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February 04, 2008

Election Continuation

I apologise. I was all wrong on my opinions of Mo Surve. I apologise for possibly misleading you into believing that he did have some form of personal integrity. Why? Well, it’s just that I’ve since discovered that he is using the obvious pun of his name on his publicity:
Surve

Damn. I knew it was too good to be true.
Anyway – I now present today’s poster-al discoveries:
Firstly, these signs from ‘Tommo’, running for president, that have sprung up all round campus:
Tommo

My personal favourite is the one that he’s tied to the Belisha Beacon on the zebra crossing next to Humanities. Perfect for confusing motorists and causing accidents. However, there’s one massive flaw that he seems to have overlooked – when I last read the Highway Code, it said that triangular-shaped road signs are ones that are giving warnings of potential hazards. Not thought that one through properly, have you now? However, he does raise a good point with the issue of the unnecessary printer credit pages that print off every time you print something. He’s even gone to the trouble of going round the computer rooms collecting a load and sticking them up:
Printing

I actually went at looked at the names on each page to see if one of mine was on there, and if so, I could take legal action against him suggesting that I support his campaign, but it wasn’t to be. But I advise everyone reading this to do the same, you never know!
Ty Hayes seems to have a theme running through his posters:
Tie

Yes, well done you, that’s very good.
My favourite slogan of the day (well, I did see it on Friday, but forgot about it), and the most nonsensical one so far is:
Socs

This is mainly because I can’t fathom what the frig the slogan is supposed to even mean, so, Lucy, if you’re reading – try harder next time! Obviously the she found the ‘socs’ pun so amazing, she rushed into producing the posters without stopping to consider whether she was talking bollocks.
The most indegistible poster so far comes from one Chris Baker:
Baker

Can I be bothered to stand and read this? Umm, no! The only thing that I could be bothered to look at were the balls he’s used as bullet points. Well, at least I should be thankful he’s not followed the trend and used a dirty slogan.
However, his poster isn’t as off-putting as James Marvin’s – he’s depicted himself wielding a megaphone, so he’s bottom of my list.
Megaphone

Now, if a candidate were to suggest banning the use of all megaphones in a 5-mile radius of Campus, they’d get a sure-fire vote from me. When a girl from Warwick Snow started yelling though one in Cholo last week, it only went to reinforce my view that anyone who uses one should have it shoved up their arse at the earliest possible opportunity for the sake of mankind (and some peace and quiet too). Sorry, went off on a bit of a rant there. Also we have a very arty and trendy (i.e. on cardboard) portrait of welfare candidate Matt. And I love the terrible formatting by Nut Boy on his (surprise, surprise) cardboard poster:
format

I think he wrote ‘ISTACHIO’ and ‘RESIDENT’, and forgot to put the ‘4’ (shudder) in until it was too late. Anyway, at lunchtime today, I ended up being present at the candidates Q&A session in the marketplace. I wasn’t there intentionally. Honest! I was going to South Central, so ended up observing proceedings from the balcony. I caught the end of the Presidential debate (ooh, sounds really American!), which featured Pistachio, James the Conservative, Road Sign Tommo, and, surely the best candidate of all, Philip T. Woolley, dressed as Caesar. Seriously, anyone that couldn’t really give much of a crap how the Union is run next year should vote for him. Why? Let’s see some of his suggestions (from both his manifesto, and the Q&A):

    • Replace One World Week with a Blood Sports Week

    • Convert Union North into a Casino (on the grounds that there’s no alcohol there), and use the profits to buy the University, and give everyone 2:1s, so we can just have a 3-year piss-up

    • Take a ‘Yeah, Whatever’ stance on everything

    • Tackle environmental concerns by releasing statistics that the Union has 0% emissions

    • Tackle bureacracy by eliminating paper from the Union


    Plleeeeaaaseeee vote for him – it’ll be bloody funny if he wins!
    I also caught the Education debate – launched by Mo Surve, who walked on stage to a cheer when shouting his ‘Here to Surve’ tagline. The thing is, I’m worried people were actually falling for it… Then came Mr Zaw, who had a well-prepared speech, but was blown apart by actual questions. It turns out he’s anti-9am lectures, which, as I discussed last year, makes him an idealistic pillock. Speaking of Zaw, he’s also got a tagline in his manifesto: I Came, I Zaw, I Conquered. That’ll seem silly if you don’t get elected…
    And finally, we had Peter the Conservative (we have a trio of them, by the way – who, confusingly, say they’ll bring us an ‘Independent’ Union). He definitely had the mannerisms of someone wishing to exact revenge on someone/something – so there may be violent consequences if he wins – so vote for him!

