearing?
black tshirt and blue shorts – not very attractive but they’re ‘sports clothing’...ish

10. Did you dream last night?
I think so, but I can’t remember about what

11. When did you last laugh?
Playing badminton because we were both unbelievably bad

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
black and white pictures of New York and pictures of my family and myself

13. Seen anything weird lately?
a Year 11 German class working in total silence

14. What do you think of this quiz?
it’s alright – passes the time

15. What is the last film you saw?
Cruel Intentions 3 – don’t judge me

16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I’d pay off my loan, learn to drive and go on holiday

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know:
I cheated on my A Level German exam

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics what would it be?
I’d make it nice weather most of the year round rather than this crazy fucked up shit we’re having at the minute

19. Do you like to dance?
Only when drunk

20. George Bush:
The President of the United States

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I’ve not really thought about it

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him
I’ve not really thought about it

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?

Round 2

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Look at those bags under my eyes!

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
When I get back to Uni in April

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”

4. Favorite planet?

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
My mum and dad

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
it’s called Ringlord and sounds like a phone, rather than trying to ‘pimp’ my handset with some ‘hip’ tune

7. What shirt are you wearing?
it says Problem Child

8. Do you “label” yourself?
with Post-its? No

9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing?
I’m not – I’m in socks

10. Bright or Dark Room?
My room? Bright

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading in bed

12. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
“I’m just getting into bed. Wish you were here to snuggle up to”

13. Where is your mailbox?

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?

15.Who told you he/she loved you last?
I have no idea

16. Last furry thing you touched?
Erm…Rob’s head

17. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
I haven’t. Not even alcohol. How boring am I?

18. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?

19. Who was the last person you had a chance meeting with?
Helen outside Costcutters

20. Favorite age you have been so far?
21 – I love being every age but don’t yearn to repeat years

21. Your worst enemy?
I don’t have one

22. What is your current desktop picture?
Abercrombie and Fitch design (not models!)

23. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“See you tomorrow morning”

24. If you had to choose between a million dollars, or being able to fly, which would you do?
Million dollars

25. Do you like someone?
Sort of

26. The last song you listened to?
Goodbye Until Tomorrow – The Last Five Years

27. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?

28. If you could punch one person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be?
No-one – I’m reasonably contented

29. If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?
Eating, spending money perhaps

30. What are you going to do now the quiz is over?
Sit around some more, wasting time

March 23, 2007

Catch Up

OK, so I’ve taken a month’s break from blogging, but I’m sure I wasn’t overly missed by anyone other than Naomi, possibly my sole blog-reader. But I’m bored and at school so I thought I’d catch y’all up on what’s been going on.

For this week (and next) Lisa and I have been teaching assistants at Coundon Court School in Coventry. We’ve been observing lessons, teaching German lessons and generally making a nusiance of ourselves. I was dreading it because it was two whole weeks of actual working (Uni work has fallen by the wayside which will have to be rectified when I get back home and have 10,000 words to write), but we’ve both agreed that we’ve had a lot more fun than we were expecting. However, we do have a week to go, so that may change! Pretty much all the staff here are lovely and welcoming and the kids…well, they’re OK – I suppose they’re just normal kids. They could be a lot worse!

Other than that not much has been happening. Bat Boy has retired for the Easter break, only to come back stronger than you could have ever imagined, what with 10-12 hour rehearsals planned for most weeks leading up to the performances next term. When I’m going to get a chance to revise is a question I’m unwilling to contemplate at the moment!

Hope everyone else is OK and enjoying the break, despite the sheer wall of work I have no doubt that they’ve been confronted with. Happy Easter!


February 28, 2007

Bat Boy – Notice The Absence Of A "ty"

It’s just past midnight on the last Tuesday/Wednesday of February and I’m listening to Les Misérables. Could it get much better than this?

Well, apparently if you Google something along the lines of ‘Warwick’ and ‘Bat Boy’, the first thing that comes up on the serach results is this blog. How cool is that? That said, I am the poor bastard directing it, so it stands to reason that it should happen, but I was still impressed.

