All 6 entries tagged Waffle

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May 11, 2006

Revision Raddled Observation

The following statements are true:
Most people who know me are aware that I am very very good at losing things.
Most people who know me are aware that I am very very bad at finding things.

If we take that statement as true (and true it is so don't get postmodern on me and tell me it's only a discourse because you are talking shite and it's clearly true because I lose stuff a lot and with great ease) then we should probably accept the following process:

  • I am very good at losing an bad at finding them.
  • Therefore, if I lose something chances are it will take ages to find it, if indeed I ever do find it.
  • To be judged good at losing/bad at finding there must be some sort of average in people whn it comes to losing/finding things.
  • If I am good at losing/bad at finding, most people must be worse at losing things/better at finding them.
  • This creates the average against which my abilities are judged.
  • Therefore why do people get annoyed when I come to them, tell tham I have lost something and have not bothered looked for it already myself? It was likely to get lost, and I accept I won't find it so why get irate at me for not engaging in forlorn and fruitless searches before I ask you (who is quite likely to find it straight away)? It saves us all time!

So people, just help me look and don't bother asking if I've looked because I know my weaknesses and your strengths.


June 12, 2005

Irrelevant Degree Related Crap V – I'm Just Happy To Be Here Tonight

Follow-up to Irrelevant Degree Related Crap IV – Station Approach from Hollyzone



Oh yeah.

No real substance to this post, just a proclamation that I'm glad it's over, and I'm pissed off that England are out of the European Championships because I really wanted to see a game live but couldn't see a group game due to the exam timetabling. I'll blog more on that later. I'll blog more fun stuff. I'll blog more. It's mine all mine now, this vision of a perfectly empty fortnight, only evenings of debauchery pre-booked. I need a break. Here's one I prepared earlier.

Small cupcake as prize for anyone who can spot the songtitle I've paraphrased for this entry's title.

June 09, 2005

Irrelevant Degree Related Crap IV – Station Approach

Follow-up to Irrelevant Degree Related Crap III – Danger! from Hollyzone

For the non-Mancs out there Station Approach is the road leading from Piccadilly train station to the city centre and is, if you're a Cheshire resident on a day out to somewhere which isn't shit, the home straight on the journey. It's also a track on the new Elbow album which I want. Now. Not in September.

Anyway, one more exam and all my fears about this exam lark have pretty much some to nought. I've only done the blag* once. Hell, I've actually done some revision which is unprecedented and worked. Who'd have thought it? The only byproduct has been that as a result of the library time I now have an irrational loathing of silence and several unnecessarily expansive library doodles. Oh and a borderline addiction to caffiene (Red Bull) but I'm broke so I can go cold turkey on that quite easily. Anyway, this pseudo PDP crap is nicely cathartic and roll on Saturday when I've genuinely finished.

Pointless Aside.
There have been a couple of people on here recently complaining about people saying "haytch" not "aytch" for the letter h. I say "haytch" and I can assure you it is perfectly normal and correct… in Ireland. Cultural imports citizens. Tough luck really…

*Written the essay I wanted to write and then twisted the conclusion to make it look like I was answering the question which was actually set.

June 07, 2005

Irrelevant Degree Related Crap III – Danger!

Follow-up to Irrelevant Degree Related Crap II – The Claw from Hollyzone

Revision has made me forget how to blog!

May 29, 2005

Irrelevant Degree Related Crap II – The Claw

Follow-up to Irrelevant Degree Related Crap I from Hollyzone

My right hand won't work. It was forced to scribble over 3000 words in three hours earlier in the name of examination. It hurts and this is taking ages to type as my left hand is somewhat useless. It's become The Claw, a useless handlike appendage of no real use. The most annoying thing is it would only have been about 2500 words if I could spell initiave initiatuve initiative first time. As it was there was a nice neat line of scribbled out attempts to write the bastarding word which upped my wordcount I'm sure.

So wherein lies the problem?

Everything I revised came up. I was spoiled for choice. Ergo nothing else I revise on any other paper will come up. I am now officially screwed. No doubt they'll serve up my Spanish paper only for me to realise it's been done in Portugese or Latin or Swahili. And European World will only have those really bloody boring modules about… erm… well, stuff so dull I didn't even listen. And as for British Electoral Politics…

Falls asleep on desk

May 12, 2005

Irrelevant Degree Related Crap I

I've just noticed I have no PDP category on my blog and nor does most of the people from the beta testing group (check the links to Coach Stu and Group IV to see what I mean). How odd.

Anyway, I've a sort-of PDP entry here but I'm not creating a PDP category for myself because I'm a contrary sod and like to be different. It explains my trousers.


I've managed to finish one apocalyptic, 4500 word essay tonight, including the strangely calming process of footnote writing. Suffice it to say I have one more essay which needs another 500 words and a little bit of historical feng shui to get it to answer the question. Or make sense. After that, three history exams and one Spanish exam, and that's it. I apologise to all science students if they think that's an easy ride. It isn't. You bugger up one of your exams and you've probably lost a few marks in a 12 CAT module. I've got 30 CATS riding on one three hour paper. It's not quantity but quality, as usual.

So what's with the total air of calm?

This time around I'm organised. See, the finished essay isn't due in for a week, I am going to get it proof-read and it's sorted. Plus there's time to sort out the other one. This is all, of course, utterly unprecedented. My usual style is the panicked, week before desperation which guarantees lost nights out, brain mulching migraines and erratic marks. I have no idea what my tutors think of me as I hurtle around pretty much the entire 2:1 range of marks with total abandon. So far I think the only one I've failed to get in two years is 61. There's something not to aim for.

Whatever, I'd bore you with details but you wouldn't thank me. No one needs to know about politcal parties between 1702 and 1714, not even me. Just imagine I wrote a really good essay on something you're interested in and then imagine that I've written an interesting post about that, not this waffley crap.

I'll be found, nervous twitching from an overdose of Red Bull (I have low tolerance of caffiene from not drinking it except as Red Bull during exam periods) and hoping that the scary library fascists don't find me. I'm not doing anything wrong usually, but I'm sure they are after me.

Oh god, I've got library fever. And it was sunny outside…

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