October 23, 2004


The legend that is Tim Westwood graced the marketplace stage tonight
He is comically awful

He disturbs birthday celebrations with his faux-bigshot-celebrity schtick

He makes this noise when he plays a record "Woooooah, lets get fucked up tonight"

He calls all ladies "Babygirl"

He left the stage after twenty minutes of his set. This is because he is an old man who needs ample rest.

"Put your guns in the air...Put your guns in the air!

Put your guns down....There killin' my boys on the streets"

"There's a war goin' on!There's a war going on!"

"Everybody scream if you is a Fresher; Everybody scream if you is in Rootes; everybody scream if you is in Arthur Vick; everybody scream if you is in Benefactors"
(Why Can't We Scream If We Is In WESTWOOD?)

This professional and concise review brought to you by Jumpin Jack Howson and Crown Jules Maynard (currently missing, presumed exhausted from WESTWOOD lovin')

- 41 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Squirrel Monkey


    23 Oct 2004, 02:08

  2. cos we're gay

    23 Oct 2004, 02:10

  3. If Westwood was from Westwood, which hall would he be? Methinks Compton…

    23 Oct 2004, 10:36

  4. I saw him last year in the Union for a laugh. Anyway, I seem to remember him saying something like, "Everyone who says f*** lectures tomorrow – put your hands in the air!". This was on a Friday night…

    23 Oct 2004, 12:33

  5. Ha ha, that westwood can only go up in my opinion of him

    Straight Outta Compton

    23 Oct 2004, 13:08

  6. I went to Westwood and thought it was funking rubbish. What's wrong with playing songs for longer than a minute? Neigh, 45 seconds, neigh 30 seconds. I drew the line at cutting off "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" possibly the greatest rap song ever, after under a minute. That line has "Westwood is over-rated" written on it. Don't get me wrong, I get "it" I just don't want "it." Not for £4 of my hard loaned money anyway. Neigh, I wouldn't want it for free either.

    23 Oct 2004, 17:06

  7. Nice comment! :) But I think you mean "nay"- "neigh" is the sound a horse makes. Just so you know.

    24 Oct 2004, 13:07

  8. went to see Tim westwood last year as well. me thinks he's a nob. all old and shrivelled up

    he's some kind of self styled hip hop prophet who preaches all kinda rubbish and has no respect for the culture. and by the way. can't u let a tune play for more than half a minute? damnit! I felt like walking up there and bitch slapping him

    24 Oct 2004, 18:32

  9. I just have to put this up. sorry chris. link

    Only works on campus :(

    24 Oct 2004, 19:58

  10. No problem, sir – I was about to mention it myself, actually. Anyone who wants to hear the great man get his, by all means check out the above link, as recorded backstage at the Student Radio Awards 2002!

    And Holly, this does address the Compton issue in all its glory. You won't believe what you hear.

    25 Oct 2004, 11:56

  11. You're missing the point…everyone knows Westwood is a twat, you must've known that before you bought your ticket, so shame on you!!I went to see Westwood last year and this year and both nights I had a great time, hearing just thirty seconds of a song has got to be better than hearing exactly the same songs week in week out at Top B!!

    Don't get me wrong, I totally understand why you feel cheated out of your money, and I'm definitely not disagreeing with you that he's a knob, I just wanted to speak up for those that enjoyed the night, even if I am the only one who did!!

    25 Oct 2004, 20:38

  12. I went to westwood, and I had a great time.

    25 Oct 2004, 21:27

  13. Jack Howson

    i am not trying to tarnish a good night for anyone
    just saying what i thought and giving a few of his comedy moments to those not able to see him.

    i went simply cos all my mates were going and cos i liked the novelty of staring in disbelief as he talked rubbish over the intro of a song then immediately replaced it with a new record.
    strange, non?

    btw..classic radio link
    "are you aware you're wearing nail varnish

    26 Oct 2004, 12:43

  14. I totally agree with Nicola! Everybody knows that Westwood is a knob conker, but the fact that he is one all of the time, is hugely entertaining. I had a great time and fair enough, he does only play a minute or so of each song, but at least he played some good ol' classics that had you all reminiscing.

    A quick note to the student who commented for the Boar this week…most know that Westwood is sexist, promotes violence, cannabis and anything else that not everybody would agree with, so why even bother going, if you know what he is going to say may cause you offence?!!

    26 Oct 2004, 17:19

  15. That radio recording is hilarious, even though he gets in the somewhat obvious snipe "Are you aware that you are white", Westwood then got him back with some intelligence of his own saying how he's not going to pull wearing nail varnish. Brilliant :D

    27 Oct 2004, 00:36

  16. It doesn't take intelligence to notice that someone's wearing nail varnish…

    28 Oct 2004, 15:53

  17. Westwood lover


    Lets get fucked up tonight!

    28 Oct 2004, 19:45

  18. WAMMO

    29 Oct 2004, 11:49

  19. Mista Montana

    Yeh westwood is all good

    come check out www.conspiracyuk.com – for UK Hip Hop 24 7

    17 Nov 2004, 15:24

  20. OH MY DOOM! jack u will be pleased to know….i went to Tim Westwood (yes again!) at a club in my sunny home town of sheffield last night and….......he walked around the club in the beginning of the night before it got busy and was greeting people.

    i hugged him and got a comical close up picture of his face! u will LOVE it! i looked at the photo and cracked up in front of him, then said 'oh u look great' and he whispered in my ear (like the pimp daddy he is) "Thanks babe!"

    favourite quote from the night:
    "all the guys who is gonna get their dicks out tonight, SCREAM!"



    p.s. i have a nasty comment on my JECBH blog, i think all ure mates hate me, which makes me sad. it was supposed to be a bit of fun! what do i do?!

    09 Dec 2004, 14:30

  21. hey hey, send me the photo!