On the subject, Bat Boy is going really well. We’ve not had too many rehearsals just yet and the scripts are being somewhat problematic, but that aside, I’m having a hell of a lot of fun. And I’m so pleased with the cast – I don’t feel like I’ve made do with anyone and everyone fits their parts and as far as I know (from observation and feedback from them) they’re all really excited to be part of it. Which is always good.

When, on Sunday afternoon I stood in the Ensemble Room in the Music Centre, I saw Hold Me Bat Boy choreographed, I got very excited! This has been so long in the making – I first mentioned that I would want to direct it last August and so we’re going into month 7 of the Bat Boy creation project.

Just as an aside, I’ve learnt that if you say “Ich freue mich wie ein Schneekönig” it means “I’m as pleased as punch” – how cool is that?!

I’ve not really got anything else to write, other than I hope everyone it good; just thought I’d catch you all up on my new baby (Bat Boy, that is – I’ve not impregnanted some “big-breasted co-ed” as my favourite blogger told me I should have). Of course I will let you all know when it is on, but by that time there will be a Facebook event and you’ll all have been invited anyway, but you get my drift.


February 18, 2007

Fie On You, Sundays!

It is no secret that I despise the seventh (or first, depending on your way of looking) day of the week. Sunday and I have this unsaid hatred that lies deep in the very bellies of our souls. The day annoys me. Maybe it harks back to a time when I had to go to church on this day and listen to how I was guilty of heinous sins and unless I repented like the sinning little bitch that I was, I would burn for all eternity in the firey pits of Hell. It may also be down to the fact that when I think of Sundays, I think of all the crap television that I had to sit through on Sunday afternoons (possibly the worst time on Sundays), or at least flick through to check out what other tripe was being broadcast. Songs of Praise, Antiques Roadshow, Channel 4 Racing. I am, however, pretty certain that most of my detestation of this, the horror of all horrors is the fact that nothing is open. And if it deigns it necessary to open, it shuts at 4pm. That means that you have to plan in advance the fact that later, you’re going to want chocolate or ice cream or cheese on toast or just something that isn’t goddamn, motherfucking Snack-a-Jacks-because-someone-decided-they-were-going-to-try-and-be-healthy-and-then-stopped-when-they-got-ill-and-just-couldn’t-be-arsed-to-start-it-up-again. It gets to about 7pm and one’s mind turns to dinner and what you’re going to have. However, the laugh is on you because you forgot to plan ridiculously in advance and now you’re left with the options of eating that minging bit of chicken you’ve left in the back of the freezer for ages in the hope that it’ll piss someone off and they can throw it out so you don’t have to, or your left arm. Needless to say, you can only partake of the latter once and so you’ve got to bide your time well, because you never know when you may be stuck in the desert, or the jungle, or chained to an Iranian’s radiator and you need the sustenance that your limb would provide.

So after eating my steamed meal, followed by Snack-a-Jack popcorn (don’t even get me started) and a Ryvita bar (resembling vaguely cherry flavoured slabs of nutty cardboard) I’m sat here in a state of despair. Judi did give me the idea of trekking to the library and using the vending machines there, but part of me just can’t be arsed. But then the other side of me (you know, the side that used to weigh as much as a medium-sized hippo and consumed roughly the same amount os Uganda per month) is telling me to get off my fat arse and go and get some chocolate. Or sweets. Or just something that will sate my clawing, yearning desire to eat something so bad for me that just looking at it may send me into wild, uncontrollable convulsions. I would, after all, be burning off calories on the journey to and from the machines. But I can’t. Not really. Can I?

On other issues, I think everyone should be watching Heroes. I’m really starting to get into it – it’s a little bit like Lost and X-Men combined, although any questions it poses, it seems to answer (I’m hoping that this trend continues of course).

