All entries for Tuesday 21 June 2011
June 21, 2011
I didnt get it.
I got half hour after my interview of hearing how amazing I am for my age etc...
And i got an hour long phonecall from teh head telling me Im great and the want me aswell, but dont have the money etc...
And a job offer for 2012, which is too late for me...
All im all, they got my hopes up, and then shot me down, because I wasn't bloody good enough.
And I am tired. And I had to come back from London so I am homesick...
I dont think I can go in tomorrow....I feel awful....awfl awful. Probably took it to heart more then the usual person would...
This is my first interview tomorrow. I have prepared as much as I can. I know about this knew school inside and out. I have practised my answers for possible interview questions. I am nervous, and I have a seriously long day ahead of me.
I have to leave at 6, to travel down to London for the interview. We shall see how it goes.
Now I begun to receive some sort of students teacher relationship, I feel bad leaving the year 11s. And aswell the year 9s.
I had an observation with my year 9 class the other day. I really thought about how I would engage them in the class. I differentiated, I used assessment for learning, I used different kinds of tasks, I used music, I used timers, I pulled out all the stops.
I thought it went amazing, I even heard one students say 'this is what media should be about'. We learnt about target audience, USP, colours and advertising/marketing. They had to make a fragrance for a particular target audience, and every student was interested, on task, involved, and showed a full understanding of the tasks, learning objectives, and even thanked me on the way out of the class room.
So, this is why I feel bad leaving my students, they keep telling me how they ahev been neglected by their normal teacher, and asked me if I would ever be off. Fortunately I dont teach year 9 or 11 tomorrow, so maybe they wont notice I am away!
Update tomorrow on my progress!!! wish me luck...
However - all i forgot to do, i even put it on my ppt, i even had it on my sheet, was read out the learning objectives. I could not believe it!!!! It was have been a great lesson...I feel lik'' im banging my head against a wall again.
I have had no one to introduce me to the classes, what they are doing, where they are, what their names are... and I am being cut no slack...it definitely wasn't a failed lesson.... but im being told its not good enough...
Still, my relationship with my students is getting stronger, just year 10 and yr 12 to pull back... but when you are told repeatedly that the classes you have are awful, and youll never get anything out of them, and are pointed out particular students... it is such a great feeling when you know you have got them engaged, and that they are beginning to try things for you they wouldnt for anyone else.
I have had a breakthrough, I have been given a mentor, albeit one who is never is class with me, or knows anything abotu media... however I have had my first 2 week late observation, and another since then. As it turns out my teaching has been quite good.
My year 11s have started to turn around. There is one girl in particular who has become a persoanl mission of mine. She is on the ABC list - a list of pupils who are on final warning before being permanently expelled. I have let them listen to music in class, and presented them with more detaield worksheets, differentiated to every students, and I have one to one meetings with them in class every week to se where they have got up to, and what they haev to do to improve. From the first meeting to the second meeting, all stduents have moved up to a distinction. I am particularly proud of my ABC girl, who has had her work deleted 3 times, and has got on with putting her coursework back together again.
She seems to have finally got some respect for me. I haev told her I am going to ring her mum if she carries on with this behaviour for another week. We shall see when the novelty of music and a new teacher kicks in. Although, I didnt leave my year 11 class quite so tight chested today.
This image says is all...
Not one person has even poked their little tootsie around the door to see what I am doing and if i am okay...
there is talk of me finally maybe getting a mentor,
I have a support teacher, he doesnt know how to use anything in the media department. But at least I have someone for crowd control.
He is a nice guy, but this really isnt very helpful. No one at the uni is replying, and i am trying to complete my core masters, and cct essays and sct essays, and thiese diary entries...etc
My year 12s have stopped turning up also, so I have emailed the head of sixth form.
Not to mention I have been complained about.. by an assistant principal, for sending an all staff email. I they want me to be treated like a cover teacher then I am going to act like one.
I know these entries are negative negative negative, but thats how its going!
I have no included assessment for learning into my booklets. I have included self, group and peer assessment, not to mention teacher led assessment. I have also added the assessment criteria on each Assessment objective.
The classes can now begin to review and reflect on their own work. Also every student is now aware of exactly what they have to do to get a pass, merit and distinction.
The year 9s are still playing up, I have requested a support teacher (which apparently i am supposed to have anyway), and I have contacted the university for some support. Seeing as I am being used as a cover teacher for over 2 weeks now, I am beginning to panic. No one is takin gmy mentor meetings, observing me, I have no access to registers still, and no one has checked what I am teaching.
I think i am going to ring my mum tonight and seek some advice, I dont think I can do this job.
I have now put together the final booklets. My year 12s are behaving well, my year 11s do not sem liek they like me very much, and my year 9s and 10s are SO badly behaved I really do feel like quitting, its demoralising to say the least.
I feel that I should have a mentor by now, or at least someone to go to when my classes are kicking off. No one has even checked what I am teaching them! It could be anything.
And I dont really want to speak to any parents yet, I dont know how to address them or what to say.
I might try and see my professional mentor again today. And see if she will put something into action...