All entries for November 2004

November 29, 2004

Green high as a crow's nest after polished pirate performance

Edward Green had the following words of note regarding his team's demolition of Original Pirate Material.
"Avast me harties, them land lubbing pirates be beaten sound. Me beauties played like drunken sailors and made them scallions walk the plank. There be much grog tonight, aaaaaaar. Shiver me timbers captain ahab. Them bilge rats be bung dahn the bung hole smartly, aaaaaarrr. C'mere me beauties, we be playing the hornpipe tonight. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!

November 26, 2004

Match 5 – 26th November 2004: Original Pirate Material v Jack Flash

'Pirates' capsized in a 'Flash' storm

Challengers Original Pirate Material put up a rather weak fight against the Flash this week. Two weeks after their previous encounter, the opposing team looked entirely different to the same team that Jack Flash edged past 2 – 1. Debutant goalkeeper Pete Williams made his first start, as did striker Rich Mallinson and they were treated to a stroll of a game. Jack Flash blew away the opposition in what was a stuttering encounter, with neither team managing to put together many successful examples of "flowing football" in the first half. The deadlock was broken very early on with a debut goal from Rich, who then went on to bag his hattrick inside 10 minutes. The Pirates managed to pull a goal back, but the final result of this game was never in doubt as a goal from Ed Green and a left foot drive from Mark gave the Flash a 5 – 2 half time lead. The second period saw Ed Green allow Pete to relinquish his position in goal and score 2 goals. In a game where everyone wanted to stake their claim at the top of the top goals leaderboard, Ed rounded the keeper and seemingly offered John the chance to tap the ball in, before smashing the ball in himself. However, Ed Green unselfishly turned provider for two of Mark's subsequent goals. The first a kick in from the left hand side was converted instictively by Mark, followed by a superlative headed goal, also from a kick in. Ed Green sent an arcing ball over from the left side into the central channel, with the keeper wrong footed, Mark showed his elation as he recorded his second headed goal of the season, Ed remarked, "a bullet!". The flagging opposition allowed Mark to put himself top of the leaderboard, as he was granted time and space to slot the ball neatly between the keeper's legs. The final score 13 – 3, a confidence booster, and hopefully useful shooting practice after lacking finishing in the tougher encounters.

Match Stats


Original Pirate Material 3 – 13 Jack Flash

Team (Goals) Man Of The Match

Ed Green (3)
Mark (4)
John (1)
Pete (2)
Rich (3)
Ed Smith

Top Scorers After Match 5

1 Mark (8)
=2 Piers (7)
=2 Ed Green (7)
=2 John (7)
5 Rich (3)
6 Pete (2)
=7 Rob (1)
=7 Ed Smith (1)

League Position


November 23, 2004

Manager takes positives from negative day

In a post match interview with club journalist and friend of the club AJ Vickerstaff, Jack Flash manager had the following words to say of his team's first defeat in….a while.
"I think we can take positives from this game, we were certainly not outplayed on the day and I really couldn't believe we conceded 8 goals. I think we have three problems at the moment, profligacy in front of goal, weak marking at times and a goalkeeper. On the goalkeeping front, i'm looking to bring in a new man who'll actually be able to turn out for us, in the mean time, we have Peter Williams confirmed for friday's game. If we get a good result against OPM on friday I think the strikers confidence will soar, we know Piers and Mark have the ability at this level so i'm not worried. As for marking, I think it's a question of experience at this level and it'll come in time. We're still in 5th place and I'm confident we can come back and beat SFNMs

November 20, 2004

Match 4 – 19th November 2004: Jack Flash v Southern Fairies, Northern Monkeys

Fairies make a monkey out of the Flash

In this cold Friday afternoon clash, Jack Flash met their sternest test in the form of Southern Fairies, Northern Monkeys. A well organised opposition weathered pressure at the back well and turned this pressure round very effectively on the counter-attack. SFNM took a 3 goal lead against stand-in goalkeeper Ed Green, when John pulled a goal back with a determined run in from the left channel. The pressure from the opposition was too much for the Flash however, as they slumped to a 5 2 half time scoreline, another from John. The second half saw Ed substituted for Piers in goal, but with the defence boosted, the attack was missing something, some promising forays into the Monkeys' half were fruitless as Jack Flash were yet again rueing missed chances. Mark managed to pull back a consolation with a run in from the right, followed by a well-placed shot with the outside of the foot. Captain Ed Green was left hoping for improvements in marking and finishing, "we've got 4 strikers, and bad finishing" as Jack Flash were hit with their first competitive defeat since their 19 2 cup exit last year. The scoreline 8 3 to the challengers.