I went out to Nightingales last night in Brum. Although a good night was had by all, it still was nowhere near as auspiscious as a) I had hoped it would be or b)other nights out have been before. Never, really, have I had a good night at “the Gale”. Not in the class of Bows or DV8, dives as they very well may be. There’s just something about Gales that doesn’t sit right with me. Oh, and the drinks are really expensive. And there’s a piano-playing tranny, but I’m pretty certain that goes in the club’s favour.

Week 7 starts tomorrow and it’s starting to get a bit scary. I did very little in Reading Week and rehearsals for Bat Boy start on Tuesday. I need to get a degree as well as preparing a show for a week before my exams. Quiote stressful, I can tell you, but I refuse to let myself get bogged under – other people have done it, why shouldn’t I? I’m just hoping that the show will end up kicking ass, because otherwise, failing my degree for it may have been a futile waste. At least if it’s good, I can get some sort of pleasure knowing that I wasted 4 years of my life for something that people enjoyed – ever the submissive martyr, that’s me!

Right – I’m going to sign off and battle with my inner demons against the powers that want chocolate. Hope everyone is staying well!


February 15, 2007

Is It Coincidence That VD Means Both Valentine's Day And Venereal Disease?

Now, I know what you’re thinking and I can assure you that it’s not going to happen – you’re not going to have to read the bitter moanings of the eternal singleton.

Last night, Richy and I decided to celebrate our own Anti-Valentine’s Day Day – we bought Ben and Jerry’s and alcohol, and sat down in front of Mean Girls and Legally Blonde and bitched a little bit. Then we made popcorn. All in all, quite a productive evening.

In the midst of all this jollyness, I couldn’t help but wonder about the sales of ice cream such as Haagen Dazs or B&J’s on 14th February. There are millions of single guys and gals out there who mope about on that day – the people who make that stuff must be rolling in it after the sales of just one day per year!

Most of my VD (and here, I’m meaning the day, as opposed to the disease) was spent in London. I had an interview at the Japanese Embassy to ascertain whether or not I was a liability to send to Japan to teach English for a year (or 3). My train was majorly delayed, but my age-old adage came into play – getting annoyed isn’t going to make the train arrive any quicker. When I got on the train, I was beset by thickly-accented chavs who were supposed to alight at Milton Keynes but instead, dicked about a bit and consequently missed their stop. At first, I branded them as the general loud youth-scum one finds anywhere in Coventry. However, some of them actually resembled human beings and they were generally quite nice and quite funny. It made my journey go a little bit quicker, observing how they interacted with each other. If it wouldn’t’ve been such a waste of three years, I should have done Sociology (however, as anyone who knows me will know, that wouldn’t happen, as I flunked it at AS Level and got an E! Oh, that, and I hated every minute of it).

When I arrived in the Big Smoke, I quickly made my way over to Covent Garden, where I ordered a table for one at my most frequented Wagamamas. From there, I headed on over to Green Park (saw the Ritz, where I’ll be heading in a few weeks for afternoon tea!) and sat reading The Bell Jar in the Starbucks there whilst waiting for my interview time to roll around. I then strolled on over to the Japanese Embassy, went through all of their security procedure things and checked my phone in at reception. God, Japanese people are friendly.