    March 10, 2007

    God bless ignorance!

    A quote that I heard from a guy I passed outside Coventry station earlier today:

    “Virgin Trains are shit, they crash all the time”

    Now let us recall the history of accidents involving Virgin Trains:

    • Winsford, 23rd June 1999 – Driver of First North Western Class 142 passes signal at danger, coming to a stop in the path of a Virgin Class 87 heading from London to Glasgow. Accident caused by SPAD by 142 and lack of catch points that would have prevented it running into the path of the 87, not by any fault of Virgin’s.
    • Copmanthorpe, 25th September 2006 – Class 221 collides with car on level crossing, killing the car driver. Caused by driver of car obstructing path of train, not by any fault of Virgin’s.
    (and the one the guy was without doubt actually referring to)
    • Grayrigg, 23rd February 2007 – Class 390 derails due to components missing from set of points, no fault of Virgin.

    Yep, not one actually caused through any fault of Virgin. Why do people say such ridiculous statements based on incomplete facts? Is it just because they can’t be bothered to be fully informed, so it’s just easier to attach blame to the most prominent individual/company involved (i.e. the company whose train derailed two weeks ago)?

    Aaaaarrrrggghhh!


    February 08, 2007

    Election Fever Hits Campus! Part 4!

    Firstly I’ve got to start off with an apology. Due to me not feeling very well this afternoon, I went home early, so didn’t manage to find much of interest. Also, this entry will be quite brief for the same reason.

    Anyway, stepping off the 12 at the Arts Centre bus stop put me fact to face with these two:

    Pistachio

    Pecker poster

    First we have Peter ‘Pistachio’ Ptashko (who I’ve meant to write about before but keep forgetting), whose main campaign ploy seems to be highlighting the fact that his surname sounds a little bit like a variety of nut. Cue lots of puns along the lines of ‘You’ll go nuts for his policies’.

    And underneath we have what is probably the crudest campaign slogan of the year – “If you don’t have a pecker, vote for Becca!” i.e. the condition of not having a cock is a good enough reason to vote for her apparently. Does this include men who’ve had unfortunate accidents, I wonder?

    And finally, the award for most amazing lack of modesty goes to the self-titled “Great Gadsby”. Well done for completely not making yourself look like a dickhead. It’s also interesting to note the bizarre rememblace between his campaign logo and the shed plates steam locomotives used to have on them.

    Anyway, that’s as far as its going to go campaign analysis-wise. Stay tuned for the results of the facebook experiment!

    p.s. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading all this rubbish…


    February 07, 2007

    Election Fever Hits Campus! Part 3!

    I was quite worried up until earlier today. I was worried that this wouldn’t be a legally-valid union election. Why, you ask? Well, up until today, I wasn’t aware we had the token candidate-with-stupid-hair (which no union election could possibly be without). But now I can rest assured that we have one – it’s Al running for president!

    Al Poster

    Wahey! Anyway, he came into R0.21 between MathStats and Metric Spaces and gave us his speech. One of his main policies (and a possible contender for stupidest policy of the campaign) is to improve access to the University, particularly with regard to the morning and evening peaks. The following is taken from his manifesto:

    “I will lobby Coventry Council to improve the road system around campus in an effort to reduce the traffic jams that occur on Gibbet Hill Road every morning and evening, this will mean less congestion, therefore less environmental harm, quicker journey times and off campus students can wake up later for their morning lectures.”

    I personally would love to hear his suggestions for doing this. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be as simple as him walking into Coventry Town Hall, saying “hey guys, can you not do something about all the roads round Warwick Uni?” and they reply “yeah, now you mention it, it could use a little tweak. All we need to do is spend £5 million quid, demolish a few houses here, build across some Green Belt there, no problem. In fact we were just waiting for you to ask. Then all you students can have an extra 5 minutes in bed!” Yeah right! I personally find it difficult to see how the existing network could be improved without basically flattening it all and starting again.

    Also (and several friends agree with me) he seemed slightly drunk during his presentation, swaying a little and slurring his words slightly. But as I have no proof of this fact, I am unable to call him Alcoholic Al…

    Before this, we had “Mitz Mistry” (that can’t be her real name, surely?) give us an address. Nothing of note in her manifesto/speech (basically take a bit from everyone else and you’ve pretty much got hers), but she has resorted to the (admittedly imaginative) tactic of walking round with a giant version of one of her fliers blu-tacked onto the back of her jumper (and a ‘vote Mitz’ badge on the front). Makes her look kind of like one of those people you see in London dressed in a front-and-back billboard with ‘Golf Sale’ or ‘Theatre Tickets’ written on it.

