All entries for April 2005

April 30, 2005

Who Is Gordon Random?

Writing about something that doesn't involve the word 'beige' from Talking Behind the Psychic's Back

Anyone, a hint, a clue, a suggestion?

My long suffering brain (and those of Eimear and Claire amongst others) awaits clarity.

Damn, I gotta get some sleep.

April 26, 2005

Reasons I Will Fail My Degree I: My Room

My bastard room is impossible to work in! I've been here since 8pm and have managed bugger all.

The Long View

A- My bass It's a good thing Housemate:Katie is in bed at the moment because otherwise I would be shaking this house's damn foundations with my lovely bass guitar, as seen here. Why bother with essays when there are numerous Bloc Party basslines to learn?
B- My cactus It needs love and affection otherwise it will spike anyone and everyone within range. And I swear it has learned to walk just to improve its range. The only plant ever to survive living with me.
C- The Wall Of Interest Everything pinned on this wall is interesting. It's just too easy to sit there staring gormlessly at it.
D- Sports Kit and Equipment Do work or go for a run? Or play football? Or get fit in the gym? I'm going to be superfit but fail all my exams. This is not the way to go as Paula Radcliffe has a degree. In languages. Why can't I have a nice thick hero like Beckham or Rooney?
E- Laundrey Ok, I'm not that desperate to avoid work that I'll be doing this… yes I am, I really am.

The Close Up

A- Toblerone Energy for, erm, learning stuff with. Honest.
B- Laptop aka Time Stealer Yes, that is my blog page up there and yes I am currently blogging. Not working. Jeez, this thing seemed like a good idea in August 2004, now it's eating my time. Like I eat Toblerone…
C- CDs Oh yes, now is the perfect time to a) buy loads of new CDs, and b) rediscover all the old ones I used to love. I'm listening to 'Version 2.0' by Garbage which I bought in year 10 for the school orchestra tour of Austria. Mmm, the king of Austria gets mentioned in this essay I'm not writing. Ooooh, conscience attack!
D- Lava Lamp My desk is badly positioned, the room light is obscured by my big head so I can't see properly what I am writing on my desk. So I turned on my lava lamp in an attempt to get some light. And then spent ages staring at the pretty lava. All the best laid plans of mice, men and history students.
E- The Guardian Gotta be read. In its Saturday entirety. Good thing I don't read the Times really.
F- Essay Ok ok, I was just blogging for a minute, I'm coming back now… oooooh, Toblerone!

April 24, 2005

Britain And Multiculturalism

I didn't do much for St. George's Day, I'll admit that, but I knew when it was and I knew it was coming without the media hype. I may only be half English but I do really like this place. Everyone whinges about how everyone else thinks it's uncool to be proud of this country even though most people are proud of it. They just don't want to admit to being proud in case they get labelled as something untoward.

The biggest downer on yesterday was that the BNP published their hate document… I mean manifesto… no, wait, I do mean hate document. Typical of that shower that they try to hijack a day which needs to be rehabilitated and saved from their nasty little claws.

One of these idiots main planks is to stop "multiculturalism" and preserve the British culture…





The huge majority of people here are not racist scum. The British are crap at racism really. The French get big scary, nearly elected Jean-Marie Le Pen. Who do we get? A bunch of moronic thugs in suits called the BNP. The British are theoretically misanthropic (they 'hate' the French, the Americans, the Germans, the 'immigrants') but introduce a Brit to anyone, foreign or not and they'll be charming, friendly, polite. We can't do it, we can't manage to be that nasty when faced with actual other people.

And as for ending multicuturalism and favouring the British… that's fucking absurd. Who are the British? Seriously. Who are they?

The British are the perfect mongrel race. Whilst all those thoroughbred dogs with their defects, mental problems, breathing problems, hearing problems, are wandering around costing thousands in vet bills, the mongrels are out there, friendly and healthy and content. And that is what Britain is. Who are we? Celts, Vikings, Angles, Saxons, Romans, Normans, Hugenoets, Dutch, Jews, Indians, Pakistanis, Poles, Germans, Chinese… all these races have at sometime settled here in large numbers.

And to what effect? From the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, the films we watch, the books we read, the art, the language, the sport, that's where the justification comes from. That's where we draw the defences against racist scum comes from.

What do the BNP want? A Britain of Brits? Who are they? Not the Anglo-Saxons of far right myth as they are immigrants themselves. The British are the greatest myth ever perpetuated. They are not a race, they are a mentality, based on the principal of whoever arrives must bring something to the party. And the immigrants brought. They brought loads.

Campaign for an end to multiculturalism if you want (and are thick). But it's Cnut and the sea here, it's too little too late, and this nation would be a lot worse if it lost that ideology of the beautiful mess.

Cnut, for the record was Scandanavian. And St. George was (probably) Greek. Funny how it's always been the way.

April 21, 2005

An Entry For Some People I know

Some people I know (mentioning no names cough Amanda cough cough) have complained that this blog is too intellectual. I resent that accusation.

Anyway, here's an entry certain people (cough cough Amanda cough) might find is about their level.

This is a football.