As I sat waiting for someone to come and fetch me, I had a look at the stuff they had there and took a shine to a couple of maps they had lying around. They’re now sat next to me, but I’m pretty certain I was allowed to take them – sort of free literature that these places leave for you to pick up. A nice girl called Tilly (apparently she’d never met a person called Mitch before) came and found me and took me upstairs. There, I took an English grammar test that wasn’t too hard (I got confused on some of the spelling questions because they gave you three options and they all looked so similar, I had to take some time out to think about how I would spell it on my own – luckily my speeling is good) and watched a video. Well, when I say “watched a video” I mean, I chatted to Tilly about what she did in Japan. Then I had to sit on a little chair until my interviewers were ready for me. An American girl who looked remarkably like my friend Esther came out and told me that she used to be on the JET programme and would be taking my interview. Then she introduced me to this Japanese dude who seemed a little reluctant to be there. Generally, it went OK – the questions were pretty standard and I think I conveyed how excited I am by the possibility that I may be spending a year in the Orient. Then, the Japanese guy dealt his deathly blow – after professing to love the country so much, he asked me who the Prime Minister was. Now, I could tell you how many inhabitants there were in Tokyo, or even in Japan itself. I could also tell you the annual GDP and the fact that Japan has the second largest economy in the world. But I had no clue who fucking runs the country. After telling him that I simply didn’t know (there was no way on Earth I could’ve guessed), he gave me a second chance to prove myself on the all-things-Japanese front: name 3 famous Japanese people. Now forgive me for being dense, but other than Mr Miyagi from The Karate Kid, I was stumped. Luckily, I managed to pull two out of a hat, but a third just eluded me. No doubt, if I Wiki it later on, there will be heaps of people I knew, but when I was in there, I coouldn’t for the life of me think. However, other than those two questions, I reckon I answered all the others quite well. At one point I was asked if I minded being sent to rural areas. Now, I was always taught that you should always prove yourself to being amenable, so I said yes. Why did I say yes? If I get sent to some mountain-side shanty town, I’m not going to be impressed. I did stress that I grew up in a big city and find it easier to adapt and settle into new surroundings if they’re bustling, but I’m starting to dread saying that I’m up for rural. Although, if I’d said that no I wasn’t, that may have been the dealbreaker itself.

Afterwards I met up with Krystle, who I haven’t seen since the end of my second year. We caught up over a KFC and then I headed back to Coventry where I met up with Richy.

Reading Week is drawing to a close. Already. This term is flying by and I have done nothing. I started researching my essay the other day in the library but ended up playing Feeding Frenzy (you’re a fish and you have to eat fish smaller than you and avoid fish bigger than you, until you grow big enough to eat them as well – great fun!). Seeing as Bat Boy rehearsals start THIS SUNDAY I should really be making a concerted effort. In fact, I’m going to force myself back there today to do some studying. Force myself. First of all I need a shower, but then I’m going to head over.

On Saturday I think we’re heading into Birmingham for a gay night out for Robbie’s birthday – hopefully, we’ll be going for a meal beforehand at a restaurant called Malaysian Delight (sounds like a whorehouse, no?).

Well, this has been quite a long one, but I figured that it was the best way to let people know how the interview went without having to relive it constantly. This will also test how many people read this thing – hopefully more people than normal do because my blog is now streamed onto my facebook profile, but I still think people ignore it. Bastards!

Anyhoo – I hope everyone is OK and that Reading Weeks are going well for everyone that gets one.


P.S. – I wrote “speeling” earlier on – for those of you who missed it, it was irony.

January 29, 2007

Typical Man Syndrome

Dear one and all – I can sit here and type and confess that I have a problem. I do suffer from TMS and I am not ashamed to admit it. In fact, just having something quintessentially manly about me provides me some comfort that maybe not all is wrong with me.

If you were sad/dedicated enough to scroll back through the annals of my blog, you would find that whenever I am stricken down with some horrendous ailment, it receives unwarranted blog coverage. I’d like to assure you that it won’t happen this time. I’d like to, but I won’t.

When I went to bed last night, I felt like shit warmed up, then chilled for a while, then consequently reheated. I had a fitful night of dreams of The West Wing, besides waking up numerous times to empty my bladder of the 13 pints of peach flavoured squash I imbibed during the course of a major WW marathon. When my alarm went off at 6.30am, I went about trying to get myself the day off school. For those of you who don’t know, I work one day at a secondary school observing German lessons. I’m not sure I managed to get through to anybody important and so they may just think I took it off for shits and giggles.

If asked to gauge my sickness, I would not rate it as dismissable as a cold. However, I have had the flu twice (the actual flu, people, not this thing people call th flu, knowing full well that there’s nothing wrong with them – when you have the flu you understand how people died of it) and I can assure you all that it isn’t quite as bad as a flu. So basically, I have a clu…or maybe a fold. And where does TMS come into it? I’ll tell you, guys and gals:

If I’m ill, if I have a scratchy throat, if my head is feeling a little blurry, people will know. People will be regaled of my entire medical history just to elicit some semblance of compassion. My friends roll their eyes if we get stopped along our path, as I tell person after person about how my life might as well stop until this thing has blown it’s course. In fact, your life might as well stop until I’m feeling better as well. There you have it – a textbook case of TMS.