Match Stats


Jack Flash 3 8 Southern Fairies, Northern Monkeys

Team (Goals) Man Of The Match

Ed Green
Mark (1)
John (2)

Top Scorers After Match 4

1 Piers (7)
2 John (6)
3 Ed Green (4)
4 Mark (4)
5 Rob (1)
6 Ed Smith (1)

League Position


November 16, 2004

League and Results Week 8


  1. The Lumberjacks
  2. What's Funny About Fanny?
  3. Southern Fairies, Northern Monkeys
  4. Isoc United
  5. Jack Flash
  6. Original Pirate Material
  7. The Armadillos
  8. Back Of The Fridge
  9. Real Kirby
  10. Dr Butter's Dapper Gents

Results (Challengers v Challenged)

What's Funny About Fanny? 2 – 1 Isoc United

The Armadillos WO - WO Original Pirate Material

JACK FLASH 3 - 8 Southern Fairies, Northern Monkeys

November 10, 2004

Manager pleased with pirate performance

In a post match interview with tabloid journalist A.J Vickerstaff, Jack Flash player-manager Edward Green had the following words of note regarding yesterday's performance.
"At the end of the day we're delighted to have come away with the result. To be honest, goals change games and this was a game of two halves. It was end-to-end stuff, but I'm really pleased how the lads reacted to the pressure. I had a sneaking feeling throughout the game that it was there to be won. Early doors, we dominated them and could really have run away with the game. We had a fresh pair of legs up our sleeve and I think in the end that made the difference.

Match 3 – 9th November 2004: Jack Flash v Original Pirate Material

Flash struggle to a win against Pirates

In a game which Jack Flash should have won much more comfortably, Original Pirate Material were lucky not to have conceded more goals and lucky to score at all. A lucky own goal gave first blood to the challengers, Mark scuffing a cross from John towards the Pirates goal for it to be converted via a defensive confusion. Before the break Jack Flash spurned many chances with Mark and John coming close as defensive work from Rob and Ed allowed them the space to run at defenders. The Flash were hit with a setback just before the interval with a controversial goal from a kick-in, possibly converted by Rob on the line. A good team mentality allowed Jack Flash to get over this hurdle and go into the second half more positively, re-establishing the attacking dominance they had in the first period. Dave and Paolo's attacking presence was noticeable on the field in their league debuts, against the 5-man Pirates. Good determination from John allowed him to poke the ball through to Mark for an easy, but emphatic, finish for the winning goal. A win for the Flash was deserved but only just achieved. After the game the team speculated that, against better teams in League D, the finishing of chances would be key to victory.

Match Stats


Jack Flash 2 – 1 Original Pirate Material

Team (Goals) Man Of The Match

Ed Green
Mark (1)
Original Pirate Material (1)

Top Scorers After Match 3

1 Piers (7)
2 Ed Green (4)
3 John (4)
4 Mark (3)
5 Rob (1)
6 Ed Smith (1)

League Position


November 04, 2004

Harvey –

Delighted chairwoman of the Jack Flash supporters club Catherine Harvey had the aforementioned words to say regarding her first witnessing of the mighty JF in action. She also commented that Mark Johnston's ending of his goal drought was possibly a pivotal moment in the "Flash" season. She added "I'm sure all his folks back home in Blackpool will be ecstatic, we've waited too long for this moment". She was even more laudatory when it came to Edd Smith's first ever strike for the Flash, "it's a miracle, that's all I can say, I thank the man above for this day". However, she was less than impressed by the goalkeeper-cum-sweeper-cum-midfield dynamo-cum-target man's gloved antics further up the pitch. "To be honest, it was disgraceful, Ed [Smith] ought to stick those goves where the sun don't shine and cease with his incessant tomfoolery". "I thought all the lads did well on tuesday, it was a good team effort, keep it up!".

November 02, 2004

Match 2 – 2nd November 2004: Jack Flash v The Armadillos

Chairwoman of the supporters club treated to a rout.

Miss Harvey attended what turned out to be a formality of a game against The Armadillos. The Armadillos showed early signs of weakness, allowing Mark to get on the scoresheet for the first time this season, also a landmark first headed goal for the club for the misfiring striker. Every player on the pitch managed to get onto the scoresheet this game, partly due to the outfield play of Ed Smith, who was today's goalkeeper. Expert, and at times fortunate, defending allowed Jack Flash to register their first clean sheet of the season.

Match Stats


Jack Flash 9 – 0 The Armadillos

Team (Goals) Man Of The Match

Ed Green (1)
Ed Smith (1)
Piers (2)
Mark (2)
John (2)
Rob (1)

Top Scorers After Match 2

1 Piers (7)
2 Ed Green (4)
3 John (4)
4 Mark (2)
5 Rob (1)
6 Ed Smith (1)

League Position


November 01, 2004

Match 1 – 26th October 2004: Jack Flash v The Mighty Phantoms

Phantoms trounced at Halloween

In an impressive competitive debut Piers scored 5 goals, matching the club record for a debutant made by Pikey last season. Captain Ed Green also got himself on the scoresheet with some impressive forward runs from defence. Perhaps most surprising was Mark's inability to find the net after his 21 goals last season were the backbone of the Flash's impressive unbeaten stroll through Term 2.

Match Stats


Jack Flash 10 – 4 The Mighty Phantoms

Team (Goals) Man Of The Match

(c) Ed Green (3)
Piers (5)
John (2)

November 2004

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