    And that’s about it for today. I’ll probably do my final campaign-related entry tomorrow, and Facebook experiment results hopefully on Sunday night if I have time (parents down + algebra assignment = not much free time this weekend!).


    Election Fever Hits Campus! Part 2A!

    Follow-up to Election Fever Hits Campus! Part 2! from Ian Henderson's Warwick Blogs Adventure

    To kick off with, I’m just going back to a couple of things I said in my previous post.

    Firstly, here’s the hallowed cardboard election poster:

    Cardboard Poster

    No expense spared, quite clearly. And here’s a flyer I was handed from L3 earlier featuring a certain Pam:

    Pam


    NO IT BLOODY DOESN’T!!

    Also, note the fact that this makes no mention of the fact she’s only proposing it for 2nd and 3rd years, contradicting her manifesto.

    Anyway, that’s all for now. I’ve vowed to actually get on with some work now, but I should be back later to regail you with stories from today.

    Bye for now!


    February 06, 2007

    Election Fever Hits Campus! Part 2!

    Something really weird happened at 9 o’clock yesterday morning. Walked into R0.21 for PDEs to find two bored-looking people sat on the platform-y thing (you know, the bit that looks like it should spin through 360° (or 2π radians for you mathematicians) half way through every lecture à la Numberwang, with the lecturer declaring ‘Let’s Rotate the Boards!’, to reveal Frankenstein or something on the other side), and I thought ‘Sigh, more officer wannabes’. As it turned out, they were Olley Hambrey, running for president, and Andy McEwan, running for FDSO. I didn’t like Olley, as he came across as being a little overconfident (although it may actually be because I was jealous of his muscles), but I was impressed by Mr McEwan, as his speech seemed to imply that he is actually looking to give students what they actually want – cheaper drinks, cheaper (and more) food and actually going back to running the Union (I apologise profusely for the cliché) ‘by students for students’, rather than being a business designed to extort as much money from us as possible, thus putting people off from visiting. Let’s just hope the Union isn’t stuck too deeply in its rut to get itself out again! So he’s my only potential vote so far. I’ve decided not to vote for Joe Shepard, as, upon reading his manifesto he wants to “engage with Warwick Accommodation as regards its draconian policies on cannabis…”. I’m sorry, but I don’t see why Cannibis use should be tolerated, as it is an illegal drug, so any known use should be punishable, particularly as other hall residents don’t want to have to put up with other people smoking it, and any punishment would, ultimately, be for the students own good. So I ain’t votin’ for him no more!

    Anyway, on to today, and the first thing of note was the noticeboard outside L3. The highlights were Katt’s (I think) 30/40-odd A4 flyers posted along the wall above the noticeboard, barely legible to anyone from any angle. Oh, and Joe Shephard’s title of most unprofessional looking poster campaign has been stolen by Kate Bennet (Sports Officer) who had ‘Vote Kate for Sports Officer’ written in black marker on a torn-off piece of cardboard. I wouldn’t have been too surprised if I’d turned it over to find ‘The Midlands’ written on the other side. Full marks for recycling, nil points for presentation.

    Then it was on into L3, where the blackboards kindly greeted us with possibly the daftest policy of all the candidates:

    L3 Boards

    It’s Pam Stallard and her proposed banning of 9am lectures. I admit they’re not exactly the most fun things in the world, but surely if we were to start an hour later, we’d more than likely just finish an hour later instead. Which I’d rather not do (and would play havoc with extra-curricular stuff like sports fixtures and stuff). Plus, if lectures were made to start at 10 instead people would just get up an hour later instead, and, before long, people would start saying ‘ban 10am lectures’. Let’s also not forget that the ‘real world’ starts at 9, if not earlier. Plus the ability to go to bed an hour later would be cancelled out by finishing an hour later, so we’d be back to square one anyway. In short, please don’t vote for this frankly ridiculous, poorly thought through policy. Also don’t vote for her on the grounds she wrote ‘vote Pam 4 Education officer’. Writing ‘4’ is just sheer laziness, completely unprofessional and some vain attempt to sound cool. Also (out of picture) she drew a heart. ‘Nuff said.

    That’s my ranting over with for this episode. Watch this space for the results of my Facebook experiment and maybe some more reaction to the whole elactions saga.

    p.s. Can anyone explain why the Boar used a picture of Spiderman on the cover of the Manifesto Booklet? What relevence does it have (if any at all)?


    February 02, 2007

    Election Fever Hits Campus!