That said, it doesn’t just have to be about being ill. When my glasses miraculously fell apart on Friday morning, after I finished weeping over the broken fragments of my life, I periodically went around telling everyone, shocking them with how I would have to spend £200 on a new pair. As it happens, they put a new arm on them for me, amounting to the total sum of £10 – a little less glamorous, I’ll admit, but it meant that I was able to consume aa tub of Haagen Dazs in its stead. In fact, I have a second in the freezer, so it wasn’t all bad!

Anyway – I suppose the point of this blog is to tell you all that I’m feeling sick (I hate the word poorly with a passion, so use it in reference to me at your peril) and want your sympathy. Also, as these blog entries get exported onto Facebook, even more people have access to it! Gifts can be sent via Tocil 34.


January 23, 2007

I'd Prefer To Castrate Myself Just To Have Something To Do

When one considers the rich heritage of the foreign film industry, thoughts turn to Bollywood or the works of artists such as Pedro Almodovar, Jean Renoir or perhaps even Franco Zefirelli. German cinema doesn’t really figure in the first things to spring to mind (I’m not about to relegate all German cinema to the trash – just a good portion of it).

I have just returned from having been subjected to the horror that is Ich war 19. Apparently a gritty war drama based on the memoirs of the director, Konrad Wolf, it fails to deliver. Big time. Not heard of it? Thank your lucky stars.

Counting the films that I’ve watched this year for my German Cinema module, I decided to try and list the films I’ve enjoyed. Out of a total of about 12 films, I’ve enjoyed 2. Perhaps, if I’m being liberal, 3. 3 out of 12 is not brilliant, I think you’ll agree. And what’s worse, is I’m pretty sure my lecturers are sat in their offices sniggering at the fact that they’re making us watch this tripe.

As I’m pretty certain what films I’m going to write on for my assessments, the rest of the term doesn’t seem too important to me at the moment, especially when I’m feeling as despondent about the module as I am now. When I consider spending 2 hours on Thursday afternoon discussing what I’ve just had to watch, I want to eat my own face. I went an entire term without missing a class. I return and suddenly my work ethic has gone and with regards to German cinema, I can pretty much assure you that it ain’t coming back! If I could drop it, I would without a second thought.

January 17, 2007

If Your Life Was A Film, What Would The Soundtrack Be?

Now, I don’t often indulge in these new facebook self-indulgent quizzes, but this one struck me as being quite a lot of fun to do, so here goes. This will prove once and for all that I have awful taste in music

“So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.”

Just in case you didn’t know anything about this, the bit in quotes above is all you need to know, in case you want to do it yourself and pass on the fun!

Opening Credits
Ebony Eyes by Stevie Wonder – quite a fun song to start, but I don’t have black eyes and I’m not a girl…still, let’s go with it

Waking Up
Stick To The Status Quo from High School Musical. This is going to be a gay movie.

First Day At School
Keep On by Will Young. Told you it’d be gay.

Falling In Love
Don’t Panic by Coldplay. Originally it was Children, Children from Bat Boy, but that has WAY too many connotations for my falling in love song.

Fight Song
Fall To Pieces by Razorlight. Not a bad song to fight to.

Breaking Up
Don’t Cry Baby by Madeleine Peyroux. So far these seem to be fitting quite well.

One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces by Ben Folds Five. I was a bit of an angry outsider kid, even at my prom. Well my first one. I rocked at the second one. At least, I thought I did.

I Imagine You’re Upset from Bat Boy. Well, if that’s all I’m thinking when I look back on my life, it will have been a sad life. A gay one, but a sad one as well.

Mental Breakdown
Nil by The Cardigans. Have only just listened to it, but it’s moody and instrumental; a good song to have a mental breakdown to, if you have to, I suppose.