This is like my football but it isn't flat. I need to pump my football up. Then we can use it. This means an important step. Putting the football in the goal.

If you put the ball in your opponents goal more often than they put it in yours then you win. My job is to stop the ball going in.

Maybe if you score enough goals you'll win this…

But as some people support Leeds Utd (cough cough Amanda cough) so will never win this.

See what happens when I'm not allowed use big words?

April 20, 2005

The Solution To All Your Papal Problems

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

I hearby declare myself Pope Holly I.

This is a necessary step due to the Catholic church's continuing insistence on grumpy old male conservatives.

I promise to pope it up with the best of them, to wear civvies on the new Catholic dress-down Friday (not including Good Friday, but definitely on Bad Friday and Indifferent Friday), to get rid of all the horrible dirgy hymns no one likes because they are depressing, to stop sending absolutely bloody everyone to hell because it's going to cause housing shortages down there.

I will appoint cardinals only if they show some initiative, originality, flair and a good grasp of quadratic equations/memorising random passages from trendy books (delete if science/arts student). Also no cardinal will be appointed if they passed both their theory and practical driving test first time.

Further down I will create new ranks of bishops. Currently we have archbishops and bishops. I think a few more grades are needed, like pseudobishops and typobishops and haroldbishops. These ranks will be attainable by attending courses of varying lengths at weekends with a practical test at the end. This course will include a mandatory police record check and a talk on how not to interfere with small children.

I will ordain women because the only way to keep us out of the Church is to let us in, then it's no longer a principal and we will return to wanting traditional female roles like hot-shot lawyer, 6 o'clock news presenter and lazy English student, when we realise that being a priest ain't all it's cracked up to be.

More nuns. For no good reason I find them entertaining.

I think most churches should be fitted with lasers. This will stop the decline of congregations as everyone loves watching lasers and we can use them to spell out messages like "Love yer neighbour, innit?" Most people will obey if they are told to do something using lasers. Also there should be tapas. Everywhere. This won't replace the traditional bread and wine because that's an important and sacred part of a ancient belief system and this is not about mocking that. But if everyone got tapas on the way out they'd be happier and more inclined to do stuff like that bloke in that book who was quite cool really.

Your new pope has spoken, albeit in English not Latin (amo amas amat amanis amatis amant). Therefore I demand that my pope hat be put in the post and that it reach me no later than next Monday as we have training up at the Westwood astros and I want to be a proper Holy Goalie. Just like John Paul II was.

Pope Holly I. Like the 'other' pope. But better.

April 18, 2005

Stop That Bandwagon, I Want To Get On!

Writing about an entry you don't have permission to view

My right to comment? I may not have perfect freedom of speech but I've never had my wrists slapped by Big Brother Blog Admin and mine is amongst the oldest of the still active blogs. So I'm throwing in my two cents.

To be honest I never mourned the loss of Hot Topics. It was obvious that it was becoming a reason to post pointless posts demanding entries. It was the quiz results of its day, initially a good idea and quite fun, a way to get people involved and doing stuff together. But it got too open to abuse, too easy to post rubbish and push out the interesting posts which were meant to benefit.

But it was an experiment and WB has seen a fair few of those. The layout and design has changed, the capacity of the blogs have changed. And the users have changed. The big names today are not the ones from when I started. In fact of those around when I started I think only Group IV, Coach Stu (currently Big Brother Towers) and (when he bothers (i.e. not often enough)) Mark's Musings are still somewhat active, although I'm not counting the blogs of those who run the damn thing (Keiran and co.) for obvious reasons. And myself. But that's self evident.

I think what I'm trying to say is there's natural evolution at work here. I think the resignation, or consideration of resignation, of a few big names is sad, but it wouldn't kill WB. What's going to happen at the end of the academic year? Will the graduates lose their blogs? If we're mourning the (admittedly sad) loss of Nicholas Wake now what will we feel when we lose Sam Hates..., Dan's Exercise In Narcissism, The Man From O.N.K.E.N. and all the other finalists' blogs?

I wonder if we will be allowed to keep them. I bet despite the restrictions on here most people would like to keep them beyond graduation. Before WB, I didn't want a blog in the outside world because I wanted some degree of control and it felt safer to blog here. I know there are outsiders who read this, but the majority are other students, and that removes (whether true or not) some of the worries I had about people seeing my ranting. I can find no rational reason for why I feel this way but I do, and I know others do.

This thing wins acclaim and has its own personality, different to other blogs. It's not a closed circle either. Demonstrate some wit, some originality or some revision crazed insanity and you'll get noticed, as proven recently by Adrienne. I don't believe it's dying because it's not one animal, it's many, it's a species and it's evolving.

Would I blog on if I lost this? I don't know, I really don't. I half suspect I wouldn't, at least not on one of the big journal sites. But I might change my mind. Or I might not lose this. Whichever.

And Blog Admin, ranters, whingers, complainers and campaigners remember:

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Maturity breeds tolerance. Blog on.

April 17, 2005

Wacky Student Antics

Writing about web page

A Hollyzone/Sam Hates... co-production…

How Cool Is This Woman?