    Whoop de doo! It’s that time of year again, where half the Amazonian rainforest gets pinned to notice boards around campus, 5 minutes are lost at the start of every lecture and there’s more chalk on walls, pavements and the like than there actually is on blackboards. Yes it’s election time once again, where a load of people who clearly aren’t busy enough already go around and try to convince us that they’re going to change the union for the better and make a load of promises that will make the university nothing short of perfect, without any suggestion that in fact it’s all just so they can put it on their CVs.

    I must say that I didn’t really pay that much attention last year, partly due to not being entirely sure what was actually going on, but now here’s my own view on the first 8 hours and 35 minutes of election campaigning!

    The highlight of all the pre/post lecture speeches today must have been where insert name who was running for insert post (can’t remember details unfortunately, which highlights the effectiveness of her speech) came in at the end of Maths of Random Events and asked ‘Can a take a minute of your time please?’, which got quite a loud shouted response of ‘No!’ from the audience (it was the last lecture of the day), although she pleaded and one kind soul mumbled ‘Yes’, after which she gave us the quickest speech I’ve ever heard (impressive time at less than 10 seconds)! At the start of said lecture, there was also Anna, running for President, who was the complete opposite of this and treated us to a tirade that must have lasted a good 2/3 minutes (with the added bonus of going round in circles it seemed). Anyway, onto the poster campaign highlights of the day!

    The (so far) two most irritating campaigns seem to me to be these:
    Elecion Posters One

    Here we have the most annoying slogan in ‘CommuniKate’, which, to be fair, probably took her a good few minutes to come up with. She also seems to enjoy sitting in the pub alot too, judging by the background image. Underneath we see Matthew Lloyd’s campaign to be whatever it is he wants to be, which seems to consist entirely of finding words and names that rhyme with Lloyd (so far Freud, Annoyed…). Clever. Finally, my favourite campaign so far (which I still can’t fathom whether he’s actually being serious or taking the piss), is that of Joe Shepherd:

    Shepherd

    Nice to see someone claim that it’s not actually going to be put on their CV, which is a breath of fresh air (although I suppose we’d never actually know if he ever did or not). Another of his reads something to the effect of, ‘He’s actually been to an AGM’ complete with a drawing of a guy asleep on the officers’ table at the meeting. Also, I love the complete lack of professionalism in the poster design – so he’s not taking it too seriously it seems. Nevertheless, he’s the only person that I’m so far tempted to actually vote for!

    Anyway, I hope to be back for more mindless, poorly informed ramblings about the elections over the next week. I hope you greatly look forward to them (although I would understand why you wouldn’t…)!


    October 16, 2006

    Things that irritate me about students on buses…

    Right, after having put up with all of these annoying things on the 12/U1 for over a year, I feel its about time I vented all my frustration via a blog entry. I know some of these things are probably fairly trivial, but here we go anyway…

    • Queue-jumping. This is particularly bad at the Arts Centre, Sports Centre and Train Station bus stops. People who arrive last at the bus stop, then just waltz straight onto the bus in front of everyone else as if they are somehow more important. Just yesterday for example, when waiting for the bus in Earlsdon, I arrived with two girls there before me, and another arrived after me. Lo and behold, the person who was last to arrive decides to get on first, and I (being polite and all) let the two people who were there before me get on, which did seem to confuse them slightly, as clearly someone being polite in such a way is a rare occurence on the number 12.
    • People who press the bell for a bus stop when it’s already been pressed. Once I counted 5 seperate presses for one stop. It’s unnecessary and, well, I just find it irritating.
    • People who are sat at the back of the top deck and only get up for their stop when the bus stops, then wonder why the driver drives off before they can get off.
    • People who clearly have never had to regularly use buses in the past, and haven’t a clue about general politeness, such as giving up seats for the elderly/pregnant, playing music at an unnecessary volume (admittedly more of a chav-realted problem), being patronising towards bus drivers, and never saying thank-you etc to drivers. Politeness doesn’t cost much.
    • People who, when standing, don’t move down the bus. Use a bit of bloody common sense, please!
    • People who get on before everyone has got off, getting in their way in the process. More common sense, please!
    • People who shout abuse at bus drivers for driving off when they themselves haven’t got to the stop in time. Drivers are only permitted to pick up/drop off at the designated stops for the service for insurance reasons. They would be in the shit if you were to have an accident (and would probably lose their jobs).

    Rant over.


    October 13, 2006

    Call me superficial but…..

    .... I don’t want to buy The Killers’ new album as I don’t like Brandon Flowers’ new facial hair.


    September 07, 2006

    New Facebook

    By far the best thing about this new look to Facebook is the fact that my news feed tells me that 5 people are going to a party I’m not invited to.

    Oh I feel so much better now I know that!


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