Not Coming Home by Maroon 5. I’m just going to keep on driving…

Just Friends by Gavin DeGraw

My Love by Justin Timberlake. My extremely gay wedding will apparently be accompanied by a wannabe black man. Well, I suppose each to his own. It would probably have been my partner’s choice, if I’m honest – I can think of better wedding songs.

Birth Of Child
Family from Dreamgirls. This really seems to be falling into place. My iTunes seems to fit the movie of my life. Apart from the whole paedophilia thing. That isn’t my life. Honest. Don’t trust the Arts Centre Staff, they don’t know anything about me!

Final Battle
Batti, Batti, O Bel Masetto from Mozart’s Don Giovanni – I can see my battle scene being in slow motion. But even this song’s title is gay.

Death Scene
For Once In My Life by Michael Bublé. That’s not funny.

Funeral Song
And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going from Dreamgirls. I’m going to stay and haunt you all, bastards!

End Credits
Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You from The Last Five Years

Well, it’s all over and that fit scarily into it all. They all seem reasonably relevant for the events, I suppose! As much fun as this has been, and I’m sure you’ll agree, I’m off to bed! Night everyone! Come see my movie.


January 14, 2007

New Things

Well, after what must seem to everyone a week of pure, unadulterated drinking, I am ready to start Week 2 with guns blazing, and I have decided just to catch everyone up on what’s going on in my life at the moment.

Well, the soundtrack of the moment is that of Dreamgirls. Now, this may sound like a poorly-made Vietnamese adult movie, but it’s actually about a girl group trying to make it in America. It apparently closely resembles the rise of The Supremes, but I wouldn’t know anything about that, but it’s been made into a film with Beyoncé, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy. Arguably the main character is played by a woman called Jennifer Holiday who came 3rd in a series of American Idol. Well, guys and gals, it’s really great. Really great. In fact, it’s my album of choice at present. In fact, as I write this blog entry, I’m listening to it for the second time today. The first time was at the gym.

That leads me nicely onto my second point – I’ve started going back to the gym. Having had 4 weeks off (including Week 1 back at uni – I had an essay. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it) I braved the accusatory stares and looks of abandonment from the staff who grew to know me so well. Actually, that’s a lie – I’m sure I was just another one of those overweight jobbies who came in to try and burn some fat off their overly flabby thighs, but still, I can dream. Well, it was full of these newbies who seem to have made the clichéd New Year’s Resolution of getting fit. God, guys! Get with the programme. Going to the gym is so passé – I mean, I’ve been doing it for an entire term! Unfortunately, I’m having to take it slower than I did at the end of last term, because I don’t actually want to injure myself.

Tomorrow heralds the start of a new event in my life. I start at Coundon Court School in Coventry tomorrow as an assistant German teacher. Originally I was supposed to be going with Lisa, but due to circumstances beyond her control, she can’t make it, so I’m having to brave it alone. In preparation, I have bought a suit, a shirt and a tie. Consequently, I have had to learn to tie a tie, which, at 21, I’m sure most people will think of as an abomination that I didn’t already know. But in my defence, my dad used to tie them for me. All through my school career. Not much of an excuse, yeah? So anyhoo – I can now tie a Windsor knot. Not too confident on the old Half Windsor, but apparently a Windsor knot indicates confidence, so what better one to have when I have to sit in a classroom full of kids for half of tomorrow who have no desire to learn German whatsoever?

As much as Dreamgirls may be the CD of choice, my current reading material is not madde up of what you would expect: some Goethe or Schiller, or perhaps even some Faulkner or Plath for my American Literature course. No, I am addicted to a blog. It’s written by a guy in America. I’m not sure I have anything really in common with him. He’s Jewish. I’m a lapsed Catholic (can I even say that? Should I just say I’m religionless, or just apathetic?). He lives in Southern California. Last time I checked Coventry isn’t anything like that. He has kids. I’m pretty darn certain I don’t. He has a Hot Wife. I pulled a minger on Thursday night just because I wanted to pull. So yeah, he blogs about fatherhood, picking his nose, farting, his bowel movements, his observations about Starbucks and his dependence on caffeine. However, he’s as funny as hell and quite often I find myself passing a little urine when reading his posts. His name is Daniel Evans and his blog is at www.dadgonemad.com so i recommend you go read it. I’m so sad and addicted that at the moment I’m working my way through all his archives. Judge me all you want, but I don’t give a rat’s ass!