    (my friends probably hate me aswell??)

    Did you ring me?Ring again….lol

    09 Dec 2004, 15:51

  22. Julia Maynard

    haha! he's such a twat, there was video footage of past DJing all around the club and i looked up at one point and there was just a video of him riding a bike! most odd. he looked hilarious! will try work out how to send the photo, but its on my phone. ooooooh technology.

    i doubt they hate u! has anyone said anything to u?! apologise for me.

    yeh called u, then u called me and we missed each other again and again which sucks. will try u again at some point.


    10 Dec 2004, 12:30

  23. Digital.Diablo

    Tim Westwood blows goats. So I hear anyway. Fine, I don't mind him being into wapping e.t.c., but he doesn't need to act like that. Great page!

    17 Feb 2005, 17:23

  24. westwood lover!

    i jus wanna say that i love westwood… he is the sexist man alive!!!!

    24 Aug 2005, 15:39

  25. Steve H

    If I was black I think I would be offended
    Do you think he paid someone to shoot him so he would appear notourious
    As it is I thinks he is probably the biggest twat to ever pull a shirt over his head (except George W)

    I’ve just heard him on the radio and had to get this off my chest, can’t believe they have such prick on national radio he is even worse than Chris Moyles but not much.

    I feel much better now.

    Steve H

    12 Aug 2006, 00:07

  26. steve b

    has anyone seen him on that crap”pimp my ride”the one were they do up a old cortina or a mk1 fiesta,what a dick..

    16 Aug 2006, 18:52

  27. jacqueline lewis

    leave westwood alone he is not old he’s a young man wyth talent as other people are jelous of him, he is the best dj in world i have eva seen, the hottest dj in town baby, ho ho ho ho…

    28 Nov 2006, 10:20

  28. johnny b

    yeh has nayone heard mista montana on Conspiracy – this guy is like the westwood that plays dope shit and also haslike 10 guests every friday – yeh i agree westwood be very scared!!

    05 Dec 2006, 17:11

  29. Skin Tight

    DIE…. y does no1 c how much of a compete freak Tim Westwood is. Does he not c how much of a nOOB he makes outa himself. omg. wht a faggot

    27 Jan 2007, 23:32

  30. paul

    yeh montana is a million miles away from tim westwood – mista montana is better than tim westwood by miles

    18 Feb 2007, 02:20

  31. jacqui

    tim westwood is a sexiest radio 1 dj in the world eva created, on this planet, man kind he is the nicest man, he’ kind generass lovin guy u can meet, big tim westwood, sexy in the flesh, he is hot meat.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    27 Apr 2007, 10:15

  32. jacqui

    tim westwood, is the sexiest guy on the planet, he is meat on heat, lovin guy to meet dont knock him we should be prowd of him, leave his age out of it it’s a number, i’m prowd of him it’ not nice to call him name’s wat has he done 2 u . L8r’s people

    11 May 2007, 12:03

  33. jml

    westwood is no.1, DJ, tim westwood is a true gentleman regardless of his age” is a number. I’m a true tim westwood lover myself, stop picking on him wat has he done 2 u , he also has feelins and heart of soul”, radio1 big dawg dj hott heavy & deep in the game”, we need more tim weswood message’s the hottest dj in the world, pow pow pow,pow, it’s nice when westwood calls girls, women, ladies, baby girl, ma, shortie, it’s sexy, “SO FALL BACK 2 THATWESTWOOD IS THE KING OF THE CAR GAME” “HOLLA 2 THAT

    16 May 2007, 14:40

  34. Fanzile

    yo mista montana is going to take tim westwood’s job – did anyone hear the Conspiracy show this friday where mista montana interviewed papoose, marley marl, rass kass and about 10 other artists? thsi guy has interviewed everyone amn and his show is so so dope – even jay-z tuned in !

    22 May 2007, 00:11

  35. Sarah P

    wetwood is wicked. stop bieng so rude. your all jelous because he gets more girls than you and he has more money. so there

    04 Jun 2007, 16:42

  36. george

    hi im the boy the mar fuckin king pin of the card game right , m just so yas NO i will be performing again 1 wance im high with some of my urban legend kings m but im actually on the market u know rich boy still selling it , so given some time then i think u will be able then 2 finally meet the coy wonder after all these years eh , tell me who the fuck would have thought i would grow up 2 be this large eh but hey first opportunity feel free 2 holla much love 2 my dogs in da hood keep it real my hommies

    08 Jun 2007, 18:25

  37. george

    hi again

    08 Jun 2007, 18:26

  38. Jack sparrow

    how dope is mista montana?? i caught his show last night

    16 Jun 2007, 22:38

  39. J@Z

    did anyone hear the show last week where montana had like 30 live guests ???? it was classic radio – he’s the truth

    17 Aug 2007, 16:15

  40. jacqueline

    Yo BABY sexy tim westwood has won an mobo award 2007, the sexiest dj alive on this planet also on pimp my ride uk MTV & Channel 5

    sexy tim westwood lots of love to u baby .


    24 Sep 2007, 17:02

  41. Robbie

    u r Right tim westwood did win the mobo award but booed a lot but at the end of the day noone wants to here there grandad Rap coz im pushing 30 hes kicking 50s door down what im trying to say is he is a nob thats right

    18 Nov 2007, 16:57

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  • u r Right tim westwood did win the mobo award but booed a lot but at the end of the day noone wants … by Robbie on this entry
  • Yo BABY sexy tim westwood has won an mobo award 2007, the sexiest dj alive on this planet also on pi… by jacqueline on this entry
  • did anyone hear the show last week where montana had like 30 live guests ???? it was classic radio –… by J@Z on this entry
  • how dope is mista montana?? i caught his show last night by Jack sparrow on this entry
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