Writing about web page

Ok let's get this straight.

  • Paula Radcliffe suffers nasty Olympics but instead of wobbling away and never touching a marathon ever again she goes straight back to running every marathon under the sun.

  • Paula then wins the New York marathon 11 weeks later.

  • Then just to add a touch of genius to the situation, today she wins the London marathon in 2 hours, 17 minutes and 41 seconds (five minutes ahead of second place) despite having to stop halfway for a wee.

  • Paula Radcliffe used her amazing running powers to run away from the town of her birth- Northwich. If you have ever been to, lived in or had to go to school in Northwich you will understand.

That is all.

April 13, 2005

Oh Right! That's Who I'll Vote For

Pending the local issue for local people I'm voting Labour. Yeah yeah, they hurt me, they upset me, but I only get upset because I feel letdown. I expect the Tories to propose things which make my stomach turn. But Labour I don't. I am, for it all, a Labour person at heart and it's just galling to see the, inevitable, drift to the Right though I still see enough Left in Labour to identify.

It's a vote against.

I want to register my unhappiness but I can't risk a Tory victory. As I have said before, a Tory government is like getting a cold to avoid work. It seems like a good idea beforehand because you'll be missing work. But then you get one and you realise that actually a cold is much worse.

If people were to listen to me I'd say this. People of Britain vote Labour except where your Lib Dems stand a chance of winning. The ideal outcome is Labour being forced to rely on the Lib Dems, a Lefty balancing act. This applies to all except Sedgefield. Voters of Sedgefield vote for anyone but Labour. Get rid of your MP. Chuck him out. If we tip Tony Blair out of power then we've made a point. We like Labour's good work. But we don't like the rampant egomania at the top. A warning to all to behave and listen to the voters.

True story at the end of 6th form we had a vote and an awards ceremony (of sorts) I won two awards, one of which was Most Likely To Become Prime Minister When Older. It won't happen. The top job goes to whoever can occupy the centre ground, economically conservative and socially liberal, with the most vigour. There are variations over time of course. Thatcher, a woman whose politics I detest held power for a long time. But we also threw out our 'beloved' wartime leader Churchill after the war. The fickle electorate doesn't want to be upset. It wants stability. It's the Romans and their circuses all over again and again.

I sometimes wonder if the point of History as a course is to ensure that those who have ideals, have designs on changing things, never do. They are faced with the endless replication of past mistakes and the certainty that, in this country at least, there are no revolutions, only painfully slow evolutions built on the whinging of those lose power as a result and the toil of the perenial losers, the ordinary people.

I heard about the NUS Conference recently, the party magnates overlooking the floor, indicating to their minions in student colours how to vote, and the minions obeyed, hungry for advancement.

I'm too angry to be safe as a poltician. Too determined to get things done my way. Too sure I know best. The best I could ever hope for is one term, in an unsafe seat, arguing from the backbenches, only to be ditched when the tide turns and the unsafe seats fall.

So why do I care?

Because I can't not care. It's not possible. I am not built to be a misanthrope and give up. I hate people in theory but have never met one I could find redeeming features in. I've met far too many good people to give up entirely.

Whatever. I'll vote Labour and hope. It's got to be better than allow the Tories in and fear.

Who To Vote For? Part 3

  • War On Terror/Iraq

Sometimes I regret reading 1984. I really do.

I also wonder sometimes if people have registered the history of this country since the 1960s. Ooooooooh, terrorism be afraid, be afraid of TERRORISM.


Erm, it's not llike we've never had terrorism in this country before. And had it everywhere to, from London Docklands to Warrington just a few miles from where I lived in the quiet of Cheshire.

I think the whole war in Iraq and the War Against Terrorism (TWAT) has been used to cover a multitude of governmental sins. We should not have attacked Iraq when we did, if at all. Simple as. Don't leave comments about this below, I don't have time to have this argument now. Let's just say Labour ignored the wishes of the majority and went ahead with its head held high up GWB's arse.

As a result we've lost a lot of our rights and there is a danger that this could teeter over more into an obsessively regulated state. I don't think it will be this bad but I don't like an atmosphere which brings up the possiblity. ID cards in particular annoy me. I have, and pay for, three forms of legitimate ID as it is. I am not paying for a 4th when I have my, supposedly hard to forge, driver's license and passports. The Tories meanwhile are attacking Blair's 'attacks' on civil liberties but would do exactly the same in his shoes.

It is probably too late to switch to Lib Dem. We're already in Iraq (such a success) and we can't just abandon them now. Unfortunately this issue really does leave me wondering where the common sense went. Where the hope went. I can't change anything about it so I am looking at the other issues to help me make up my mind. This one really is too depressing.

On this issue… no one. Sweet apathy.

  • Local Issues

I've not be leafletted yet. I don't know the local issue yet. Someone should tell me soon. All I know is James Plaskitt is a Blairite kiss arse but one who seems to have some reasonable views on society and local issues. He would appear to be good as a local MP but his record on national issues is at odds with what I want. However he was only about 5500 votes ahead of the Tories here last time round. A vote for the Lib Dems in Leam is probably not worth it.

April 2005

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