Oh, I managed to do everything I needed to do today. I went to the gym. Yay. I went shopping for food (today was the first day I’ve been, despite being back at uni for over a week!). I did laundry. I did my ironing. And I’ve started my diet, especially after having eaten a dirty burger and soggy chips from Battered yesterday evening. Yeah, yesterday evening was really fun too! Gaz and I went to the Music Centre to play some tunes, sing some songs and shoot some shit (that’s not a euphemism, by the way). We ended up staying there for over 3 hours! Neither of us realised until the hunger pangs started to set in and we went on a trek to Tescos for some Ben and Jerrys. It was shut. The petrol station kiosk was shut as well. By this time I was going a little bit mental and threatened to eat a passing hobo. Therefore, I ended up at Battered, last choice of those sober, as it seems to only sell things that can be stomached after a heavy night of drinking methylated spirits or some other such irritant. It wasn’t bad, but afterwards I was sort of wishing I’d gone with the hobo…

Well, I hope everyone is OK and still loving doing what they’re doing, unless they weren’t loving it in the first place, in which case you should get yourself a different occupation.


January 12, 2007

Why? Just why?

Why? That is the question upon my lips at the moment. Why do we go out, horny and alone and pull mingers? Or just people that we have no desire to see again, let alone pull?

Basically, tonight I went out, met a guy who I have a major crush on who pretty much blanked me, and as retaliation, I pulled a minger. Who did that help? Why did I do it? To be honest, it didn’t get back at anyone other than me. Just why? That’s all I can think of at the moment – why?

I made a resolution to not make do. Seems like that is falling by the wayside! I’m an arse. That’s all. No-one can deny it, because if they do they surely don’t know the true extent of what I’ll do.

Why?! God, I think it’s the first thing I can remember regretting the moment I did it.

Hope you’re all in better states than I am.


January 09, 2007

The Morning After The Night Before

Well, this isn’t a blog to say sorry for what I did in the throws of alcoholism last night, but oh, dear God, I was wasted. Therefore I don’t know what I was saying! I’m also a firm non-believer of the whole mantra of “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts”. It’s bollocks, because a drunk man doesn’t speak words, he just mumbles like a cretin. To be perfectly honest, I can’t recall me saying anything outrageous, so hopefully I didn’t. However, if I offended anyone then I suppose I should apologise. And I will, if needs be!

Well, that’s it – I wasn’t going to write a long one. I’m back at Uni now and everything is going great and I’m falling back in to the old way of life. I hope everyone is good and having an amazing time doing whatever it is they’re doing!


January 02, 2007


So, what will 2007 herald in the world of Mitch?

Well, lads and lasses, I really can’t say with too much certainty what will happen, but there are a few things that I would like very much to. First of all: Japan! I’m due to find out in February at the latest if I have an interview with the Jet Programme or not. If not, I’ll be applying to AEON and GEOS to do the same thing (for those of you who don’t know, my aim is to teach English in Japan for a year after I graduate). I’m really hoping that I get at least one of them to offer me a place because then I can have to opportunity to pick or choose a placement depending on where they offer me. For example, if Jet offers me a placement in the middle of nowhere, but AEON offer me a place in Kyoto, there won’t really be a choice involved!

What else would I like to happen? Well, I’m sick and tired of being the eternally single one who tags along and gets in the way of everyone else’s relationships. However, I’m very close to resolving for the new year not to make do with anything that is offered, like I usually do, and to be more picky. Somehow I can’t see that one lasting, but the sentiment is there.

I suppose I should hope that I stop being such a moody bastard and give my friends a rest, but again, I can’t see it happening.

What I can see happening, is me getting very annoyed at the gym when I go back. I can almost guarantee that it will be so much harder to get machines when there due to the influx of New Year do-gooders who will have made the resolution to get thin. Not that that isn’t one of my resolutions, it’s just it isn’t a specifically New Year thing. Luckily, I reckon most of them won’t last as long as February and then it should return to normal. Here’s hoping and betting on the lack of willpower in others!

I also hope that my Submissions entry is successful adn I egt to direct Bat Boy in the Studio from May 9th-12th. It will be an amazing opportunity and for once I’ve actually worked hard preparing something. Fingers crossed for a gay, thespian, musical-theatre 2007! Yay!

Right – will sign off. Does anyone care about my New Year’s musings? I’m not sure they do, but it’s nice t get them down and see what I’m confronting myself with in this, my 22nd year on the planet.

Keep well


December 18, 2006

An Early Christmas Message to You All

Dear all,

I write this to you from my kitchen (the internet wire stretches a long way) and wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. That said, I think there are only about 2 people who read this, but if you stumble across my blog/facebook profile, I wish you a good festive season as well. Not that I’ll be too bothered if you don’t have one because, let’s face it, if you’ve stumbled across this, then I obviously don’t know you. But I’m waffling.

Have a great time and don’t get too many hangovers. However, this may not be my last message to you all before Christmas as I am currently all alone every day and may dip back in to blogging to take my mind off it!


December 05, 2006

Drunk as Anything!

Hey everyone!

So I’m drunk! I’ve just come back from the last Top B of term and I’m really really drunk. However, I still hope to be at my English seminar tomorrow – I haven’t missed a class all term and I want to make it to the end of term without missing one. So hopefully, despite my inebriated state, I will manage to drag my sorry ass over there. Here’s hoping.

I also hope that everyone is doing well. I hope that everyone who signs up to the submissions panel will vote for me – Bat Boy rocks the cock!

Goodnight everyone – it’s taken me so long to write this post, ensuring that there are no mistakes. Hope everyone is well.


December 02, 2006

AIDS, man – dat shit'z wak

Alright you lot?

Yesterday heralded my watching of two shows. Not just one, but two. What a crazy slag I am.

At the moment, in the Cooler, MTW are performing I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change. I went along because I know some people in it, I wanted to scout around to see if there was anyone really good and just because I generally had nothing else better to do, besides working towards my degree. Oh, how impressed I was. I have never heard anything from the show before, but was pleasantly surprised. It’s all about dating, getting rejected, getting lucky, getting married and getting old. However, it’s really witty and clever and the show is so sharp and slick, MTW have outdone themselves once more.

Then straight afterwards we trekked to Birmingham to watch Breaking the Silence. It was about AIDS. There were songs about AIDS. There were monologues about AIDS. All in all, quite a HIV-filled night. That said, the singing was amazing, the monologues delivered with charm and care and on the whole an enjoyable night. Despite the fact that it was about AIDS. In fact, I don’t think I’m doing it enough justice. It is performed by quite a few Warwick students, some of whom have now graduated and left, but seeing as they’ve only rehearsed for 4 weekends, it was ridiculously impressive. At some points, I did feel I was being accused and blamed for something, and I can assure you, I’m almost 70% certain it wasn’t me that started the whole AIDS epidemic. Honest.

The night was concluded with a dirty burger that tasted quite suspect, probably because I’d not actually had any beer and just fancied a greasy late-night snack. God, it was rough. I think even Battered would have been better, and let’s face it; it’s not often I (or anyone else for that matter) says that!

Have to write an essay in German at some point. Don’t know if I can be arsed. But if I don’t work I may just sit here doing nothing for the rest of the day. Perhaps I’ll take a trip into Cov. In fact, that’s what I’ll doo – see, blogs do have a purpose. I can whitter on for hours and finally make a decision! Woo.

Hope everyone is good and well and happy and AIDS free. And if you aren’t, then there was a lot of singing last night just for you